THE WEST WING “THE MIDTERMS” WRITTEN BY: AARON SORKIN DIRECTED BY: ALEX GRAVES TEASER JOSH [VO] (on speaker phone) It's called the Theory of Everything. FADE IN: INT. C.J.’S OFFICE - DAY C.J. is in her office picking up and putting down various pieces of paper and files, while speaking on the phone with Josh. C.J. The Theory of Everything? JOSH (VO) Yes. C.J. Is it comprehensive? JOSH (VO) C.J.... C.J. sits down at her desk rummaging through her files. C.J. That was a joke there, pal-o-mine. JOSH (VO) I want you to lead with this. C.J. Carol, I'm missing the OMB stats. Carol is popping in and out of C.J.'s office handing her different files. CAROL They're coming. JOSH (VO) C.J. I want you to lead with this. C.J. I'm not gonna lead with it. CUT TO INT. JOSH’S HOSPITAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS Josh is lying in a bed. JOSH Yes, you are. C.J. (VO) Okay. JOSH So, you got it? C.J. Sure. JOSH I mean, you got what you're suppose to say. C.J. (VO) Carol, also the EPA? CAROL Committee won't be out 'til 3:00. JOSH (VO) C.J. say it for me. C.J. He's making me crazy. JOSH (VO) You know I heard that. C.J. (VO) Yeah, I understand how a speakerphone works. JOSH Say it for me. C.J. Joshua, I really have to get to the briefing room. She starts to put on her jacket. JOSH Say it please. C.J. Psychics at Cal Tech and the FERMI National Accelerator Lab are close to announcing what... JOSH Physicists! Theoretical physicists at Cal Tech... C.J. Not psychics? JOSH (VO) No. C.J. I should jot that down. JOSH Please. C.J. I tell you if it was psychics I'd lead with it. C.J. gets up to leave. JOSH (VO) C.J... C.J. Talk to you later mi amor. She heads out the door. JOSH (VO) I don't think you understand how important this is... He continues to ramble but there's no one in C.J.'s office. CAROL The OMB Stats. She hands C.J. some papers. C.J. Thank you. You can set 'em down and let JOSH rant a little before you hang up the phone. CAROL Sure. C.J. walks through JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA and runs into Toby and they start pedeconferencing down the hall. TOBY C.J. C.J. Yes, ma'am. TOBY The Bureau of Labor Statistics is going to report that the CPI jump 0.7%... C.J. Okay... TOBY ...is the biggest one month increase since the Bureau began tracking prices in '52. C.J. All right, let me say this, the market basket used to calculate the CPI is antiquated. TOBY Say outdated. C.J. And doesn't include some regular house hold items... TOBY Yes. C.J. ...like computers... TOBY The prices are always dropping... C.J. Yes. TOBY ...and doesn't reflect significant technical improvements like airbags in automobiles, which increase the price of the car very slightly, but provide a much greater value to the consumer. You got all that? C.J. Let's find out. Toby walks off in another direction and Leo meets up with C.J. LEO C.J. C.J. Leopold. LEO Mention the HUD secretary is announcing changes in the underwriting criteria for the Federal Housing Administration. C.J. Well, the network's gonna want to break in with special coverage for that. Leo isn't amused. LEO The adjustments are in FHA related lending. C.J. Seriously, they're going to need time to put together a logo and theme music. LEO You know the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported... C.J. Reported the CPI jumped by 0.7%. LEO Thank you. They both enter THE COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE and Leo leaves, only to be replaced by Sam. Sam catches up as they head for the Press Room. SAM C.J. C.J. Oh, Holy Interruptus, Batman! SAM Grant Samuels died. C.J. Really? SAM Yes. C.J. He's really dead this time? SAM Yeah. C.J. Cause last time you told me he was dead and he wasn't. SAM He's dead this time. C.J. Somebody poked him a little to see... SAM He died, C.J.! C.J. Well, okay, then I shouldn't have made a joke. SAM I'm almost certain he's dead. C.J. Sam! SAM I was making a joke, too! What, you work alone? C.J. Give me some... SAM He's survived by his wife, Eileen, his son, Robert, his two daughters, Priscilla and Patty, and eight grandchildren. C.J. I'm not going to learn their names. SAM Uh...that's fine. C.J. Eileen, Robert, Priscilla, Patty, and eight grandchildren. And I'm assuming it was complications due to... She gives Sam a knowing look. SAM Uh... yeah. C.J. You know anything about Theoretical Physics? SAM Ah... The Grand Unified Theory. C.J. You know anything about it? SAM No. C.J. Okay. Sam takes off. C.J. continues toward THE PRESS ROOM. CAROL (OS) Folks, please take your seats. The briefing will start now. C.J. hears this, rushes in and takes the podium. C.J. Good morning everybody. I have to start with a sad announcement. Congressman Grant Samuels finally succumbed to pneumonia last night. His wife, Eileen, his son, Robert, his daughters, Priscilla and Patty, and his eight grandchildren are all in the President's thoughts today. I also want to talk this morning about the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Federal Housing Administration. The camera moves from C.J. to a set of monitors against the wall and it switches to a TV set in JOSH'S HOSPITAL ROOM, where Josh is lying in bed watching C.J.'s briefing. C.J. And as a special treat for our friend, Josh Lyman, who's recovering very nicely at G.W. The President's science advisors is telling us that psychics at Cal Tech and the Fermi National Accelerator Lab..... Josh begins banging the back of his head against the headboard. C.J. (OS) You know what? I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be physicists. