THE WEST WING "WAR CRIMES" TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN STORY BY: ALLISON ABNER DIRECTED BY: ALEX GRAVES TEASER FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM - DAY SUNDAY From T.V. screens to cameras to more T.V. screens, we follow several reporters as they head inside to take their seats. From a nearby television, we hear sounds from a football game. A briefing is about to start. And as the Press Corps takes its respective seating, C.J. enters and goes behind the podium. She speaks while getting settled. C.J. Okay. CHRIS C.J., do we know what kind of gun it was? C.J. Which gun? CHRIS The first gun. C.J. It was a .38 pistol. Okay, here are a few confirmations and a few more details. The shooting took place approximately 15 minutes into the 9:00 service at United Baptist Church in Abilene, Texas. [notices a familiar man seated in the middle row to her left] Will Sawyer, is that you? WILL SAWYER Yes. C.J. You back in the country? WILL Yeah. C.J. You working for the San Francisco Chronicle now? WILL No. C.J. Then you want to get your ass out of their chair? Laughter. WILL SAWYER stands up. WILL There's assigned seating? C.J. You see the little brass plaques with the names of media outlets on the front of the seats? WILL I thought that meant they made a generous contribution. C.J. Find a seat in back. Will does, and C.J. continues. C.J. Fifteen minutes into the service, Daryl Bechtell, B-E-C-H-T-E-L-L, walked into the sanctuary. Reports indicate he was looking for his estranged wife. He fired off a round -- that was from the .38 -- missing his wife and hitting Harold Winter in the left shoulder. Mr. Winter is 65 and currently undergoing surgery at Abilene Regional Medical Center. Carol quietly enters the room. C.J. [cont.] Mr. Bechtell fired off anywhere between two and four more rounds at that point -- reports differ -- as the crowd began to scatter. That's when Ron Cahrl pulled a nine millimeter Glock from under his suit coat and fired off three rounds in the direction of Mr. Bechtell. It's unclear which of those rounds struck Melissa Markey. STEVE Confirmation on her age? C.J. She's be nine years old tomorrow. STEVE Can you speak to what either Daryl Bechtell or Ron Cahrl might be charged with? C.J. No. The Abilene Sherrif's Office will address that. I can tell you that Mr. Bechtell's gun was registered and that Ron Cahrl had a license to carry a concealed weapon. ARTHUR Doesn't Texas law prohibit carrying a weapon in a church or synagogue? C.J. Again, I'll have the Sheriff's Office speak to that, but I'll tell you that it only prohibits it if the church or synagogue posts such a prohibition in plain sight. Carol takes this time to give C.J. a note. REPORTERS C.J.! C.J. Hang on. [reads the note] Well... Melissa Markey died. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - DAY Sam and Donna are standing in front of the doors. SAM If you don't understand a question, say so. They'll repeat it. Or they'll rephrase it. DONNA Yeah. SAM There's nothing wrong with not understanding the question. DONNA Right. SAM There's nothing wrong with saying 'I don't recall.' DONNA I appreciate this. SAM Yeah. Don't you want to go to this with Josh? DONNA He's pissed at me. SAM No, he's not. DONNA He's... Yeah, he is. SAM He didn't say anything. DONNA He doesn't say anything. SAM All right. DONNA Anyway, I appreciate this. SAM [as he sees Charlie passing by] Charlie, hang on a second. [to Donna] You're going to be sitting in a room. It's going to feel like you did something wrong. But guess what? DONNA What? SAM You didn't! So, you got a cab up front? DONNA Yeah. SAM Come back when it's over? DONNA Thanks. [leaves] Sam follows Charlie. CHARLIE You make a pick? SAM Oakland over Dallas! CHARLIE Okay. SAM It's a lock. CHARLIE Okay. SAM Everybody's staying away 'cause they want to keep Oakland down the road. But if you're like me, you're not as impressed with the pre-season hype. You pick the Raiders at home, and you bank on them not being a prohibitive favorite going into the playoffs. CHARLIE Okay. SAM You think I should take Tennessee over Detroit? CHARLIE I didn't say that. SAM You said it with your eyes. CHARLIE Okay. SAM I'll take Tennessee over Detroit. CHARLIE I'm writing it down. SAM Write it down. Wait. No. Give me Oakland over Dallas. CHARLIE Okay. They stop in front of the opposite White House entrance. SAM Except make it New Orleans over Atlanta. CHARLIE The first games are about to start. SAM New Orleans over Atlanta! CHARLIE I'm writing it down. SAM Write it down. [leaves] The doors open. Bartlet and Abbey walk inside. CHARLIE Good afternoon. ABBEY Hi, Charlie. CHARLIE How was church? BARTLET [mumbles] It sucked. ABBEY It was fine. [to Bartlet] Stop it! BARTLET It sucked! ABBEY [sighs] You're talking about church. BARTLET Oh, like I'm not already going to hell. CHARLIE [follows them a pace behind] What was the problem? ABBEY He feels the homily lacked penache. BARTLET It did lack penache. ABBEY It was a perfectly lovely homily on Ephesians 5:21. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." BARTLET Yeah. She's skipping over the part that says, "Wives, be subject to your husbands as to the Lord, for a husband is the head of a wife as Christ is the head of the church." ABBEY I do skip over that part. BARTLET Why? ABBEY Because it's stupid! They walk in THE OVAL OFFICE. BARTLET Okay. ABBEY "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by washing of water with the word that he might present the Church to himself in..." something. BARTLET [behind his desk, puts on glasses] "In splendor." And I have no problem with Ephesians. And any time you want me to cleanse you with the washing of water, you know I'm up for it. ABBEY Then what is your problem? BARTLET Hackery! Abbey waves her arms at him and walks out to the PORTICO. Bartlet follows. BARTLET This guy was a hack! He had a captive audience! And the way I know that is that I tried to tunnel out of there several times. He had