THE WEST WING
"HOLY NIGHT"
WRITTEN BY: AARON SORKIN
DIRECTED BY: THOMAS SCHLAMME

TEASER 

FADE IN: EXT. STREET
We pan down over the top of a building and past and apartment window where we can 
hear Bob Hope playing on the TV.

SINGERS 
"Silver bells, Silver bells, Soon it will be Christmas Day..."

BOB HOPE 
[on TV] Yes, indeed, Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. How many different meanings 
those two words can have. Little children yell "Merry Christmas" and words ring with 
excitement. A mother whispers "Merry Chrsitmas" to her baby boy..."

	BROOKLYN HEIGHTS CHRISTMAS EVE

We pan past a bar where we can hear a woman singing jazz. We are now at street level 
where a sailor whistles for a cab and he and friends get in.

	1954

We begin to zoom in on a car parked along side the road. The men inside are speaking 
Yiddish. 

ZEV
You hear what I said?

JACOB
Yeah.

JULIE
Cole Porter is a great American songwritier for the Broadway shows. And was in a 
singing group at his University... but it's got a name I can't pronounce.

ZEV
Say it in Yiddish.

JACOB
What do you mean Yiddish doesn't have the word?

JULIE
Whiffenpoof?

ZEV
You been to a show?

JULIE
I got a record album.

Julie and Zev begin to sing.

JACOB
Would the two of you shut up?

ZEV
Why do you have to be like that? His wife just had a boy, why can't he feel good?

JACOB
He's not in there.

ZEV
Jacob. He's in there. I scouted the place.

JACOB
All right. I'm calling Anastasia. The guy isn't in there.

ZEV
You don't know that.

JACOB
You're saying my eyes don't work? There's a phone in back of the thing, right?

ZEV
Yeah.

JACOB
You got a nickel?

ZEV
Yeah.

JACOB
Then why don't you come with me?

ZEV
Yeah.

The men get out of the car. 

JACOB
[to Julie] You stay here.

JULIE
I can come if you want.

ZEV
No Julie, we'll just be a minute.

Jacob and Zev walk around the corner of a building. Julie walks into the middle of 
the street and lights a cigarette. A woman walks by pushing a baby in a stroller 
who is starting to cry.

JULIE
[to himself] Tobias.

Two gunshots can be heard in the distance. Julie starts to run to the place where 
his friends went, but Jacob comes walking back around the corner alone.

JACOB 
Get back in the car.

JULIE
Where's Zev?

JACOB
What can you do?

JULIE
What?

JACOB
I said what can you do?

Julie and Jacob get back into the car.

JACOB
Jules, what did you name your son?

JULIE
Tobias. Little Toby.

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *

ACT ONE

FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE PORTICO - DAY
We can hear an all mens chorus singing as the camera shoots several people walking 
down the portico. The doors to the outer Oval Office opens up and Dr. Keyworth walks 
out. We go into the OUTER OVAL OFFICE where C.J. enters and stands in the door to the 
Mural Room where the Whiffenpoofs are singing "Bye-bye, Blackbird".

WHIFFENPOOFS
"Pack up all my care and woe 
Here I go, singing low 
Bye-bye, blackbird 
Where somebody waits for me 
Sugar's sweet and so is she 
Bye-bye, blackbird 
No one here can love or understand me 
But, oh, what hard luck stories they all hand me 
Make my bed and light the light I'll arrive real late tonight 
Singing blackbird, bye-bye-bye 
And he sings his song like this: 
Twiddle-de-te-ta-ti Twiddle-de-te-ta-ti 
My little blackbird bye 
Skittle-ti-ti-ti 
Oh, how sweet is she 
Bye-bye, bye-bye, blackbird 
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder 
But, oh, I hope I'll never have to wonder..."

C.J. motions Carol to come to her.

C.J.
It's really starting to get socked in out there and I'm worried about the airports.

CAROL
You think they should wrap it up?

C.J.
Well, one more after this.

CAROL
I know. Aren't they great?

C.J.
You just want them to take you to their place and... 

A lusty look comes over her face.

CAROL
They're 20 years old, ma'am.

C.J.
Yes. Sing... is what I was going to say. Take you to their place and sing.

Carol smirks at C.J. and walks away.

WHIFFENPOOFS
"Make my bed and light the light 
I'll be home late tonight 
Blackbird, bye Bye-bye-bye-bye..."

C.J. walks out of the Mural Room into the HALLWAY where she runs into Leo.

C.J.
You should hear these guys...

LEO
Yeah, in a minute. [to Josh] Hey. You staying in town?

JOSH
No. She's meeting Jack Reese at the Washington Inn. How does he get a room at the Wash-- 
I can't get a room at the Washington Inn. [beat] Me? I don't know yet. What do you need?

LEO
Isreal's closed the Church of the Nativity. You want to believe that at Christmas?

JOSH
It's ironic.

LEO
Why?

JOSH
'Cause Mary and Joseph couldn't get a room at the inn and they went to this place, 
which is now on Christmas-- the irony isn't self- explanatory?

LEO
This isn't funny.

JOSH
I know.

LEO
It's not funny.

JOSH
Why did they close it?

LEO
I don't know. Can you find out?

JOSH
Yeah.

LEO
Thank you.

CUT TO: INT. OFFICE AT FREEDOM WATCH - DAY
Toby and his lawyer Ron are seated at a table. There is a court reporter taking notes 
when Claypool begins the deposition.