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY AUGUST 14TH 12 WEEKS BEFORE ELECTION DAY TOBY [VO] 81%. SAM [VO] Can you believe it? C.J. [VO] And all we had to do was get shot at. CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - CONTINUOUS Everyone is seated a conference table. TOBY 81% SAM Those numbers are soft. C.J. (sarcastically) Do you think? SAM You don't? C.J. A week ago the job approval's at 51. We get shot at and it's at 81. Yeah, I think the numbers are soft. TOBY Still... 81%. Leo and Bartlet enter the room. Everyone stands up. EVERYONE Good morning, Mr. President. BARTLET Good morning, everybody. Anybody know what the word 'acalculia' means? SAM It's the inability to form arithmetic functions. I'm sorry, Mr. President. You wanted to answer your own question, didn't you? BARTLET Yeah, but I'll get over it. [starts to sit down] SAM Good for you, sir. That's very mature. BARTLET Shut up. SAM You're not over it yet, are ya? Everyone sits down. BARTLET No. SAM Okay. LEO Did we really poll at 81%? C.J. Those aren't internals. It's CNN, USA Today. TOBY It's soft. LEO (mock surprise) No! SAM When asked "whose approach on important national problems do you think is generally best, President Bartlet or the Republican leaders of Congress?" Bartlet gets 61%. BARTLET Well 19% of the country has clearly made up their minds about me; 20% just feel sorry for me. This is what you want if you're the leader of the free world. Give us an over view. ED Mr. President, we got a honest to god shot at taking back the House. LARRY Taking back the house and possibly picking up two seats net in the Senate. ED As well as two governorships and maybe a half dozen state Houses. LEO Where should we be looking? ED Indiana 6th, California 4th and 14th... LARRY Michigan 12... ED Michigan 12, Texas 12... LARRY Florida 4, 5, and 9... C.J. They're not going to elect a democrat in the Florida 9th. LARRY I'm sorry Florida 8th. LEO They're not going to elect a democrat there, either. But let's put some time into it. What else? CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY Charlie is on the phone and Margaret is hanging around Mrs. Landingham's desk. Charlie is trying to ignore her. CHARLIE (into phone) I can hold or you can call me back. MARGARET An inability to form arithmetic functions. CHARLIE (into phone) Sure. MARGARET Apparently, there's a specialized circuit in the brain for numbers. You know where it is? CHARLIE (into phone) I'm sorry? MARGARET It's in the left parietal lobe. CHARLIE (into phone) Thank you. MARGARET Hey, Zoey. ZOEY [enters] Hey, Margaret. Where's Mrs. Landingham? MARGARET At a funeral. The President's in the Roosevelt room. ZOEY I wasn't here to see my father. I was here to see him. (indicates Charlie) MARGARET Do you know what 'acalculia' means? ZOEY Yes, because I got it at breakfast. CHARLIE (into phone) Thank you. (hangs up) Hey. ZOEY Hi. MARGARET Charlie, Mrs. Landingham asked me to ask you to call technical support and have them look at her computer. CHARLIE Yeah. MARGARET You're supposed to ask for a man named Andrew Mackintosh. He's the only one she trusts. CHARLIE Mackintosh? MARGARET Like the apple. CHARLIE Sure. MARGARET Thank you. Zoey and Charlie leave to the HALLWAY. ZOEY I called you at home last night. CHARLIE I didn't get home 'til late. ZOEY Where were you? CHARLIE I was here. ZOEY Called here, too. CHARLIE I'm not lying to you, Zoey. ZOEY I don't think you were lying to me, Charlie. I just think you were either at home or here, you didn't return my call. CHARLIE I was here, I didn't get the message. I was home, I got the message. I didn't return your call 'cause it was late. ZOEY I don't mind being woken up. CHARLIE Well, now I know that. ZOEY Now you know that. CHARLIE (to someone in the hall) Excuse me. ZOEY We have been dating for nine months. CHARLIE I've gotta go in there. Charlie enters THE ROOSEVELT ROOM. ED Cumberland, Monroe, possibly Stanwick. C.J. Since you brought up Cumberland and Monroe, can I say a word about the shooting? (beat) It's been a week and the honeymoon's about to be over. SAM She's right. C.J. We want to be sure it doesn't look like we're taking advantage of the situation. TOBY Why not? C.J. Why not, what? TOBY The entire country was the victim of domestic terrorism. Why not use the soft numbers before they disappear and go after the guns and go after the hate groups? C.J. It doesn't look good. TOBY Looks good to me. C.J. Well, you work for the White House, Toby. I think we were counting on your support, either way. TOBY Mr. President... BARTLET C.J., if you get questions about the midterms, say "we haven't thought that far ahead due to recent events." LEO Oh, and when they ask about the linkage between the approval numbers and the shooting, "the President's deeply gratified by the publics' support but eager to focus on the issues." TOBY Which will be.... BARTLET I'll let you know. Thank you very much, everyone. EVERYONE Thank you, Mr. President. Everybody rises as Bartlet stands up. CHARLIE Mr. President. Charlie hands a note to Bartlet as everyone clears the room. BARTLET (reads the note) It's fine. Tell them around 3 o'clock. CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET Was Zoey out there? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET Is she still here? CHARLIE I don't know, sir. BARTLET Okay. [starts to gather his files] Leo. Leo and Bartlet walk out of the room to the HALLWAY. LEO Yes, sir. BARTLET Did you know Elliot Roush is running to for the school board in Manchester? LEO I didn't sir, but then, I don't know who Elliot Roush is... BARTLET Elliot Roush. LEO Yes. BARTLET My Elliot Roush. LEO I'm sorry sir, but I'm still not... BARTLET I beat him in my first Congressional campaign. LEO I can't believe I didn't commit that piece of arcane information to memory. BARTLET I want some polling numbers on that race. LEO I don't want you focusing your attention on the school board race in New Hampshire. BARTLET Yeah, 'cause looking at two numbers on a piece of paper really takes the life out of me. LEO I know where this is going... BARTLET Get me the numbers. Let me tell you something... LEO No. BARTLET ...I'm ready to go out there. LEO No. BARTLET I don't need to wait another week. LEO Sir, let's play a game of "Who do you think I'm going to agree with?" Fourteen doctors say you should wait another week before you assume a campaign schedule. Who do you think I'm going to agree with? BARTLET Get away from me. LEO Yes, sir. Leo leaves. Bartlet enters the Oval Office. CUT TO: INT. SAM’S OFFICE - DAY GINGER Sam. SAM Is he here? GINGER Want me to bring him back? SAM Ah... I'll go get him myself. CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - CONTINUOUS Sam walks out to the White House lobby and sees a familiar person: TOM JORDAN. SAM Tom. TOM JORDAN Sam, hello. SAM I hope you weren't waiting too long. They shake hands. TOM No. I mean, I don't mind. Sam, this is my wife, Sarah. SARAH Hi. SAM It's nice to meet you. You got married. TOM Two years, with a baby on the way. SAM (to Sarah) Is it his? They all chuckle. SARAH Yeah. SAM Okay, follow me. They all start walking. SAM Tom and I had a contracts professor at Duke who couldn't stand me. TOM Those may be your thoughts, Mr. Seaborn, but that's not the law. SAM If he knew how many times I wanted to tell him to take the law and shove it up his... Hey, have you guys been to the White House? TOM No. SARAH We were looking forward to a tour. SAM Ah...Well, that's my office over there. (points to his area) And the President works in that round room over there. (points toward the Oval Office) And nobody else really matters. Come on in. They go inside THE MURAL ROOM. SAM This is the Mural Room. SARAH Hmm...can you tell us anything about it? SAM It's called the Mural room. Have a seat. Do you know why I wanted to talk to you? Tom and Sarah sit down, but Sam stays standing. TOM I really don't. SAM 'Cause the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee asked me to. (beat) Grant Samuels died a few days ago. TOM Yeah, we saw it on the news. SAM He wasn't going to be running again anyways, 'cause he was pretty sick and the man who was going to be running in his place... TOM Seymour Worthen. SAM Right, isn't going to... TOM Sy Worthen isn't running? SAM Tom, you are a phenomenally attractive Democratic candidate for that district. There are 162 games in major league baseball season and the players have a saying "Every team's going to win 54 games, every team's going to lose 54, it's what you do with the other 54 games that counts." In your district, you got democrats, you got republicans, and the other 54 games are women. Specifically young mothers, among who the number one issue is crime. You are a graduate of Oberlin and Duke Law School. You passed up many lucrative opportunities to work in the D.A's office. You are a prosecutor with an exceptional conviction record and certainly nobody can hang "soft on crime" around your neck. You're active in local politics. You're personable. You are articulate and energetic. You are married and you're having a baby. SARAH I thought you didn't know that. SAM I'm sorry? SARAH When you were out in the lobby, it seemed as if you didn't know that Tom was married and that there was a baby on the way. And now it sounded like you already had that information. SAM Sarah, there's very little information about your husband that I don't have. And tell your mom happy birthday for me. Sarah blinks in dismay. TOM Sam. SAM Tom, you'll have the full weight of the Democratic National Committee, the Congressional Campaign Committee, the Minority leader, whom we hope to make the majority leader, and the President of the United States. What do you say? You want to run for Congress? TOM There's a lot to consider, Sam. How much time do I have to think about it? SAM Five minutes. I'll be outside. [leaves] CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY C.J. and Toby are walking down a hallway. C.J. You're pissed at me? TOBY I'm saying, I could've used your support in there. C.J. You get my support the same way I get yours. When I agree with what you're saying or when I don't care about what you're saying. This time I disagree. TOBY You don't think we should use the moment to get aggressive about guns and hate groups? C.J. I think we were victims of a violent crime and it's unseemly to use this moment at all. TOBY We didn't get the country drunk, C.J. We're not taking advantage of anybody, and even if we were, who cares? C.J. Every Republican spending the next 12 weeks trying to keep control of the House. TOBY C.J. C.J. Toby! If you and the FBI want to go after hate groups, I'm not the one you have to convince. Go bag the President. They go inside TOBY’S OFFICE. C.J. starts to leave, but turns back. TOBY I will. C.J. I've gotten a lot of calls about pieces people want to do on how staffers are handling the shooting and the aftermath. TOBY Psychologically? C.J. Yeah. I don't think it's a good idea. Do you? TOBY We're not the story. C.J. That's what I'm saying. TOBY Leave me alone. C.J. leaves. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY SEPTEMBER 5TH NINE WEEKS BEFORE ELECTION DAY INT. COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Toby walks in. TOBY (to himself) I got it. I got it. I got it. (beat) I got it. Bonnie, Ginger, I got it. GINGER Excellent! BONNIE Way to go! TOBY Sam! BONNIE (OS) Do you know what? GINGER No. Toby enters his office and sets down some files and comes out of his office looking for Sam. Bonnie hands him a note, which he crumples without reading it. TOBY Sam. He looks in Sam's office as Sam walks behind him. TOBY Sam? SAM I'm right here. TOBY [turns] Oh, I thought you were in there. SAM I wasn't. TOBY I got it. SAM Got what? TOBY How to avoid the appearance that we're randomly and generically going after extremist groups in violation of their civil liberties. SAM We can avoid that appearance by not doing it. TOBY Yes, or with this. The shooting was the action of not one, but at least three card carrying members of West Virginia White Pride. They leave the communications office and down a yellow HALLWAY. SAM They have cards? TOBY What? SAM They actually have membership cards? TOBY What the hell? No, Sam, it was an expression. SAM Okay. TOBY The key phrase is "at least", at least three members. There might be more. We don't know. SAM So, therefore, FBI has grounds to investigate... TOBY Yes, to investigate or curtail the activities of all extremist organizations.... SAM ...under a cover of investigating this one particular crime. TOBY How do we know that whatever young Nazis of Delaware weren't co-conspirators? SAM It's not an uncommon way to get around the Bill of Rights, Toby. I'm surprised it took you three weeks to come up with it. TOBY Possibly, because, I had no help from anyone else who works in this building. SAM Toby. TOBY I'm taking it to Leo. SAM Knock yourself out. (walks off) Toby goes into JOSH’S BULLPEN AREA. TOBY Donna. He follows her as she weaves in and out of the bullpen. DONNA Yes? TOBY You going to see Josh? DONNA I'm taking him his lunch. TOBY Can I come? DONNA No. TOBY Listen... DONNA No. TOBY Donna. DONNA You know the rules. TOBY The rules are dumb. DONNA The rules are not dumb. TOBY Donna, seriously. DONNA I'm perfectly serious, Toby. He's recovering from an attempted murder. He's supposed to be resting and I don't want people going over there getting him fuhtushed. TOBY Fartoost. Don't bring the Yiddish unless you know what you're doing. DONNA You know what word should be Yiddish, but isn't? TOBY Donna DONNA Spatula. TOBY Thank you. DONNA Also, far-fetched. TOBY I need to talk to him about... They go inside JOSH’S OFFICE. DONNA The Hate Crimes and how best to bring it to the President. He's got the papers you wrote. He's got the materials you sent him. You've talked to him on the phone 93 times a day. TOBY And I'd like to go to his apartment and talk to him. DONNA No. TOBY Donna. DONNA Maybe if you hadn't said the rules were dumb. Donna walks out and leaves a dejected Toby in the office. TOBY Yeah. CUT TO: INT. LEO’S OFFICE - DAY Zoey knocks on Leo's door frame. ZOEY Hey, Leo. LEO Hey, kid. ZOEY I was looking for my father. LEO He's making campaign calls. ZOEY He's not in the Office. LEO He's making them from the residence. ZOEY Why? LEO You're father has a very strict interpretation of something called the Pendleton Act, which prohibits campaign donations to be solicited on government property. ZOEY It's a little impractical for the President to step across the street to use the pay phone, isn't it? LEO Exactly. ZOEY Isn't the Residence government property, too? LEO Yes. ZOEY Then why....? LEO Because your father is a demented, demented man. I'm going over there. They start to leave Leo's office. ZOEY Leo, these last few days, do you feel like Charlie’s been.... LEO No. CUT TO: INT. THE PRESIDENT’S BEDROOM - DAY A steward is bringing breakfast for Bartlet, who is sitting on the bed with a phone to his ear. C.J. is standing at the end of the bed. C.J. Sir... BARTLET 46%. C.J. Yes, sir. BARTLET The guy is polling at 46%. C.J. I didn't think they had polling data on people running for seats on the Board of Education. BARTLET They didn't. I had to have our guys do it. C.J. Sir, do you think you're becoming obsessed with this race? BARTLET He's polling at 46%. He's not a joke. He's polling inside the margin. C.J. In a race for the Board of Education, in a school district that has 43 kids. BARTLET It has 1100 kids, and you don't take these people seriously 'cause they don't get anywhere nationally, but they don't have to. All they have to do is, bit by little bit, get themselves on the Boards of Education and city councils. 'Cause that's where all the governing that really matters to anybody really happens. C.J. We do a little governing here, Mr. President. BARTLET I'm on hold with a guy whose name I've got on an index card. How much governing do you think is going on around here today? And can you believe I'm on hold? C.J. You're not, sir. You finished the call. BARTLET I did? C.J. Yes, sir. BARTLET How'd it go? C.J. Very well. Leo knocks at the door. He enters with Zoey. LEO Good morning, Mr. President. BARTLET Elliot Roush is now polling at 46%. LEO How do you know? BARTLET I had our people... LEO You had our people check. BARTLET [gets up off the bed] I have 3 daughters who grew up in that school district. LEO Leave Elliot Roush alone. You beat him already. BARTLET And he has come back. Like crab grass pulled from the lawn. Not by the root, but by the other thing. LEO I stopped by to see how the calls are going. BARTLET They're going fine. LEO Then I'll leave. Bartlet sits down at the settee to eat his breakfast. BARTLET Can't tell you how much I'm going to miss you. (to Zoey) You wanted to talk to me? ZOEY Not if