an audience and he didn't know what to do with it. ABBEY You want him to sing "Volare?" BARTLET Couldn't have hurt. Words... ABBEY Oh, God, no. BARTLET Words, when spoken out loud for the sake of performance, are music. They have rhythm, and pitch, and timbre, and volume. These are the properties of music, and music has the ability to find us and move us, and lift us up in ways that literal meanings can't. Do you see? ABBEY You are an oratorical snob. BARTLET Yes, I am. And God loves me for it. They stop and face each other. ABBEY You said he was sending you to hell. BARTLET For other stuff, not for this. You can't just trod out Ephesians, which he blew, by the way, it has nothing with husbands and wives, it's all of us. Saint Paul begins the passage: "Be subject to one another out of reverence to Christ." [passionately] "Be subject to one another." In this day and age of 24-hour cable crap, devoted to feeding the voyeuristic gluttony of the American public, hooked on a bad soap opera that's passing itself off as important, don't you think you might be able to find some relevance in verse 21? How do end the cycle? Be subject to one another! ABBEY So... This is about you. BARTLET No, it's not about me! Well, yes, it is about me, but tomorrow it'll be about somebody else. We'll watch Larry King and see who. [shouts] All hacks, off the stage! Right now! That's a national security order. ABBEY I'm going to the Residence. I'm taking a bath; I'm turning on Sinatra. BARTLET How does Mrs. Sinatra feel about that? ABBEY Peace be with you. [turns to leave] C.J. comes outside behind Bartlet. BARTLET [sings] You make me egg foo yung... C.J. Good morning, Mr. President. BARTLET [turns to her, sings] You make me feel there are songs to be sung... ABBEY [to C.J.] He's feisty. Please, don't ask him about church. C.J. [quietly] No, I won't. I'm sorry, Mr. President, Melissa Markey died. BARTLET [smile fades away] Yeah, okay. Abbey approaches him. BARTLET Ah, damn. Charlie, can I see Leo? CHARLIE Yes, sir. ABBEY She would have lost too much blood at the scene, Jed. She didn't have a chance. BARTLET Yeah. ABBEY All right... I'll be over in the Residence. I've got to see Babish this afternoon. [pats him on the shoulder and leaves] BARTLET Okay. [walks with C.J. quietly] When do you think I should go in there? C.J. I'd wait a couple of hours till we hear some more facts. BARTLET You'll talk to the sheriff's office and... C.J. Yeah. BARTLET I guess the DA. C.J. Yeah, but you don't want to walk too far into that. BARTLET Yeah. Leo is waiting by the entrance to Oval Office. LEO Good morning. BARTLET You heard? LEO Yeah. BARTLET C.J. thinks I should wait a few hours. LEO I would. BARTLET Yeah. C.J. Thank you, Mr. President. [walks off] BARTLET Be subject to one another, Leo. What can I do to be of subject to you? LEO I'm fine. BARTLET Yeah? LEO I've got Margaret. BARTLET Okay. They walk back in THE OVAL OFFICE. Bartlet sits behind his desk. Leo sits hear him. LEO I think you should send Hoynes to Texas. BARTLET He's not going to want to do it. LEO What do you care? BARTLET What are you doing today? LEO I'm meeting with Adamley. BARTLET What about? LEO He wants to talk to me about the War Crimes Tribunal. BARTLET Keep me out of it, all right? LEO Yeah. BARTLET You think I should send Hoynes to Texas? LEO Yeah. BARTLET All right, get him over here. LEO Now? BARTLET Yeah. LEO [stands] Thank you, Mr. President. CUT TO: EXT. THE HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE BUILDING - DAY CLIFF [VO] This proceeding is known as a deposition. The person transcribing a deposition is a House reporter and although she's not a notary public you were just sworn in by a notary public and were placed under oath. Do you understand? CUT TO: INT. A ROOM IN THE BUILDING - CONTINUOUS A long table is occupied by many people, Donna and Cliff sit opposite each other. DONNA Yes. CLIFF [VO] Because you were placed under oath, your testimony here today has the same force and effect as if you were testifying before the committee in a courtroom. Do you understand? DONNA Yes. CLIFF This committee has been granted authorization pursuant to House Resolution 173, my name is Clifford Calley. I'm Majority Counsel for the House Government Oversight and Reform Committee. Would you state your full name for the record, please. DONNA Donnatella Moss. D-o-n-n-a-t-e-l-l-a M-o-s-s. CLIFF At this point I'd like the record to indicate that the Majority Counsel has met the witness socially on several occasions, and without objection, I'd like to proceed. WOMAN No objection. CLIFF Counsel? COUNSEL No objection. CLIFF I'd also like to express the Committee appreciation to the witness appearing on a Sunday. Ms. Moss, are you here voluntarily or as a result of a subpoena? DONNA A subpoena. CLIFF No need to thank me. [beat] Donna, this is going to be easy, you can laugh. Were you recently asked to help organize documents pursuant to this Committee current investigation? DONNA Yes. CLIFF Would you describe how that works? DONNA On instructions from Joshua Lyman and the White House Counsel's office, I took over a storage room at the OEOB and began sorting through any interoffice or interdepartmental documents, both from the campaign and from the West Wing. CLIFF And for the record, the campaign you're referring to is... DONNA Bartlet for America. CLIFF How'd you guys do? DONNA [very seriously] We won. CLIFF Okay. [beat] My colleagues are going to ask you some questions. Then we'll get back to me and finish up. DONNA Okay. MAN Ms. Moss? Do you keep a photo album? DONNA No. MAN Okay. Do you keep... DONNA I'm sorry. Uh... I keep photographs, I don't have them in an album. MAN Okay. Do you keep a scrapbook? DONNA No. MAN Do you keep letters, notes, or other correspondence you receive from people? DONNA Sometimes a birthday card or a letter from my father. MAN Do you keep a diary? DONNA No. MAN Okay. Do you receive gifts from anyone who's currently... CLIFF I'm sorry, hang on. [to the