CLAYPOOL
Good morning. This is a deposition in the matter of Laurie Milton and Citizens fo Full 
Disclosure v. Congresswoman Andrea Wyatt in U.S. District Court for the District of 
Columbia and taken at the offices of Freedom Watch. The court reporter today is 
Patricia Gold from the firm of Alpha Reporting. Your name is?

TOBY
Toby Ziegler.

CLAYPOOL
Is that your full name?

TOBY
Tobias Zachary Ziegler.

CLAYPOOL
Date of birth?

TOBY
December 23, 1954.

CLAYPOOL
Today's your birthday?

TOBY
Yes.

CLAYPOOL
What is your relationship to Congresswoman Wyatt?

TOBY
She's my ex-wife.

CLAYPOOL
And is she pregnant right now?

TOBY
You would have to ask her.

CLAYPOOL 
Why's that?

RON
He's not answering.

CLAYPOOL
It's been widely reported?

TOBY
Yes.

CLAYPOOL
You won't confirm it?

TOBY
No.

CLAYPOOL
Why is that?

TOBY
It's private.

CLAYPOOL
There is no right to privacy in a deposition.

TOBY
But you have to demonstrate relevancy.

CLAYPOOL
Miss Wyatt is being sued by her constituents for failing to disclose a medical 
disability while she's asking for their votes and we're trying to discover the 
extent of the conspiracy.

TOBY
The conspiracy was massive.

CLAYPOOL
How pregnant is your ex-wife?

TOBY
As I understand pregnancy, it's a binary state, you either are or you aren't.

CLAYPOOL
You are the father, are you not?

TOBY
Once again, there are medical records.

A man enters and hands Ron a note.

CLAYPOOL
You and Miss Wyatt conceived this baby out of wedlock.

TOBY
There are two babies.

RON 
They're closing Dulles, so I'd like to suggest that we pick this up again after 
the holiday.

CLAYPOOL
That's fine.

TOBY
I'm told that on my sunniest of days, I'm not that fun to be around. I wonder what's 
going to happen when you make my children a part of your life.

CUT TO: INT. PRESS BRIEFING ROOM - DAY

C.J.
The President and First Lady will board Air Force One this evening at 7:30 for their 
flight to Manchester and attend midnight mass tomorrow at the Church of the Sacred Heart. 
Mark... what are you doing?

MARK 
[standing at the door] What do you mean?

C.J.
You were supposed to come in here as Santa Claus.

MARK
We did it already.

C.J.
Where was I?

KATIE 
You were with the President, and we started to worry about the weather.

C.J.
You exchanged gifts?

MARK
Sorry.

C.J.
Well, this is exactly what happened to Ebenezer Scrooge who was a very nice little guy 
until something happened with Mr. Fezziwig that I can't remember. 

The reporters laugh.

C.J.
All right, back to business.

SANTA 
Ho, ho, ho!

C.J.
Aww... you see!

SANTA 
Ho, ho, ho!

C.J.
Santa, you'll be mindful of security, right?

MARK
He's cleared.

SANTA
Have you been a good girl?

C.J.
I've been bad, I've been very bad.

SANTA 
Even better. 

He pulls out a gift box. C.J. opens the box.

C.J.
Aww... It's a goldfish pin! Thank you everyone. It's beautiful. Merry Christmas. 
This is so sweet. Thank you. That's a full lid.

REPORTERS
Merry Christmas. 

The reporters leave.

C.J.
They gave me a gold fish pin 'cause I like goldfish. Actually, what I like are the 
crackers, but there was a guy... 

Santa grabs C.J. and kisses her.

C.J.
Danny?

Santa pulls off his beard.

DANNY
What's going on?

CUT TO: EXT. WHITE HOUSE ENTRANCE - DAY
The snow is falling hard and Toby is walking in the entrance. He goes into the 
LOBBY. Will is sitting on a bench writing, waiting for Toby.

WILL
How'd it go?

TOBY
Why do you sit in the lobby instead of my office?

WILL
The Holy line of Demarcation, right there. It's where the West Wing starts and I won't 
go past it.

TOBY
I wasn't listening to anything you just said.

WILL
I said the Holy Line of Demarcat...

TOBY
It's 'cause I didn't care.

WILL
You got notes back on the Congressional section.

TOBY
This has become inconvenient for me.

WILL
What has?

TOBY
Your being at OEOB and me having meetings in the lobby. I'm moving you closer.

WILL
To where?

They start to walk to the HALLWAY.

TOBY
The empty office next to me.

WILL
I'm not moving into the deputy's office.

TOBY
Why?

WILL
A. I'm not the deputy, B. It's Sam's office, and finally, it's way, way over the 
Holy Line of Demarcation.

TOBY
You'll move your stuff in today.

WILL
That's the Oval Office over there, right?

TOBY
Yeah.

WILL
I'm averting my eyes.

TOBY
Okay.

They pass by THE ROOSEVELT ROOM.

WILL
Seriously, Toby, you put me in that office and everyone who works on the speech-writing 
staff is gonna resent me.

TOBY
Don't be ridiculous. It's a West Wing office. Everyone who works in the White House is 
gonna resent you.

WILL
That's right.

TOBY
Yet, curiously, I don't care.

WILL
All right, the notes on the Congressional section...

TOBY
Get your stuff, and we'll talk about the notes.

WILL
Thank you.

Will walks away. Toby walks into the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE, where he picks uo some 
papers off a desk. He then walks into his OFFICE, where an old man is sitting, but 
Toby doesn't see him.

TOBY
Zach, can you call Joan Tanner at the EPA, please?

JULIE
Toby.

Toby turns around and sees the man, but doesn't respond.

TOBY
Ginger?

JULIE
I'm not here through any funny business. I have an appointment tag that was gotten 
for me by Mr. Joshua Lyman.