you're in this mood. C.J. motions for Leo to wait. BARTLET (big sigh) This is real and a man, who makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a Barbara Walters Special, is now polling at 46% in your school district, for which I have personally baked things to raise money. (to C.J.) You can go, too. C.J. You baked things? She's a bit amused by this information. BARTLET (sternly) You can go. C.J. (more seriously) Thank you, Mr. President. C.J. and Leo leave. BARTLET What do you want? ZOEY Dad, can I speak to you about Charlie? We follow C.J. and Leo just OUTSIDE THE PRESIDENT'S BEDROOM. C.J. The calls are going well. LEO Good. C.J. Listen, Leo, we're still asked to participate in aftermath stories. LEO Psychological effects? C.J. Yeah and I was wondering.... LEO Don't do it. C.J. No, I know that. But I was wondering... LEO You're wondering what? C.J.'s beeper vibrates and she checks it. C.J. This isn't going to be good. LEO You were wondering what? C.J. Don't worry about it. LEO Okay. (leaves) C.J. picks up a nearby phone and starts dialing. C.J. (into phone) Hey, it's C.J. Cregg. CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S BULLPEN AREA - DAY TOBY Step 3: Public disclosure of membership and contributor rolls for all organizations on the Attorney General's list of hate groups. This allows for the American public to know who their people are and where their funding is coming from. SAM Yes, and to do it in blatant violation of their right to free association. TOBY Sam. SAM You know, laws like this were passed in the south during the Civil Rights movement to root out members of such terrorist organizations as the NAACP. TOBY I knew you were going to say that. SAM Yes, you did. By the way, the Supreme Court struck down those laws as unconstitutional. TOBY That was an ultra-activist Warren Court that struck down those laws and I think they'd see it differently, today. SAM Toby, you're an.... you're an activist! TOBY And I was shot at and so I am acting, right now! C.J. [walks up] Sam. SAM He wants everyone to have to register affiliation with the FBI. C.J. Any problems with the first Amendment? TOBY I'll get around them. [takes off] C.J. I need to talk to you. SAM What's up? C.J. There's a problem with your friend. SAM Which friend? C.J. Tom Jordan, the guy you got running. SAM What's the problem? C.J. His prosecutorial record. SAM His prosecutorial record is great. C.J. Not during jury selection. They walk inside THE MURAL ROOM. SAM Preemptive challenges? C.J. Your friend likes white jurists for his black defendants. SAM He's a prosecutor, C.J. C.J. Not anymore. Now he's a politician and this needs a save. So, get into it, would you? SAM Yeah. C.J. leaves the Mural room and Sam stands alone looking around the room. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT OCTOBER 2OTH THREE WEEKS BEFORE ELECTION DAY CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Bartlet is at his desk stuffing papers into his briefcase getting ready to leave. Charlie is giving him last minute details. BARTLET Do we know how Tokyo opened? CHARLIE I thought it was up 3/8th against the Yen, but let me check with somebody. BARTLET Is that it for me? CHARLIE No, sir. You've got 4 to 5 phone calls still to make. BARTLET Wyman? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET Frank Gates and McNamara? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET Those are campaign calls. CHARLIE Mr. President, why don't you stay in your office and make the damn... Charlie cuts off and realizes that he's gone too far. Bartlet takes off his glasses and looks pointedly at Charlie. BARTLET Because I choose not to, Charlie. Because, however an empty gesture it may seem, I would like to take some executive notice of the notion that it's probably not a good idea for the most powerful and influential person in the world to be calling up the people whose laws he signs and asking them for money! (beat) I'm going to do it, but not behind this desk and not in this room. What else? CHARLIE (hesitantly) I was asked to tell you that an event was added to Tuesday the 7th. A reception for Talk Radio Host. I guess they're called Talk Radio. It's 3 weeks away. You don't need to commit right now. BARTLET Yeah. (takes the phone messages) I'll make these calls from the Residence. Tell C.J. I want to see her in an hour. CHARLIE Yes, sir. Bartlet leaves his office as Charlie thinks about what just happened. CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - NIGHT Charlie is walking down the hall by the Roosevelt Room. He sees something in the room that catches his eye and enters. CHARLIE Hello. Are you a cabinet member? At the end of the conference table is a little boy sitting in one of the chairs. The little boy shakes his head. CHARLIE Can you tell me your name? JEFFREY Jeffrey. CHARLIE Jeffrey what? JEFFREY Jeffrey Mackintosh. CHARLIE Like the apple. JEFFREY Yeah. CHARLIE You here with your dad? On cue, ANDREW MACKINTOSH enters the room. ANDREW MACKINTOSH Excuse me. I'm sorry. Jeffrey, when I tell you to sit and stay put, do you know what I need you to do? That. I need you to do that. Not some variation on that, but that. JEFFREY Sorry. ANDREW Sorry. Okay, see now I gotta make you rewire the house. (to Charlie) I'm Andrew Mackintosh. I'm from Technical Support. We're installing new software. CHARLIE Yeah, I thought that was a few weeks ago. ANDREW It was, but there was some bugs. CHARLIE Okay. ANDREW I hope nobody minds. They said it was okay to bring my son. My wife works some nights. CHARLIE Sure. ANDREW (to Jeffrey) Let's go big man. Andrew pats Jeffrey