transcriber] Would you read that back? TRANSCRIBER "Question: Do you keep a diary? Answer: No. Question: Okay. Do you receive gifts from..." CLIFF [looks at Donna] Okay. Okay, go ahead. MAN Do you receive gifts from anyone who's currently working at the White House? FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY Thunder rumbles. It already started to rain. C.J. is not in her office. Will Sawyer is. He is sitting behind C.J.'s desk and is playing with some of her things. Seconds later, C.J. enters and sees him. C.J. How are you doing? WILL Good. C.J. You're sitting in my chair. WILL It didn't have a plaque on it. C.J. [chuckles] Oh, I've missed you. WILL Yeah. [stands and finds another chair across C.J.'s desk] C.J. Well, you've been gone three weeks. WILL I've been gone two and a half years. C.J. Really? WILL Yes. C.J. So what happened? I thought you were our man in Myanmar. WILL I got kicked out of Myanmar. C.J. Well, is there a third world country you haven't been kicked out of? WILL Hey, I've been kicked out of plenty of industrialized nations, too. C.J. Why'd they kick you out? WILL Well, first of all, they didn't kick me out exactly. In fact, they love me in Myanmar. C.J. What happened? WILL They put a bounty on my head. [C.J. laughs.] It's not funny. The Myanmarese government is built on narcotics trafficking. Myanmar, Thailand, Laos. I was this close to the story. C.J. Yeah? WILL I had interviews with Pau Jiasheng, Pau Yujiung, Li Zuru. I was tight with narco-barons. C.J. Until? WILL The Myanmarese army... C.J. Put a bounty on your head. WILL Yeah. C.J. How'd you know? WILL The State Department came and got me. C.J. Oh. That had to be embarrassing in front of your narco-baron friends. WILL Anyway... I'm assigned to the White House Press Corps until they can find me, you know, a reporting job. C.J. No. No offense taken. WILL Thanks. C.J. Why did you want to see me? WILL I have a quote if you want to comment. C.J. What is it? WILL Toby Ziegler says, "If the President wins reelection, it will be on the Vice President's coattails." C.J. "If the President wins reelection, it will be on the Vice President's coattails"? WILL [consults his notepad] I think that's, uh... yeah. C.J. He said this to you? WILL No. C.J. Where'd you get it? WILL The person he said it to. C.J. Will, do me a favor. Give me a little time to check it out, would you? WILL Yeah. [stands] C.J. You've been gone two and a half years? WILL Yeah. C.J. Seemed like less than that. WILL People lose all track of time and space when I'm not around. C.J. Yeah. Will takes his jacket and leaves. Out in the hallway, he looks left, right, and walks off. SAM [VO] It's 30 billion in School Modernization Bonds. CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY Sam is meeting with Congressional Aide TERRY BECKWITH. Ginger walks in with a tray and two coffee mugs. SAM Thanks, Ginger. Thank you. GINGER Sure. Ginger puts down the tray on the table and exits. SAM It's 30 billion in School Modernization Bonds. TERRY BECKWITH Interest-free? SAM Interest-free for school districts. We're estimating it will help build and modernize 7,000 schools nationwide. There's another 1.5 billion for urgent repairs targeted to high-need districts. TERRY Like roof repairs? SAM Roof repairs, heating and cooling systems, electrical wiring. The point is we think we need the Congressman's vote to get it out of the full Appropriations Committee and on the floor. TERRY He'll be with it. SAM That's what I thought. TERRY He's just looking for the President's support on a bill that he'll be sponsoring. SAM What's it called? TERRY It's called the "Legal Tender Modernization Act." SAM Which provides for? TERRY The elimination of the penny. SAM I'm sorry? TERRY It would permanently halt production of the penny. SAM Why? TERRY I'm glad you asked. SAM Yeah. TERRY Last year, the U.S. Mint cut 14 billion pennies and shipped them off to the Federal Reserve, which dumped them in our laps. They're worthless. SAM Well, they're actually worth one cent. TERRY The dollar has the buying power today that the quarter had 30 years ago. The penny's buying power shrunk to nothing. SAM Well, that's not true. You can get yourself a gumball. TERRY No, you can't. They cost a nickel. SAM Really? TERRY [sighs] I'm gonna need to give the Congressman a good reason why the White House won't support the bill if they won't support the bill. SAM Oh, don't make me give you a good reason. TERRY You want your $30 billion in school repairs? SAM Well, we're already well on our way with 140 million pennies. TERRY Sam... SAM I'll get you a good reason. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet is at his desk looking at a piece of paper. He calls. BARTLET Charlie! Charlie opens the door and walks in. CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET You took Indianapolis? CHARLIE Yes, sir. They continue, but we follow a MOVING SHOT out into the Outer Oval Office. The Vice President arrives, and Nancy takes his coat. BARTLET [OS] You didn't want to take Kansas City over Arizona? CHARLIE [OS] No, sir. BARTLET [OS] Kansas City's got three players out of Notre Dame. CHARLIE [OS] Yes, sir. BARTLET [OS] You always go with the team who's got the most players out of Notre Dame. CHARLIE [OS] That's a heck of a system, sir. BARTLET [OS] What's your system? CHARLIE [OS] I compare the team's record to the record of its opponent. BARTLET [OS] That's a little simplistic, isn't it? CHARLIE [OS] Yes, sir. After she hangs the coat, Nancy stands by the door. NANCY Excuse me, Mr. President? BARTLET Yeah? NANCY The Vice President. BARTLET Thank you. Charlie takes his leave. Bartlet and Hoynes meet and shake hands. HOYNES Hey, Charlie. CHARLIE Good afternoon, sir. BARTLET Hey, John. HOYNES Good afternoon, sir. BARTLET Do you know this church? HOYNES No. BARTLET The United Baptists Church in Abilene? HOYNES No. BARTLET Listen, you feel like having a beer with me? HOYNES No, I'm fine. BARTLET On Sundays, when we got back from