TOBY
Josh got you in? You talked to Josh?

JULIE
Yes, sir.

GINGER
Yeah.

JULIE
Oh, I'm, uh... I'm Toby's father. I'm Julie Ziegler.

GINGER 
It's great to meet you, Mr. Ziegler. I'm Ginger. I'm a staff assistant.

TOBY
Ginger, tell security to stand by at Station Six, please.

GINGER 
Yes, sir.

JULIE
I got an appointment tag, Toby. Don't do this, huh? Your brother, your sisters, they let 
me in their lives. I play with the grandchildren. And now your gonna have twins. I read 
it in the newspaper. I'm so happy for you, son. You should hear how I talk about you.

Toby walks out while Julie is still talking. Julie stands in the office and watches 
Toby as he walks away.

FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT. THE PRESIDENTS PRIVATE STUDY - DAY
Bartlet is talking with Dr. Stanley Keyworth.

BARTLET
There's a new international math and science study. We rank 19 out of 21 countries.

STANLEY
That's not very good.

BARTLET
This is what I'm talking about.

STANLEY
Who did worse?

BARTLET
South Africa and Cyprus.

STANLEY
See, that's questionable company 'cause you don't think of Cyprus as a leader in the field.

BARTLET
No, you don't. Nor us anymore, for that matter. One-third of all math teachers and half 
of science teachers didn't major or minor in that subject.

STANLEY
I did very well in math and science. I don't know why.

BARTLET
And we'll want to get to the bottom of that. But we're increasing education spending to 
over a $100 billion a year and, as a result, we have seventh grade textbooks being used 
in ninth grade and the same answers get a higher score on S.A.T.s.

STANLEY
That pissed me off.

BARTLET
Right. But I'm talking about children now.

STANLEY
What'd you get?

BARTLET
On the S.A.T.s?

STANLEY
Yeah.

BARTLET
You don't want to know.

STANLEY
You got double-800, didn't you?

BARTLET
I got 800/790. For the life of me, I can't imagine what I got wrong. Then I took them 
again, and got 800/790. I mean, is it possible there was some sort of number-two pencil 
anomaly that could've...?

STANLEY
Excuse me. I-I'm sorry to interrupt, uh... You got a 800/790 and took the test again?

BARTLET
Yeah, I know, it's a little... something.

STANLEY
It's a little something. Yeah.

BARTLET
So our schools have reached a crisis and our infant mortality rate is two and a half 
times what it is in Singapore. So what I think we should do for starters is, we should 
keep more people alive, then send them to school. Get a little peace and prosperity going.

STANLEY
You feeling like you haven't been doing enough about it yet?

BARTLET
Stanley, the width and depth of what I haven't done about it yet... You know you can't 
do anything about hurricanes? The President can't do anything about nature or bad luck. 
I ought to be able to do something about the airplane.

STANLEY
Uh-oh.

BARTLET
Wait, what'd I just say?

STANLEY
It's hard to figure, sir, but you've introduced a new word into the conversation.

BARTLET
What do airplanes signify?

STANLEY
Death.

BARTLET
Really.

STANLEY
Well, that's in dreams... I think. I don't know.

BARTLET
Stanley, I never thought to ask, but you are a doctor, right?

STANLEY
Me?

BARTLET
Yeah.

STANLEY
How do you mean? 

They chuckle.

BARTLET
I've been spacing out for a minute at meetings. Three times this week. I hear someone 
talking and realize I wasn't listening to part of it.

STANLEY
That's unusual?

BARTLET
Very. 

The intercom rings and Bartlet answers.

BARTLET
Hi. Yeah. [hangs up phone] It's Leo.

Leo enters.

LEO
Mr. President.

BARTLET
What's going on?

LEO
The Church of the Nativity is closed. You want to believe that?

BARTLET
Why?

LEO
I'm finding out. Dr. Keyworth, Dulles and International are both closed.

STANLEY
Ah.

LEO
You mind being our guest for a little while?

STANLEY
Thank you.

BARTLET
And now we're one-third of the way through an Agatha Chrstie story. [gravely] "Where 
nobody be goin' nowhere. The bridge is washed out." Well, I'm finished. But I was doing 
the guy that says that in the Agatha Christie stories. Stanley, as always. Leo, I'll be 
in the office.

LEO
Thank you, sir.

CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Charlie is walking down the hallway flipping through a folder. He enters the OUTER 
OVAL OFFICE where Zoey is standing with a guy.

ZOEY
Hey, Charlie.

CHARLIE
Hey, Zoey.

Charlie continues to walk into THE OVAL OFFICE, but turns around when he realizes that 
there was a guy with Zoey.

CHARLIE
Hello.

ZOEY
Hi. Uh, this is Jean-Paul. Jean-Paul, this is Charlie Young.

CHARLIE
How do you do.

JEAN-PAUL
Ah, Zoey talks about you all the time. She talks about you so much I think sometimes 
I want to kill you.

CHARLIE
Hey, that's nice of you. Thanks.

ZOEY
It's a common emotion.

CHARLIE
Is there a particular way I'm supposed to address you?

JEAN-PAUL
No, don't be silly.

ZOEY
He's very casual about it. The average passerby would never know he was French royalty. 
Unless, you know, they looked at him.

JEAN-PAUL 
Yes.

CHARLIE
Well, Jean Paul, I read 150 words about you in US Weekly and I feel like I know you already.

JEAN-PAUL
Thank you.

CHARLIE
Excuse me.

Charlie enters THE OVAL OFFICE and Zoey follows him, leaving Jean Paul in the Outer Office.