and hustles him out of the room. CHARLIE Take it easy, Jeffrey. JEFFREY Take it easy. Charlie walks out of the Roosevelt room and passes Sam in the HALLWAY. SAM Hey, man. CHARLIE Hey. Sam walks towards LEO’S OFFICE. SAM Leo. (taps lightly on Leo’s door frame) LEO Oh Sam, come in. Close the door. SAM What's going on? LEO Josh is on the speaker. JOSH (VO) Hey, Sam. SAM What's going on? LEO A guy who went to college with Tom Jordan says he belonged to an all white fraternity. The local papers are gonna carry it tomorrow. SAM Yeah. I checked that out weeks ago. It wasn't an exclusive fraternity, they just didn't happen to have any black pledges. LEO Yeah, but you put this together with the preemptive challenges in voir dire and serious leaders in the African-American community have a problem. SAM I'll talk to him. LEO Nah. SAM Leo. LEO No, it's over, Sam. I'm going to... SAM No. LEO I'm going to cancel.... SAM No! LEO The President's stop and shut down the money. SAM You can't cut and run, Leo. JOSH (VO) We don't have any choice, Sam. SAM Of course we have a choice. CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS Josh is pacing around his apartment wearing a sweaty T-shirt. JOSH We got a chance at the House. We've only got 3 weeks left. Leo’s got to put the President and the money where the President and money can win. SAM Tom Jordan is running against the man... LEO Well, you don't have to tell me. SAM You're going to hand it to him JOSH Which will matter less if we get back the house. LEO Jordan is down by 7 and he's not going to come back from this. JOSH Not only that, we stand by him, this is a national thing. It could drag down black turn out in districts where we're competitive. SAM I told him.... LEO Yeah. SAM I told him we would stand by him. I told him he would have our full support. I was the one who asked him to run. I was asked to ask him. LEO I know. SAM We walk away now, that's it. He's a racist! The White House just said so! LEO We can't afford all the things we want, Sam. It's over. Leo puts on his glasses and the conversation is over. Sam leaves and slams the door on his way out. JOSH (VO) Hey, Leo. You know, there's a... something called the Super string Theory. Which at its most basic level says that the universe consists of these tiny loops of string that vibrate at different frequencies. Leo finds this information a bit inane. LEO How did that bullet not kill you? JOSH Just lucky, I guess. LEO Yeah. He reaches over and pushes a button to hang up on Josh. CUT TO: INT. TOBY’S OFFICE - NIGHT Toby is working at his desk. C.J. knocks and enters. C.J. Toby. TOBY (without looking up) Yeah. C.J. Any chance I can see an advanced copy of the President's remark for the Asia Pacific? TOBY Um... what? C.J. Asia Pacific. TOBY I have a draft here. I'm going to rewrite it. C.J. I thought I was going to have it by the end of the day. TOBY The day's not over yet. C.J. You know, Toby. These pieces everyone wants to do on the psychological aftermath of the shooting for the White House staff, they had me thinking. Do you think there might be a psychological aftermath and we're not paying attention to it? TOBY C.J., I really don't have time to have this conversation. C.J. I'm saying, I think you should have this conversation with somebody. TOBY You think my problem is psychological? C.J I think you're Director of Communications and you've been ignoring operational responsibilities... TOBY That's crap. C.J. ...So you can behave like the Director of the FBI. TOBY Well, I'm waiting for the Director of FBI to behave that way. C.J. Toby. TOBY I'm waiting for the Justice department to behave that way. I'm waiting for Congress to behave that way. Charlie walks up. TOBY I'm waiting for the White House to behave that way! C.J. You want to lock up everybody with a white sheet? TOBY Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Who has a problem with that? Bring 'em to me, right now. YES I DO! Charlie, who has been standing quietly, finally knocks lightly on Toby's door. C.J. turns around. C.J. He's ready for me? CHARLIE In the Residence. C.J. Thank you. Charlie leaves. C.J. turns to Toby. C.J. I'll be here for a while, so... whenever you can get me Asia Pacific. TOBY Give me an hour. C.J. leaves. Toby sits and taps his pen on his desk, but we can see something is definitely bothering him. CUT TO: INT. THE PRESIDENT’S BEDROOM - NIGHT Bartlet is sitting reading some papers. Knock on the door. BARTLET Come in. C.J. [enters and closes the door] Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET Hi, C.J. C.J. Charlie said you wanted to see me. BARTLET Yeah. Why has there been no press mentioned that the fact that Elliot Roush was an opponent of mine in New Hampshire? C.J. Elliot Roush is the man....? BARTLET He's running for a seat on the school board up in New Hampshire. C.J. Yes, sir. I'm sure it's gotten some local coverage. I can have the news office run.... BARTLET Why isn't it more than local? C.J. It's a school board seat. BARTLET It's a human interest story. C.J. Not a very interesting one. BARTLET I'm saying, if anyone in the Press Room wanted to do this story that I would comment on the record. C.J. takes a seat across from Bartlet. C.J. Sir, the President can't publicly take sides in a local school board election. BARTLET Why can't he? C.J. Because it's not done, and it's not fair. It's personal and it's irresponsible. It will galvanize the Republicans and the Democrats in Congress will think you've abandoned them, that you don't care about winning back the House. BARTLET I don't care about winning back the House. C.J. Mr. President... BARTLET I don't care about winning back the House! C.J. Well, I don't believe that's true so let's just keep that between you and me. BARTLET C.J., I've known men of faith in my life. Towering men. Men of wisdom and compassion. Men of all faiths, of healing and peace. Pro choices, pro-life, Republican, Democrat, men and women of God. Elliot Roush... (long beat) ...is polling at 53%. He's polling at 53%. He's the front runner. C.J. Then that's the way it is. In a democracy, oftentimes, the other people win. BARTLET Yeah. It was just a thought, but I mean, obviously, you're right. C.J. Yes, sir. BARTLET Thanks. C.J. Thank you, Mr. President. C.J. gets up and leaves. Bartlet goes back to reading his papers. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - STORMY NIGHT NOVEMBER 17TH ELECTION DAY CUT TO: INT. COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS SAM Ginger! GINGER They're still too close to call. SAM All twelve? GINGER Yes. SAM Hey, give me somebody in the Midwest, would ya? (speaking to a room full of people) I want to see everyone on telephones. Sam looks around and realizes everyone is on the phones. SAM Okay, good...just like that. He enters his office where his friend, Tom and Sarah Jordan, are waiting. Sam is startled by their presence. SAM God...Tom, Sarah... I'm sorry. I forgot, I was... I'm sorry, I'm late. I'm glad you could make it. SARAH It was no problem coming, Sam. Turns out there was really no reason for us to stay in our district on Election day. SAM Yeah, you've seen the exits. You're going to lose, Tom. SARAH No, Kidding. SAM Probably 58-42. TOM Yeah. SAM 42% is a very respectable number. SARAH The district's 49% Democrat, Sam. SAM Well, we'll get them next time. SARAH Shut up. TOM Sarah. SARAH There's not going to be a next time! So, shut up! (beat) Not even a word from the White House. Not even a word. SAM That's how we do it. SARAH Sam, any time we have the opportunity in the future to screw you. Count on getting screwed. SAM Good luck with the baby. Lightning flashes outside Sam's office as Tom and Sarah leave. CUT TO: INT. RECEPTION AREA - NIGHT We get a look at the reception for the Radio Talk Show Hosts. The camera pans down to two radio guys talking to C.J., who is looking confused, if not bored out of her mind. RADIO GUY 1 No, no, that was K-talk on Minneapolis. You're thinking Slam 100, sir, in the Great Lakes region. "The number one station with the number one sound." RADIO GUY 2 But, then it was classic rock. RADIO GUY 1 Or at least what our program director thought was classic rock. Fleetwood Mac, and what not. RADIO GUY 2 Then they switched over to news and information back in '82? RADIO GUY 1 '82, '83. RADIO GUY 2 We started with "Drive Time", then went to the 4 hour format. RADIO GUY 1 Say, is Howard showing up today? C.J. (waking up a bit) Stern. RADIO GUY 1 I heard he was going to show up if Imus was coming and Imus wasn't showing up if Howard was coming. RADIO GUY 2 By the way, I was "Dave in the Morning" before he was "Imus in the Morning." But that's... uh... water under the bridge. C.J. Isn't Don Imus in this 70's? RADIO GUY 2 I believe so, yes. C.J. [chuckles] How are you "Dave in the Morning" before he was "Imus in the Morning?" RADIO GUY 2 (taking it seriously) It was a very painful. I don't like to talk about it. C.J. Okay. Fellas, I'm sorry, but it's Election Day and I need to check in with the exit polls... RADIO GUY 1 Sure. C.J. ...and what not. Good meeting you both. RADIO GUY 1 Good talking to you, C.J. C.J. turns away as a woman in a green business suit walks in. Photographers taking pictures and flashbulbs going off all over the place. C.J. walks up to Carol. C.J. Who's that? CAROL Jenna Jacobs. C.J. That's Jenna Jacobs? CAROL Yeah. She changed her hair. C.J. [starts fluffing her hair] What's the latest? CAROL 12 races too close to call. Thompson, Marinovich.... C.J. I'm gonna go check. C.J. leaves the reception but gets one last look at JENNA JACOBS. CUT TO: INT. THE PRESIDENT’S BEDROOM - NIGHT Bartlet is sitting in his chair going over some papers. Toby enters after knocking. TOBY Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET Toby, I'm drinking the most fantastic thing I've ever tasted in my life: chocolate syrup, cold milk, and seltzer. I know it sounds terrible, but trust me, I don't know where this has been all my life. TOBY It's called an egg cream, Mr. President. We invented it in Brooklyn. BARTLET In Brooklyn. TOBY Yes, sir. BARTLET Not New England? TOBY There are some good things in this world not from New England, sir. BARTLET Toby, don't ever let me hear you say that again. TOBY Yes, sir. BARTLET What's on your mind? TOBY Mr. President, I was thinking... I was thinking it might... BARTLET You want to take a leave of absence. TOBY I was thinking I might need some time off, yes sir. BARTLET That's no problem, Toby. TOBY Okay. BARTLET Not a problem at all. TOBY Thank you, sir. [turns to leave] BARTLET 15 minutes. Toby turns back around to face Bartlet. BARTLET It's time to get up off the mat, Toby. TOBY Sir, what's to wrong with having the Attorney General designate potentially... BARTLET Toby. TOBY ...dangerous organizations that promote violent acts? I... I... understand it's problematic. Ah... uh... there'd be no judicial review, or legislative oversight, or even for that matter legal finding of fact, but... (big sigh) Okay... fine... fine... (choked up with emotion) Why does it feel like this? I've seen shootings before. BARTLET [rises from his chair] It wasn't a shooting, Toby. It was a lynching. They tried to lynch Charlie right