church, my father would let my brother and me split a beer. It got to be a habit. HOYNES You mind if I split some water with you? BARTLET Nancy? [to Hoynes] I need you to go to Texas, John. [Nancy walks up.] Nancy, could I get a cold beer and some ice water? NANCY Yes, sir. BARTLET And close the door please. [sits] Nancy does what she was told. HOYNES You want to send me to Texas? BARTLET It's what Texans do. [beat] You know, a decade ago, we passed a few national gun control laws, and the gun lobby turned its back on Congress and started focusing on the states. [Hoynes sits] The NRA systematically worked the legislatures to weaken conceal-and-carry laws, the effect of which is to increase gun sales and pad its own membership. HOYNES Well, I don't necessarily agree with that, but... BARTLET The National Conference on State Legislatures is meeting this weekend at the Convention Center in San Antonio. HOYNES And you want me to go to Texas and speak for you. BARTLET Yeah. HOYNES 'Cause that's what Texans do. BARTLET [pause] It's also what Vice Presidents do.Nancy comes in and serves them beer and water. BARTLET Thank you, Nancy. HOYNES Thank you, Nancy. CUT TO: INT. NORTHWEST LOBBY - DAY GENERAL ALAN ADAMLEY is patiently waiting before Leo walks up. LEO Alan. ADAMLEY Hey! They exchange big smiles as they shake hands. LEO Come on back. Into the HALLWAY they go and head for Leo's Office. ADAMLEY Thanks for taking the time. LEO No, no. [beat] So how did it go? ADAMLEY It was a good trip. I met with, uh, Hassan, and I met with the Aviation Prince. LEO You know what we need in this country? ADAMLEY An Aviation Prince. LEO That's right. ADAMLEY Well, let me tell you something. Sultan Bin Abu Azir ain't what he used to be. Last time I was in Kuwait, he gave me a gold inlay Gadara sword, originated from the, uh, Binhalmar tribe. LEO What'd you get this time? ADAMLEY Nothing. LEO You want to go down the Situation Room, and blow them off the face of the earth? ADAMLEY Yeah. LEO [smiles] So... ADAMLEY The, uh, NSC Communications Office cabled me a draft of the President's radio address for next weekend. LEO Alan, it's a... ADAMLEY [reads from a file] "At the close of the last World War, our nation was instrumental in the creation of both the United Nations and the Nuremberg War Crimes Tribunal. Now, at the dawn of the millennium, we cannot betray that tradition of moral leadership." He's made up his mind. LEO It's an early draft. It's not a big thing. ADAMLEY Well, I know that Hutchison and Berryhill are for it, but to me, to Fitzwallace, the Pentagon, the House and Senate Armed Services, and the House and Senate Foreign Relations, it's a thing of catastrophic proportions. LEO Let's go inside and talk. CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY Amidst the bright Communications Bullpen, Toby's office is a lot darker. With his feet up, Toby is sitting on his couch reading a newspaper. C.J. walks in the bullpen and puts a file on a desk. She was just about to leave when she sees Toby. She walks inside. Toby becomes flustered, a bit nervous. C.J. Hey. TOBY I-I-I'm not here. C.J. I called you at home. I had you paged. TOBY Yeah. C.J. I didn't know you were here. TOBY [covers his face with the newspaper] I'm not. C.J. I think the jig is up. TOBY Clearly, I'm here, but I-I-I'm not open for business. I heard the President was meeting with Hoynes, so I-I-I wanted to see how-how it goes. C.J. Listen... TOBY And I see you picked Chicago over Cincinnati so let me explain to you why your money's gonna be in my pocket. C.J. If the President wins reelection, it's gonna be on the Vice President's coattails? TOBY [pause] You want to know what's weird? I-I-I just said... that exact same thing a couple of days ago. C.J. I know. You know how I know? Will Sawyer just told me. TOBY Will Sawyer's in Myanmar. C.J. He got kicked out of Myanmar. He's in the room now. TOBY C.J., I said it... I said it at that W.A. meeting. I said it a the end of the meeting. We were talking about areas where Hoynes is polling stronger than... It was... [awkward chuckle] I said to our own... [pauses and sighs] Do I have a little time? C.J. A little. TOBY Thank you. C.J. You're here now? TOBY [chuckling] Yeah. When C.J. leaves, Toby calls. TOBY Ginger? She walks up. TOBY [stands] I want you to page every junior staffer and senior assistant who works in the West Wing, every single one. I want them to assemble downstairs in the mess in two hours. GINGER What if...? TOBY If they can't be here in two hours, then they don't need to come in tomorrow morning. CUT TO: EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - DONNA'S APARTMENT STOOP - DAY The thunder rumbles lightly. It's raining hard, and passersby have their umbrellas up. A black car is parked in front of Donna's apartment, and someone is sitting on her stoop. From up the street, Donna walks up slowly and sees him. It's Cliff. He's been waiting for her to come home. DONNA Hey. CLIFF How you doing? DONNA How'd you get here before me? CLIFF I drove. DONNA Should you be here? CLIFF No. DONNA Then what...? CLIFF I need to know why you lied before. DONNA When? CLIFF Donna... DONNA I didn't lie. CLIFF I saw your diary. When I was over that night. You keep a diary. Why'd you say you didn't? DONNA I don't keep a diary. CLIFF I saw it. DONNA You didn't 'cause there is no diary. CLIFF Donna. [stands] It's me and you. Now what's in it that you had to lie to the Committee? DONNA It's me and you? You're lead counsel for the Committee investigating me, my friends, my boss, and the President of the United States. CLIFF That's right. DONNA And I thought you were a little bit smarmy with your "Donna, it's okay. You can laugh. You're just..." Was that charm? CLIFF Tell me what... DONNA There is no diary. Donna starts up the stoop. Cliff interrupts. CLIFF 18 U.S.C., 1-0-0-1. Lying to Congress: 10,000 dollars and not more than five years in prison. DONNA Cliff... CLIFF 18 U.S.C., 1-5-0-5. Obstruction of proceedings before departments, agencies, and committees: Not more than five years. Two U.S.C., 192. Contempt of Congress: A thousand dollars and imprisonment in a common jail for not more than 12 months. It was a perfectly innocent mistake. Now let me talk to your lawyer and help you walk this back. DONNA Just out of curiosity, what would you say? [beat] That you thought you saw a diary while you were hunting around for your boxer shorts? [pause] You shouldn't be here. They part ways. Donna runs up her stoop and goes inside her apartment. She shuts her umbrella and the door as well. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN - DAY Josh is leaning by Sam's doorway. He looks at his watch. Sam is sitting by a desk in the bullpen. JOSH Why? SAM Why? JOSH Yes. SAM Because this country is populated with unbalanced people. Many of whom find their way to Washington. As if the continent funnels them into this one spot. JOSH He wants to abolish the penny? SAM He doesn't want to abolish it, as much as he wants to give his boss a reason why we can't. JOSH Well... it's stupid. SAM Yeah, but the thing is it isn't really. JOSH Really? SAM It turns out the majority of pennies don't circulate. They go in jars and sock drawers. Two-thirds of the pennies produced in the last 30 years have dropped out of circulation. JOSH You've been reading about this? SAM It's interesting. JOSH No, it's not. SAM [stands] The Mint gets letters with pennies taped on notebook paper. Letters from citizens who found the pennies on the street and mailed them back to the Treasury to help pay down the debt. JOSH It's almost hard to believe that plan hasn't worked. SAM It's also bad for the environment. Production requires the mining of millions of tons of copper and zinc each year. JOSH Zinc? SAM In 1982, they changed the composition to 97.5% zinc and only 2.5% copper. JOSH Sam? SAM I'm turning into one of the funnel people. JOSH Yeah. SAM [pause] Donna thinks you're still pissed at her. JOSH I'm not. I wasn't before. When did she tell you that? SAM Before she left. [sits] JOSH You've heard from her? SAM No. JOSH She should be done by now. SAM Here's a riddle. What is the most ubiquitous man-made object in America that does not interact with any mechanism or machine? JOSH The penny? SAM Then penny. You can't even throw it in a tollbooth. Well, except for Illinois. JOSH Why can you use it in Illinois? SAM That's an interesting question. JOSH No, it's not. [walks off] CUT TO: INT. THE PRESS ROOM - DAY C.J. finds Will in the room. C.J. Hey. WILL Hey. C.J. I'm gonna have something for you soon. Toby's talking to some people. WILL Okay. C.J. Hey, are you a king? WILL No. C.J. Somebody said you were hanging out with some tribe, and they made you a king. WILL I'm a god. C.J. Oh. WILL I'm the only white man to ever witness the sacrificial rites of the Bau tribe of Fiji. I was almost a victim myself, until they made me The Supporter of the World. C.J. How'd you swing that? WILL Using my Palm Pilot, I convinced the Bau I had the power to make the gods' writing appear at will, and more significantly, predict the next day's weather. C.J. So you're a god? WILL I'm the god of Good Harvest and the Land of the Dead. C.J. I gotta go there and bring my laptop. It quacks when I have e-mail. WILL No, you're too tall. C.J. What would happen? WILL They would paint your face and [points] other body parts black [C.J. looks] so as to resemble a warrior ornamented for feast or combat. Then you would be garroted by a length of boar tripe. C.J. Yeah. No, good safety tip. WILL Alan Adamley here? C.J. Yeah. WILL Why? C.J. He's meeting with Leo McGarry. WILL Why? C.J. I don't know. Listen, you made a joke before. WILL Yeah. C.J. About being assigned to the White House until you could get a real reporting job. WILL Yeah. C.J. Was it a joke? WILL Yeah. C.J. Okay. I'll have something for you on the other thing soon. WILL Thanks. C.J. walks off. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet and Hoynes are still conversing. Between them is the Seal on the carpet. HOYNES That's not true. BARTLET John... HOYNES It is not true, Mr. President. Twenty-nine states have "shall issue" laws. BARTLET And if you look at the state of New Jersey, which has a "may issue" law-if you look at changing that one word... HOYNES Look, I'm not saying... BARTLET Changing that one word means law enforcement can decide who gets a concealed weapon and when and where they can carry it. Texas has a "may issue" law in front of a legislature right now, and you going down there... HOYNES Me going down there is suicide, sir, and you know it. BARTLET It's counter-scheduling. You go in front of an unfriendly audience. You tell them something they don't want to hear-it shows you have courage. HOYNES So the editor of The New York Times will think I have courage, while the people who decide elections... BARTLET You're a hero in Texas. HOYNES I was a hero in Texas. BARTLET Texans don't like that you have the courage of your convictions? HOYNES They're not my convictions. They're yours. BARTLET [beat] Oh, yeah. I forgot. Bartlet stands and paces. Hoynes sighs and clears his throat. He stands as well. HOYNES Mr. President, we're not gonna get anywhere by treating gun owners like psychopaths, and particularly in the South, where guns are a tradition and a heritage that's passed on from father to son. You can't... BARTLET That's not good enough. HOYNES Sir? BARTLET A tradition that's passed on from father to son? We tamed the frontier, John. We did that already. HOYNES The NRA is gonna say you're taking advantage of the shooting in Abilene. That you like it when these things happen, 'cause it gives you a chance... BARTLET Let them stand in this room and say that. On this day. Let them stand in this room. I like it?! She was nine years old! Charlie knocks and walks in. He gives Bartlet a note then leaves. Bartlet reads it.] BARTLET Green Bay lost. [beat] She was nine years old. HOYNES You know, last month in Idaho, a man killed six members of his family, including his pregnant wife. And you know why the liberal intelligentsia didn't go crazy? Because he did it with an ax. [beat] You think we need ax control? BARTLET Well... that is an excellent point. I never saw it that way. HOYNES I'm playing devil's advocate. BARTLET Tighter ax control. HOYNES You come down on firearms, you come down on tobacco, you come down on alcohol, but you let Griffith run around talking about legalizing marijuana. BARTLET She didn't... HOYNES Sir? BARTLET You know what? Last year, gun deaths? 