ZOEY
So... I need you to give me the coverage on my father's mood.

CHARLIE
Why?

ZOEY
'Cause I want to ask him something.

CHARLIE
What?

ZOEY
Do you need to know?

CHARLIE
No, I just want to.

ZOEY
If I tell you why, will you tell me his mood?

CHARLIE
Yes.

ZOEY
I want to ask my dad if Jean-Paul can come to New Hampshire with us.

CHARLIE
He hasn't met him yet.

ZOEY
He's going to meet him today.

CHARLIE
Now we've got ourselves a show.

ZOEY
My dad's going to love him.

CHARLIE
Oh, yeah.

ZOEY
Well, I love him, so my father will love him.

CHARLIE
That's absolutely the way it works.

ZOEY
Will you just tell me his mood?

CHARLIE
No. I'm afraid you fell for the oldest trick in the book. I work for the President. 
I don't discuss his mood. But I wish you all the luck in the world. I like Jean-Paul. 
You've got a lot in common.

ZOEY
You are the worst kind of snob.

CHARLIE
Well, I think there are snobs who are way worse but thank you.

Charlie walks out of the Oval Office and passes Jean-Paul.

CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY

DANNY
When I left, they had 97 runs.

C.J.
The score gets that high?

DANNY
A high score is 400.

C.J.
When did you start liking cricket?

DANNY
Well, I haven't yet. But last week I took four days in Bermuda.

C.J.
Oh, I love Bermuda. I like the scooters.

DANNY
I do too, and I got one, and I was riding into Hamilton when I saw a bunch of people 
playing cricket. And I like sports, though it turns out, not as much as I'd thought. 
But that's not the point.

C.J.
What was the point?

DANNY
I met a guy there, a Bermudian whose name I'm not going to tell you right now. He was 
explaining the game to me. He's a cricket nut. He plays in a league. And he's a ramp 
signal agent at a small airstrip. He marshals planes as they're coming in. He was 
telling me a story to illustrate how much he loves cricket. There was a day his 
supervisor told his four-person crew they had tomorrow off 'cause a training crew was 
coming in to work their shift. Well, the next day, the guy realized that he left his 
cricket bat in his locker at work and his wife had the car so he walks six-miles back 
to the airstrip to get it. Except, when he got there, he wasn't allowed in. Three men 
in coveralls, who identified themselves as being part of the training crew, were 
standing out front. All three of them were white, two of them had Southern accents. 
On May 21st, he was told to take tomorrow off. On the 22nd... Abdul Shareef's plane 
went off radar 85 miles from Bermuda.

C.J.
This is like something you'd get on the Internet.

DANNY
I'm back and I'm happy about it. And I think you know how I feel about you. But don't 
mess me around on this story, okay? The three guys out front were U.S. Army Rangers. 
I got to change my clothes.

Danny walks out of C.J.'s office. C.J. watches him as he leaves.

CAROL [OS] 
He's back!

DANNY [OS] 
I go where you are, Carol. You're where the story is.

CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY
Leo is typing on his computer, and Josh is standing by Leo's desk.

JOSH
The Israelis say it's unsafe.

LEO
They're worried about an attack.

JOSH
They're worried about the roof caving in, part of it collasped this morning.

LEO
Why can't they fix it?

JOSH
'Cause they'd have to bring in hammers and nails.

LEO
They're worried someone's going to use this stuff for bombs?

JOSH
Of course that's what they're worried about. Leo, there are like 93,000 other churches 
within rock-throwing distance of this place. I'm not sure...

LEO
I don't think that's the point. I'm not trying to create a plan for a lasting cease-fire. 
Right now, I'm just trying to fix a roof. Is that really not possible down there? See 
if you can find a U.N. relief and recovery unit anywhere around there, or an NGO that 
could serve as neutral-- God-- as a nuetral part to oversee transportation, storage 
and repair. Thank you.

JOSH
Thank you.

Josh exits Leo's office into the HALLWAY.

TOBY
What the hell are you doing? What were you doing?

JOSH
Yes, I'm sorry. Yes, I did.

TOBY
I wish you hadn't and you knew that.

JOSH
I did.

TOBY
Yeah.

Toby walks away leaving Josh standing in the hallway.

CUT TO: INT: TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY
Julie Ziegler is looking at a framed newspaper on Toby's wall, when Toby enters.

TOBY
Your flight's canceled. All the shuttles are canceled for a while.

JULIE
I can take the train.

TOBY
No, you can't. The tracks are frozen in Trenton. What hotel are you staying at? 
We'll see if we can get you the room for a few hours more.

JULIE
I didn't take a room.

TOBY
Ginger...

JULIE
I can be quiet while you work.

TOBY
[to Ginger] Would you call around to the hotels we know and see if anybody's got 
a room for me?

GINGER
Yeah.

JULIE
You got some pull in this town, huh?

TOBY
Excuse me.

Toby walks into SAM'S OFFICE where Will is sitting at the desk working. There are 
bicycles all over it.

TOBY
Hey.

WILL
Good.

TOBY
Looks like some of the junior staffers may have moved their bicycles in here in protest.

WILL
Yeah, looks like that may have happened.

TOBY
You know...

WILL
I don't care. I want to talk about the notes.

TOBY
I agree with all three of them.

WILL
I agree with two of the three. He says: "No leading with reform. Fix the pipes. Don't 
buy a new toolbox." You got to talk about the toolbox now. At the beginning of the 
administration is the only time you can.

TOBY
Except, if you say, at the beginning of the administration that you want campaign reform, 
and nothing happens, then you just spent four years doing nothing about campaign reform.