30,708. Alcohol deaths? 35,450. Tobacco deaths? 400,000. Marijuana deaths? Zero. This guy, the second shooter-Rambo? He's gonna get nothing. He's gonna get a parade. You know why? There was no sign posted in the church saying you can't carry a concealed weapon. [beat] I'm just playing devil's advocate. She was nine years old. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Leo and Adamley are now seated and talking. LEO Two things: One, technically, it's not just a court for war crimes. ADAMLEY Technically? LEO And two, the President hasn't made up his mind yet. ADAMLEY The UN has. LEO The UN made up its mind in 1948, when they recognized the crime of genocide. ADAMLEY Yes... LEO A crime so immense as to exceed the jurisdiction of any single court or government. Alan, systematic extermination of civilians, enslavement, torture, rape, forced pregnancy, terrorism-doesn't the world need a permanent standing body...? ADAMLEY National sovereignty is at stake. Americans are answerable to no one but their own government and their own laws. LEO Yeah. ADAMLEY And people need to be reminded that the UN is not a democratic organization. There's no input in its deliberations by any... LEO Come on. The court is designed with plenty of safeguards, to say nothing of if we don't subject ourselves to the treaty, it'll encourage other countries... ADAMLEY Sure. LEO And you don't think that'll undercut the UN's campaign against war crimes? Suddenly, Sam knocks and pokes his head in. SAM Excuse me. Excuse me, General. ADAMLEY Hey, Sam. SAM Margaret wasn't out here. LEO What do you need? SAM No, if you're in the middle of something, I can come back. ADAMLEY We're eliminating genocide. What are you doing? SAM Eliminating the penny. So I'll come back. LEO Yeah. ADAMLEY See you later. Sam closes the door. We follow him out to the HALLWAY where he meets Donna. She just got back and a bit in a hurry. They walk. SAM Hey. DONNA Hi. SAM How'd it go? DONNA It went fine. SAM Just background, right? DONNA It was fine. Is Josh in his office? SAM He's around someplace. DONNA Thanks. SAM [pause] Do you know the only thing pennies interact with are those coin-wrapping machines people buy to get rid of pennies, which kind of proves the point. DONNA What point? SAM I don't know. It went okay? DONNA Fine. They reach JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA just as Sam walks off. Donna stops. She looks toward her desk and sees her boss. With courage, she approaches. Josh immediately sees her. JOSH How'd it go? DONNA I really need to talk to you for a second. JOSH What happened? DONNA I need to just... Can we go in your office? They head for his office. Ginger passes by. GINGER Hey, how'd it go? DONNA Fine. When they both get in JOSH'S OFFICE, Josh closes the door. JOSH What happened? DONNA I was asked if I kept a diary, and I said no, only I do keep a diary. JOSH Why did you say you didn't? DONNA I don't know. JOSH What do you mean you don't know? DONNA Nothing in the diary is relevant. I'm the only one... JOSH Is there anyone else in the witness list who knows you keep a diary? DONNA Well, there's nobody who knows I keep a diary, except the thing is... Cliff saw it. JOSH [beat] What do you mean? DONNA Cliff came to me after the deposition and told me he saw the diary when he was in my apartment. Josh walks around behind his desk. He knows they're in trouble. DONNA I swear it wasn't premeditated. Nothing in it was material. Nothing in it was... JOSH You don't get to decide that! You don't get to decide what's material and what isn't, Donna! DONNA Please keep your voice down. JOSH This is how it happens. They got nothing on the President with MS. They're trolling, then you go in and hand them a... DONNA I know. JOSH You were subpoenaed! You were under oath! You answer the damn question! DONNA I screwed up. JOSH YOU THINK?! Donna, in shock, does not respond. Josh sits and touches his head. DONNA What should I do? JOSH Do nothing. Do absolutely nothing. Donna quietly leaves and closes the door. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. HALLWAYS OUTSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE MESS - DAY Toby walks down the hall. The chatter of staffers gets louder as he approaches the WHITE HOUSE MESS. When he walks in, Toby sees 30-40 staffers sitting and standing on one side of the room. Ginger is standing in the middle of the group near the back. STAFFER Shhhhh. The group quiets down. They all look pretty somber, like they're anticipating a severe tongue lashing. Toby sits down on the edge of a table, facing the group, and hesitates for a few moments before speaking. TOBY There's an old saying: "Those who speak, don't know; and those who know, don't speak." I don't know if that's true or not, but I know that by and large the press doesn't care who really knows what as long as they've got a quote. Last Friday, we had our Week Ahead meeting in the Roosevelt Room. Some of you were there, most of you weren't, but I'm talking to all of you now. Bruno Gianelli and I were leading a discussion about whether or not the President should stop in Kansas on his way back from the West Coast, and I remarked that the Vice President is polling better than the President right now in the Plains states... Sam walks into the room. He stands in the doorway, looking far more stern than Toby. TOBY [cont.] ...and that if the President is re-elected, it's gonna be on the Vice President's coattails. That remark