WILL
Yeah, you got to get on the field and then you got to win.

TOBY
I-I still think he's right but it gets a conversation. Someone will tell you what time 
the meeting is.

WILL
With who?

TOBY
The President.

WILL
And who?

TOBY
Us.

WILL
Uh, no. I shouldn't be there for that.

TOBY
You can tell 'em I said move the bicycles, you know?

WILL
Can we forget about that? I'm not prepared, nor I must say, do I feel comfortable at 
this point--

TOBY
Yeah.

Toby walks out of Sam's office back into his OFFICE where his father is still waiting.

TOBY
We're striking out on hotels.

JULIE
Well, if you like, I can wait someplace else around here.

TOBY
Okay, that's a good idea. You've been convicted of multiple felonies. You think the 
U.S. Secret Service lets you walk around this building unescourted?! You can't! 
You're a threat to the President!

JULIE
I'm really not.

TOBY
I'm going to work for a while now.

Toby seats at his desk and begins to read papers. Julie sits down in a chair in 
Toby's office.

FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *

ACT THREE

FADE IN: EXT. PORTICO - DAY
Bartlet is standing out on the portico watching the snow fall when Charlie exits
from the Oval Office.

CHARLIE
Sir.

BARTLET
Yeah?

CHARLIE
Do you need a coat?

BARTLET
It's not that cold.

Charlie goes back into THE OVAL OFFICE and into the OUTER OVAL OFFICE where we hear 
the men's group singing "The Girl from Ipanema" to Donna in THE MURAL ROOM.

WHIFFENPOOFS
"Tall and tan and young and lovely 
The girl from Ipanema goes walking 
And when she passes, each one she passes goes - ah..."

DONNA
No, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's not doing it for me. This is a Rale Chalet in the 
mountains with four-poster beds and dust ruffles. There's a 14,000 bottle wine cellar. 
You got anything like that?

SINGER
We'll put our heads together ma'am.

DONNA
I appreciate it.

Carol enters carrying a tray of sandwiches.

CAROL
Sandwiches. Here you go. [to Donna] You should leave right now.

DONNA
I'm leaving right now.

CAROL
You roads are all right?

DONNA
I-66, Which they've been salting since this morning.

CHARLIE
Carol.

CAROL
Yeah?

CHARLIE
He'd like to do the Times closer to 6:00. Can C.J. or a deputy sit in?

CAROL
Yeah. [to Whiffenpoofs] You guys are all set?

DONNA
I can stay here until you come back.

CAROL
I'll just be a second.

DONNA
Can you think of an appropriate song they can do for me before I go?

CHARLIE
You guys know "Girl From Ipanema"?

CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Barltet enters from the portico.

BARTLET
Charlie.

CHARLIE
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
I want to see Josh in his office. Let him know I'm coming.

CHARLIE
Yes, sir.

Bartlet walks off. Charlie turns back to Donna who's in THE MURAL ROOM.

CHARLIE
Go ahead, go now.

DONNA
I'll wait.

CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY
Josh is sitting at his desk talking on the phone.

JOSH
No, no, actually three units are in the Sudan and a fourth is in Turkey, which... 
just had a 6.2 seismic experience. That's an earthquake, right? Okay, just make 
sure they know it's just transportation and oversight. We don't need materials. 

A knock on the door.

JOSH
Come in. Becky, also... 

Josh turns around and sees Bartlet.

JOSH
Excuse me. I'll call you back. Good afternoon, Mr. President.

BARTLET
Listen, this is going to sound crazy but Olympia Buckland had an infant mortality 
bill that we asked her not to take out of committee 'cause it was too expensive.

JOSH
Yeah.

BARTLET 
I'd like her initiative or something similiar to be folded into the HHS budget.

JOSH
Yes, sir. We can make it a priority with the next Congress.

BARTLET
No, I mean I want it for the next Congress. You understand what I'm saying?

JOSH
I... Yes, I think that you're saying that before it goes to the printer on January 1st, 
you want to rewrite the federal budget.

BARTLET
A little bit, yeah. If we nip and tuck in different departments we can do it. It'll 
take an around-the-clock kind of effort. Yes it's a holiday, but OMB works for us, right?

JOSH
For the moment, yes.

BARTLET
You think this is crazy?

JOSH
No, certainly not crazier than Leo going for peace in the Middle East by the close 
of business.

BARTLET
?

JOSH
Yes, sir. I can.

BARTLET
Thank you.

JOSH
Thank you, Mr. President.

Bartlet exits and Josh walks to his BULLPEN AREA.

DONNA [OS] 
Good afternoon, Mr. President.

JOSH
I'm sorry. It's not what it looks like.

DONNA
It's okay.

JOSH
It's the...

DONNA
What?

JOSH
HHS budget, it seems very important to him and there's hard deadline.

DONNA
It's really okay.

JOSH
I'll have you on the road as soon as I possibly can.

DONNA
Were do we start?

JOSH
Call the policy council. Tell them we need to package an initiative on infant 
mortality. I'll walk them through it.

DONNA
Yeah.

CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY
Charlie sees Will enter.

CHARLIE
Hello.

WILL
Good afternoon. I'm Will Bailey.

CHARLIE
Oh, it's good to meet you. Charlie Young.

WILL
Hi.

CHARLIE
The President's going to see you in just a minute.

WILL
Oh, no, no, I'm meeting Toby Ziegler here.

CHARLIE
Yeah, Toby's not coming. He called. Leo needs him on the Hill.

WILL
Really?

CHARLIE
Yeah.