made its way to a White House reporter... We're a group. [chuckles cheerlessly] We're a team. From the President and Leo on through, we're a team...We win together, we lose together, we celebrate and we mourn together. And defeats are softened and victories sweetened because we did them together...And if you don't like this team... then, there's the door... It's great to be in the know. It's great to have the scoop, to have the skinny, to be able to go to a reporter and say, "I know something you don't know." And so the press becomes your constituents and you sell out the team... So, an item will appear in the paper tomorrow, and it'll be embarrassing to me and embarrassing to the President. I'm not gonna have a witch hunt. I'm not gonna huff and puff. I'm not gonna take anyone's head off. I'm simply gonna say this: you're my guys. And I'm yours... and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. They all look pretty deflated and chastised. Toby stands up and walks out. Sam walks with Toby back upstairs. SAM That was unexpected. TOBY [sighs] Yeah... You're a good deputy, Sam. SAM What do you mean? TOBY That. SAM [chuckles] You won money on football today, didn't you? TOBY Yeah, but I mean it anyway. What can I do for you today? How can I help you out? SAM You can give me a reason why the White House can't support the elimination of the penny. TOBY This is the Legal Tender... Huckleberry Bill? SAM Modernization Bill, yeah. TOBY We can't support it 'cause it'll never get to the floor. SAM Why not? TOBY Where's the Speaker of the House from? They've reached the STAIRS up to the main level. SAM He's from Illinois, which, by the way, is the only state where you can put pennies in a toll machine. Why is that, do you suppose? They pause in the middle of the stairs. TOBY It's because... SAM It's 'cause Lincoln's from Illinois! And... so is the Speaker. TOBY Yes. SAM Well, that's a good reason. Well, it's a dumb reason, but it's good enough, right? TOBY Sure. They start walking up the stairs again. SAM Thank you. TOBY Yeah. SAM And thanks for the other thing. TOBY Yeah. CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY C.J. breezes into her office, passing Will who's perched on the edge of Carol's desk. C.J. Hi. WILL Hi. She walks behind her desk and starts shuffling papers around. He stands up and leans in the doorway. C.J. What do you need? WILL You called me. C.J. Yes, I did... Well, Toby made the remark in response to some new polling data. It was offhand. Obviously, he meant it as a joke. He regrets it. WILL Okay. C.J. He'll be happy to go on the record with you. WILL [shrugs] Nah, that's all right. C.J. What do you mean? WILL I don't need him. C.J. walks toward him having gathered up the papers she needs. They walk out into the HALLWAY. C.J. You're not gonna let Toby explain himself? WILL I'm not writing it. C.J. Why not? WILL [mildly indignant] It's not news. C.J. Really? WILL Yeah. C.J. [surprised and pleased] Okay. WILL I'll see you in there. He turns to walk away. She keeps walking, with a happy yet puzzled look on her face, but then she turns around. C.J. You weren't joking before, were you? WILL When? C.J. When you said... WILL No. C.J. [walks toward him a little bit] Why do you think the White House is a bad beat? WILL I don't like being a stenographer. And I don't like writing gossip. [walks toward her a little bit] I read a column last week where a lady bemoaned the decade of scandals she's had to cover, as if the news was to blame for the quality of journalism. I don't know if there's ever been a more important time to be good at what I do. Can you imagine how much I don't give a damn about what Toby said to a staffer? C.J. Yeah... All right. She walks away, but just before she opens the door to the Briefing Room, she turns around. C.J. You can sit anywhere you want. She goes into the Briefing Room. He walks back down the hallway, his hands in his pockets. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY The camera pans up on the globe by the desk. Adamley is sitting on the sofa. Leo is walking over to his chair. LEO 139 countries have signed. 35 have ratified. Once 60 ratify, that's the ball game. You want to be left out? [sits] ADAMLEY Absolutely. And I'll tell you what else. This is gonna raise nineteen kinds of hell in Congress. LEO What doesn't? ADAMLEY There're already extreme Republicans who are attaching amendments to bills cutting off military aid to any NATO member that signs the treaty... LEO That won't happen. ADAMLEY ...and committing the U.S. to forcibly rescue any American soldier held and tried in such a court. Leo, this commits the United States to a scenario...where we'd be invading Holland! LEO How much of this is about hedging our bets? ADAMLEY It's not about... LEO [hollering] Look, we set up Nuremberg! We set up the Tokyo War Crimes Trial. And that was fine until we realized the Cold War threat was gonna take precedence. So when the German rocket scientists came here to help us get into space... ADAMLEY Oh, please... LEO ...we looked the other way, while SS officers followed right behind, protected by American intelligence services, 'cause they were gonna help us with the Communists. Oh, please, Alan...So how much of this is hedging our bets? Adamley clears his throat. Leo watches, curious, as Adamley picks up a file from the coffee table. ADAMLEY Remember Operation Rolling Thunder? LEO Yeah. I think I do, yeah. ADAMLEY [opens the file] September 1966? LEO Yeah. ADAMLEY You were piloting an F-105 Fighter Chief. This was our first unit, 355th Tactical Fighter Wing out of Thailand. LEO Yeah. ADAMLEY I was Forward Air Commander. I gave you your directions. [reads from file] "From I.P., heading 273 for 10.5 miles. Your target is north-south running bridge over river, one kilometer to the tree line running east-west." LEO [impatiently] Yeah? Adamley shakes his head "No." Leo shakes his head in confusion. LEO [defensively] It was a military target. ADAMLEY It was a civilian target. It was a dam. There were eleven civilian casualties. Adamley slaps the file down on the table. Leo sits frozen and silent for a long time. The reality of Adamley's words slowly sinks in. He looks increasingly stunned and shaken, struggling to make sense of what he's just heard. LEO Why did you tell me that? ADAMLEY Because you could be charged and tried for a war crime. Leo still can't believe what he's heard. He sighs deeply, overwhelmed, and puts his hand up to his face. Eventually he looks up at Adamley again. LEO [angrily] Why did you tell me that?! ADAMLEY [coolly] All wars are crimes. Adamley sighs. Leo leans back slowly in his chair, shaking his head, and stares at Adamley. LEO We've been here awhile. ADAMLEY Yeah. [stands up, buttoning his jacket] LEO Maybe we'll call it a day. ADAMLEY Yeah. LEO I'll get you some time with the President this week. ADAMLEY I appreciate that. LEO [stands and sighs heavily] Thank you. Adamley looks a bit uncomfortable as he starts to leave. ADAMLEY Thank you. [leaves] Leo stands stiffly in the middle of his office, looking somewhat disoriented. He stares out the window and rubs the back of his neck. FADE TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet and Hoyens are seated on the sofas facing each other. They're both leaning forward. BARTLET Can I ask you a question, just out of curiosity? HOYNES Yes, sir. BARTLET If guns are meant to deter the threat of crime, what's the point of concealing them? I mean, wouldn't you want the criminal to see that you've got a gun? HOYNES [puts his glass down on the table] I suppose you would. BARTLET Then what's the answer to that? HOYNES I really don't know. BARTLET You don't know? HOYNES No, sir. I suppose the concern has more to do with the threat to the Second Amendment. BARTLET We can't all just agree it's a stupid-ass amendment that was written before there were street lamps, much less police forces, and move on? HOYNES [wearily] Sir... BARTLET There's no need for a citizen militia. HOYNES I agree with you. BARTLET Then say so. HOYNES Forty percent of Americans have a gun in their home. Bartlet stands up, walks across the office, and sits on the edge of his desk. BARTLET Only 16% believe gun ownership is an absolute right. Only 9% believe it's an absolute wrong. There's a middle. We can win them! HOYNES [testily] Not when we're running the MS defense, Mr. President! BARTLET Which we wouldn't have been doing if... HOYNES If what, sir? BARTLET Nothing. Hoynes stands up. BARTLET [fuming] You outed me, John. With that trip to Nashua, with the oil companies. You wanted people to start asking questions. Hoynes walks toward Bartlet until he's only a few feet away. HOYNES [angry] I needed to start running because nobody told me I wasn't! And you announced it! And I found out on television! BARTLET [yelling] So did my wife. HOYNES [yelling] This whole thing was mismanaged, sir! BARTLET Look... HOYNES [yelling] It was blown! BARTLET Yes, it was. HOYNES Yes, it was! They glare at each other for several long moments. BARTLET It's not easy being my Vice President, is it? HOYNES [sighs] No, sir. BARTLET I wouldn't think so. [walks around behind his desk and leans on it] But it's the only way you're gonna get the nomination. You know that, right? If I win. HOYNES Yeah. And the only way you're gonna win is if I'm on the ticket. You know that, don't you, sir? BARTLET Yeah. Hoynes starts to leave. BARTLET You'll go to Texas? HOYNES [nods] I want a seat at the table. BARTLET Yeah. CHARLIE [knocks and enters] Mr. President? BARTLET Yeah? CHARLIE They're getting ready for you in the Briefing Room. BARTLET Thank you. Charlie goes back to his desk, but leaves the door open. Bartlet and Hoynes aren't looking at each other. HOYNES I'll be back in my office. Is there anything else, sir? Bartlet is buttoning up his shirt cuffs. He has a stern look on his face. BARTLET No. HOYNES Thank you, Mr. President. Hoynes leaves. Bartlet finishes straightening his shirt and grabs his suit jacket off the back of one of the chairs. As he leaves the Oval Office for the briefing, thunder rumbles outside and rain coats the windows. FADE TO: EXT. PARK IN WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT The rain has stopped. Josh and Donna are sitting on a park bench next to a large, elegant fountain. They seem very tense and uncomfortable. Suddenly, Cliff appears from behind the fountain. Josh sees him, stands up, and walks over to him. Donna watches them for a moment, but then she looks away. JOSH There's a coffee shop across the street. You can read it there. You've got an hour. I haven't read it, but if anything bothers you, you'll issue a subpoena in the morning. You'll have it back before the end of the day. If not, that's that. CLIFF Yeah. JOSH If I read any of this in the newspaper, or anything happens I don't like, I've got the entries for October 4th and 5th. CLIFF What's October 4th and 5th? JOSH [pointing] You. CLIFF [nods] That's fair. Thank you. Donna is sitting stiffly on the bench, staring straight ahead. Josh gives Cliff the diary. Cliff takes it and walks away. Josh stands still for a few moments, watching Cliff. Then he turns around, walks back to the park bench, and sits down next to Donna. JOSH [shivering, sighs] It's starting to get cold already. Donna looks at him, her eyes slightly downcast. He puts his arm behind her on the back of the bench, although she's not sitting close enough to him for his arm to really be around her shoulders. It's a slightly awkward, but well-intentioned, gesture. JOSH It's gonna be fine. Donna looks at him blankly, like she'd like to believe him. Josh looks like he's trying to convince himself, but he hasn't quite succeeded yet. And so they sit, side by side, and wait. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are a property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 3.05 -- “War Crimes” Original Airdate: November 7, 2001, 9:00 PM EST Transcribed by: Giorgio, Irene, and Amanda March 4, 2002