WILL
Well, this should be rescheduled for a time when that's not happening. I'll just go 
back to my office.

The door to the Oval Office opens up, and Will begins to run away.

BARTLET
Toby here yet?

CHARLIE
No, sir, but this is Will Bailey.

BARTLET
So, finally we meet.

WILL
Hello.

BARTLET
Want to come in?

WILL
Oh, no, no. No, no, no.

BARTLET 
Okay. Well, I sent some notes on the Congressional section.

WILL
Did you?

BARTLET
Isn't that why you're here?

WILL
Actually, I was just meeting Toby Ziegler.

BARTLET
To see me.

WILL
Yes.

BARTLET
I thought it was about the notes on the Congressional section.

WILL
I'm pretty sure it is.

BARTLET
Okay. Would you like to come back with Toby?

WILL
I think so, sir, yes.

BARTLET
Well, thanks for stopping by.

WILL
Thank you, Mr. Justice... Mr. Bartlet... Mr. President, actually.

Barltet goes back into the Oval Office.

WILL
Oh, my God.

CHARLIE
You know what? I've seen worse.

WILL
Really?

CHARLIE
Well, no.

WILL
Yeah.

Toby walks in. 

WILL
Hey, I thought you were up at the Hill.

TOBY
On the Hill. You're not at the Hill. So, I'm back. How'd it go?

WILL
Didn't go very well.

TOBY
Presidential flameout?

WILL
Doesn't matter, look...

They reach the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE.

TOBY
Makes you feel like you'll never know the love of a real woman.

WILL
Can we not talk about it?

TOBY
Sure. What'd he say on the Congressional section? Never quite got there.

WILL
No.

TOBY
Yeah. That's a harsh look in the mirror. That'll be with you the next time you try 
to make love to a real woman.

WILL
Look, it doesn't matter about me. I think this thing is important.

TOBY
Bonnie, would you get Mr. Bailey and myself a few minutes with the President this 
evening?

BONNIE 
Yeah.

Toby sees that there are big posters of Sam's campaign plastered to the windows of 
his old office.

TOBY
And, people, there are laws against campaigning in Federal buildings. If you're going 
to cover Will's office, please use plain oak tag or shaving cream, if you need to. Okay?

WILL
Yeah.

GINGER 
Hey, Toby? Lisa Lily's on the phone. The Justice Department is having some kind of 
thing tonight with skits, and she wants to know when Albert Anastasia was killed. 
I can't find it. Do you know?

TOBY
No, but hang on a second.

Toby walks into his OFFICE where is father is still waiting.

TOBY
When was Albert Anastasia killed?

JULIE
I'm sorry?

TOBY
When was Anastasia killed?

JULIE
October of 1957.

Toby walks back out to the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE.

TOBY
October of '57.

GINGER
Thanks.

STAFFER
Here you go. [hands Toby a piece of paper]

TOBY
Thank you.

Toby goes inside WILL'S OFFICE.

TOBY
7:30.

WILL
You'll be there?

TOBY
Yes.

WILL
You promise?

TOBY
Listen, when you get home tonight you're going to be confronted by the instinct to 
drink alone. Trust that instinct. Manage the pain. Don't try to be a hero.

WILL
Who rides a bicycle to work when there's going to be a foot and a half of snow?

TOBY
These are all good questions.

WILL
Okay. Hey, your dad seems like such a nice guy. I was talking to him before.

TOBY
Yeah.

WILL
Is he retired?

TOBY
Yeah.

WILL
What did he do?

TOBY
He made ladies' raincoats and before that, he worked for Murder Incorporated.

Toby walks back out to the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE.

TOBY
Boy, it really is snowing.

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - NIGHT
Josh is standing at a desk talking on the phone. 

JOSH
There problem is, there's been an earthquake in Turkey and those units are occupied. 
I say there's been an earthquake. A 6.2 seismic experience. Thank you, I realize the 
hour and it's a holiday but if can get back to me. Thank you. 

He hangs up the phone.

DONNA
Well, they've got three PADs working on it and both deputies at DPC. So far, the 
policy councils are having a hard time taking action without identifying offsets.

JOSH
What are they talking about?

DONNA
Early childhood nutrition.

JOSH
They want to cut early childhood nutrition? The kids will just die later.

DONNA
They don't want to cut anything.

JOSH
What does OMB have?

DONNA
They want to explore a dedicated tax.

JOSH
A tax on poor people 'cause they can't afford medical care.

DONNA
I wouldn't try to sell it that way.

JOSH
I'll get you there first thing in the morning.

DONNA
What did you mean when you said it's not what it looks like?

JOSH
Jack's already down there?

DONNA
Yeah.

JOSH
I'll call him and apologize.

DONNA
What did you mean?

JOSH
I meant that I wasn't keeping you here on purpose.

DONNA
Why would I think you were doing that?

JOSH
I wasn't.

DONNA
Why would I think you were?

JOSH
I don't know. It was just something I said. Listen, it doesn't have to be a disaster, 
you know. C.J.'s staff is going to make little snowmen and stick them on the seats in 
the Press Briefing Room and take a picture. We can do that and then I'll get you drunk 
at the Hawk and Dove.

DONNA
That sounds nice.

JOSH
I have to go see the President.

Josh starts for the HALLWAY.

C.J.
How's it going?

JOSH
Leo and the President have gone Chrsimas crazier than usual.

C.J.
You know Danny's back.

JOSH
Yeah, I got an e-mail from him. Any sparks?

C.J.
Come here for a second.

They go into C.J.'S OFFICE.

C.J.
He's chasing a story that says the day Shareef's plane went down, there was an airstrip 
in Bermuda that was secured by Rangers.

JOSH
You told Leo?

C.J.
I told him. I didn't ask him any questions.

JOSH
Danny thinks w-we somehow got a Gulfstream to land in Bermuda, assassinated Sharef, 
then disassembled the plane and distributed the pieces throughout the Bermuda Triangle?

C.J.
Yeah.

JOSH
I think he spent too much time in the Africa hot.

C.J.
The thing is...

JOSH
Yeah?

C.J.
I'm absolutely certain that's what happened.

JOSH
We're not supposed to talk about his.

C.J.
If it is true, we need to say so before Danny does. We've been here before.

JOSH
Not here, but I get your point.

C.J.
Okay.

CUT TO: EXT. PORTICO - NIGHT
Bartlet and Zoey are walking down the portico towards the Oval Office.

ZOEY
Well, what do you think so far?

BARTLET
He's the best-looking person I've ever seen in real life.

ZOEY
Want me to tell you about his lineage?

BARTLET
Oh, would you?

ZOEY
Jean-Paul Pierre Claude Charpentier Vicomte de Condé de Bourbon. He's the 22nd Vicomte 
de Bourbon, though obviously that got interrupted by the French Revolution.

BARTLET
Yeah, that was a setback for the Bourbons. Listen...

ZOEY
So, I have to ask you and I'm nervous but I'd like Jean-Paul to come stay with us in 
Manchester this Christmas.

BARTLET
Zoey, I think it's really sweet that you still come to me for permission. You're classy, 
and you're old-fashioned.

ZOEY
So, it's okay?

BARTLET
Not in a million years.

ZOEY
Dad...

BARTLET 
Listen. Sit down for a second.

They sit down on a bench out on the portico.

BARTLET
When you were little, like two, I really wanted you to like me and I wan't sure you did. 
With Liz and Ellie, my act just worked and with you I had to try harder. 

ZOEY
Dad, what's wrong?

BARTLET
I did something a few months ago and I'm sure I was right and I'd do it again but it's 
hard to live with. This is ridiculous. You're freezing. Come inside.

ZOEY
Dad, no...

BARTLET
Come inside.

They enter THE OVAL OFFICE where Leo is sitting in a chair waiting.

LEO
Good evening, Mr. President. Zoey.

ZOEY
Hi, Mr. McGarry. Dad...

BARTLET
You know, why don't you go back to the Residence and make sure your mom hasn't killed 
your boyfriend. Yeah, he can come to Manchester. He's going to have more Secret Service 
stuff to do, and he's going to have to sleep in the root cellar which, like your bedroom 
door, will be guarded round the clock by two U.S. Marshals.

ZOEY
Okay. [leaves]

LEO
She looks great.

BARTLET
I almost told her. I've been feeling it a little lately. I've been exorcising my guilt 
by having Josh crowbar infant mortality money into the HHS budget on December 23 at 8:00.

LEO
For me, he's trying to get Arabs and Israelis to like each other.

BARTLET
How's it going?

LEO
It's a challenge.

BARTLET
Yeah.

LEO
Danny Concannon knows a guy who couldn't get to his locker.

BARTLET
Yeah. We'll figure it out.

LEO
Yeah.

BARTLET
Stanley thought it was weird that I took the SAT's again, too.

LEO
It is.

BARTLET
You don't think it's possible that the remaining answer was important?

LEO
No.

BARTLET
Really?

LEO
Yeah.

BARTLET
How the hell would you know? You got 1400.

LEO
True.

There's a knock on the door.

CHARLIE
Sir?

BARTLET
Yeah, send them in.

Toby and Will enter the Oval Office.

TOBY
Good evening, Mr. President.

BARTLET
Yeah. Listen, my reasons for not wanting to talk about campaign reform at the 
Inauguration are simple. It's not a legislative speech and when we cite issues, 
it should be the ones that affect people's lives. You agree?

TOBY
Yes.

BARTLET
Anything else?

Toby turns to Will to see if he'll say anything.

TOBY
No, sir. In his defense, he caught the bad note. He came to me. He made it important.

LEO
Yeah.

TOBY
He wasn't distracted bt the fact that his office was filled with bicycles.

WILL
Excuse me?

TOBY
Yeah.

WILL
You said that I caught the bad note?

TOBY
Yeah, that was planted there to see how well you'd do telling truth to power.

BARTLET 
Not very well so far.

WILL
I have no difficulty telling, sir, telling truth to power.

BARTLET
Okay, except when I asked you to come into the Oval Office you said, "No, no, no. 
No, no, no, no."

WILL
And I was firm in my convictions.

BARTLET
And you called me Mr. Justice.

LEO
Can we get back to why you think...?

WILL
Because, yes, you do want to talk about issues that affect people. This is the issue 
that affects everyone and you can't get elected three times and you can't raise the 
subject halfway throught a term.

LEO
Maybe, but I'm not convinced and that's 'caused you haven't convinced me. This isn't 
Tillman at the Stanford Club or the California 47th. This is big-boy school, Mr. Bailey. 
You understand?

WILL
Yes, sir. I do.

LEO
All right. It's Christmas. You've probably got someplace to go.

TOBY
Thank you, Mr. President.

Toby exits the Oval Office to the HALLWAY. Josh is waiting for him.

JOSH
I just need to tell you this. Come here. 

Josh walks to THE ROOSEVELT ROOM, but people are in there, so he turns around.

JOSH
Sorry. come here.

TOBY
Josh...

JOSH
Come here.

They go inside THE MURAL ROOM.

JOSH
All right, it was desperation. It wasn't out of a desire to do evil. He had a young 
family and he barely spoke the language. He went to jail. He went to jail and you went 
to school, and it was all a half century ago. Look what he did in two generations. 
What room did you just walk out of?

TOBY
I appreciate that that's what you think. Do I get to think what I think?

JOSH
No, you don't, 'cause you don't know what I know.

TOBY
What?

JOSH
That I would give anything to have a father who was a felon, or a sister with a past. 
That's it.

Josh exits and is walking past Leo's office when Leo calls him out.

LEO
Josh! I was just coming to see you. You're off the hook with both of us. We'll go for 
infant mortality after the first.

JOSH
I don't mind. People are working on it. I have Donna here with me. We've got a whole 
night planned around it.

LEO
Yeah, I'm calling it off, and I hooked Donna up with a news helicopter that's landing 
about two miles from the inn she's going to. 

JOSH
Donna left?

LEO
Yeah. Oh, forget the Nativity. We'll get 'em next time.

JOSH
Yes, sir.

CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

JULIE
You know, I think it might make it easier if you knew some of the history. You shouldn't 
have to ask when Anastasia was killed.

TOBY
Oh, my God. I know when Anastasia was killed. I know about that candy store in 
Brownsville. I know about Louie Amberg. I know about the Half Moon Hotel sixth story 
window, Coney Island!

JULIE
Can I tell you? Doug Schultz ain't never heard of me, Toby. My crew... It only happened 
to terrible people. Terrible people! Murders themselves.

TOBY
Pa, please.

JULIE
Loan sharks, heroin dealers. These were our neighborhoods.

TOBY
We don't have to do this all in one night.

JULIE
What?

TOBY
It's getting late. Stay on my couch. You're getting out in the morning.

JULIE
I should... I should stay tonight with you?

TOBY
You should stay tonight with me.

JULIE
Andrea's healthy?

TOBY
Very healthy.

JULIE
Got some names picked out?

They walk out to the HALLWAY.

TOBY
No, not yet.

WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] 
"O holy night, The stars are brightly shining..."

JULIE
Toby, uh... Who is that that's been singing here all day?

TOBY
The Whiffenpoofs. It's a group called the Wiffenpoofs. They're from Yale. They came 
to do a series of concerts and the snow...

JULIE
Yeah. Did you say "Whiffenpofs"?

TOBY
Whiffenpoofs. I'm surprised you haven't heard of them. You used to like Cole Porter 
a lot.

JULIE
And they're singing right now in this building?

TOBY
Yeah, right there.

CUT TO: INT. NORTHWEST LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
The Whiffenpoofs are standing in the lobby singing with White House staffers standing 
around listening. Toby and his father come in to listen to them sing. 

WHIFFENPOOFS
"A thrill of hope, 
The weary world rejoices, 
For yonder breaks, 
The new and glorious dawn, 
Fall on your knees, 
Oh, hear the angels voices, 
O, night divine..."

JULIE
Ich hub uuz deh gebracht.

TOBY
What?

JULIE
I'm having the strongest memory.

WHIFFENPOOFS
"When Christ was born..."

CUT TO: INT: JOSH'S BULLLPEN AREA - NIGHT
Josh is walking when Leo calls him. The Whiffenpoofs can be heard singing in the 
background.

WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] 
"O night, divine..."

LEO
Josh. Was I insensitive before about telling you Donna was gone?

JOSH
No. What do you mean?

LEO
I don't know. I thought...

JOSH
It's fine. Of course it's fine. It's great. I was feeling guilty, but now, this... 
is good. This, this... is better than good. It's the way it should be.

LEO
Oh, get it together, would you please? 

JOSH
I'm trying.

LEO
Okay. There's something we have to talk about.

WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] 
"It is the night of our Dear Saviour's birth..."

JOSH
You'll tell me when you need to.

WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] 
"Long lay the world in sin and error pining..."

LEO
It's four years later and there are things that are worse and things that are exactly 
the same. Where do you start?

JOSH
By fixing a roof. I'm staying on the phones. You want to stay with me?

LEO
Yeah.

WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] 
For yonder breaks 
The new and glorious dawn..."

CUT TO: INT. PRESS AREA - NIGHT
Danny is typing on his computer.

WHIFFENPOOFS [VO] 
"Fall on your knees 
O, hear the angel voices..."

CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - NIGHT
C.J. is sitting at her desk writing.

WHIFFENPOOFS [VO] 
"O, night divine O, night..."

CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
Charlie walks past. Then Zoey and Jean Paul walk by. We follow them past Will working 
in his OFFICE. The posters of Sam's campaign are still up to the windows.

WHIFFENPOOFS [VO] 
"When Christ was born 
O, night divine 
O, night 
O, night divine..."

CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT
Bartlet is standing in front of the window looking out at the snow falling.

WHIFFENPOOFS [VO] 
"Fall o' your knees 
O, hear the angels voices..."

CUT TO: INT: LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Leo is sitting at his desk on the phone. Josh is dialing a number on his cellphone 
when he looks through the window and see's Toby standing with his father.

WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] 
"O, night divine 
O, night when Christ was born o, night divine..."

CUT TO: INT. NORTHWEST LOBBY - NIGHT
Toby, his father, and other stafers are listening to the Whiffenpoofs sing.

WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] 
O, holy night 
O, night divine."

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK
THE END
* * *

The West Wing and all its characters are a property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells 
Production, Warner Brothers Television and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. 

Episode 4.11 -- "Holy Night" 
Original Air Date: December 11, 2002, 9:00 PM EST 

Transcript by: ck1czar
January 9, 2002