in front of our eyes, can you believe that? Bartlet puts on his glasses and roots around for a file and hands it to Toby. TOBY What's this? BARTLET Keyhole satellite photographs. It's the headquarters for West Virginia White Pride headquarters. It's a diner outside Blacksberg. Every night for the past 12 weeks, I've picked up the phone and called the Attorney General, fully prepared to say two wordstake 'em. And then I hang up the phone because I know it'll be better tomorrow and better the day after that. We saw a lynching, Toby. That's why it feels like this. TOBY I'm not sure I'm going to come out of the other side of this. BARTLET I'm not sure I can either. But until we are sure, I think we should keep coming into work every day. [sits back down] TOBY How's it going with your school board guy? BARTLET Yeah, he's gonna win. TOBY When you ran against him, how'd you beat him? BARTLET I don't remember. I've been thinking about it for weeks, but I honestly don't remember. Knock at the door and Sam enters. SAM Excuse me, Mr. President. Good evening. BARTLET Hey, Sam. SAM I wasn't sure whether you'd be stopping by the Talk Radio reception. I scratched out a few remarks for you. BARTLET Let me look at them while we walk. Toby, go with us, to this radio thing. TOBY Oh God, really sir? BARTLET There'll be crab puffs. New England crab puffs, by the way, made in New England. SAM Actually, it's Alaskan crab. TOBY Sam. BARTLET There's Alaskan crab in this White House? TOBY He wouldn't have known the difference. BARTLET Have you tried them? SAM I... yes, reluctantly. I think it was clear the way I ate the crab puffs that it was a gesture of protest. BARTLET Were they good? SAM Extraordinarily good and going very fast. BARTLET Let's get there. Thunder rumbles outside. CUT TO: INT. RECEPTION AREA - NIGHT A waiter walks by with a platter of crab puffs. Photographers taking pictures of various guests. The camera pans up to C.J. talking with another radio personality. GARY I call myself Gary with a "G". C.J. How else would you spell "Gary"? GARY No other way. I'm saying, that's what I call myself. Therefore, "Gary with a "G", talking to you on KADR AM." C.J. Like Liza with a "Z". GARY Exactly. Hokey? Maybe so, but I have 900,000 listeners in the Rocky Mountain region. A Secret Service Agent catches C.J.'s eye. C.J. Would you excuse me? C.J. leaves Gary with a "G" and makes her way into the center of the room to introduce the President. C.J. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. The President of the United States. Everyone stands and claps. The flashbulbs go off as Bartlet enters the reception. BARTLET Thank you. Thank you, very much. Thanks a lot. I wish I could spend more than a few minutes with you but the polls don't close in the east for another hour and there are plenty of election results left to falsify. Everyone chuckles. BARTLET You know with so many people participating in the political and social debate through call in shows, it's a good idea to be reminded... Bartlet loses his train of thought when something attracts his attention. The camera pans over to Jenna Jacobs, sitting on her chair. BARTLET ...it's a good idea to be reminded of the awesome impact... the awesome impact... He finally gives up and addresses her. BARTLET I'm sorry, um... you're Dr. Jenna Jacobs, right? JENNA JACOBS Yes, sir. BARTLET It's good to have you here. JENNA JACOBS Thank you. BARTLET The awesome impact of the airwaves and how that translates into the furthering of our national discussions but obviously also how it can... how it can... He sighs, and addresses Jenna Jacobs again. BARTLET Forgive me, Dr. Jacobs. Are you an M.D.? JENNA JACOBS Ph.D. BARTLET A Ph.D.? JENNA JACOBS Yes, sir. BARTLET In Psychology? JENNA JACOBS No sir. BARTLET Theology? JENNA JACOBS No. BARTLET Social work? JENNA JACOBS I have a Ph.D. in English Literature. BARTLET I'm asking, 'cause on your show, people call in for advice and you go by the name of Dr. Jacobs on your show. And I didn't know if maybe your listeners were confused by that, and assumed you had advanced training in Psychology, Theology, or health care. JENNA JACOBS I don't believe they are confused, no sir. BARTLET Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination. JENNA JACOBS I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does. BARTLET Yes, it does. Leviticus. JENNA JACOBS 18:22 BARTLET Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. (small chuckles from the guests) She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, and always clears the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff, LeoO McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath, Exodus 35:2, clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important, 'cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes us unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother, John, for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Jenna Jacobs fidgets uncomfortably. BARTLET Think about those questions, would you? One last thing, while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tightass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits. Jenna Jacobs squirms in her seat but doesn't rise. Bartlet glares meaningfully at her. She finally rises out of her seat. BARTLET Toby. TOBY Yes, Mr. President. BARTLET That's how I beat him. Bartlet leaves the reception. Toby and Jenna Jacobs exchange glances before Toby leaves. Sam approaches her, who is holding a plate of hors d'oeuvre. SAM I'm just... I'm gonna take that crab puff. Sam snatches up a crab puff off of her plate and leaves. She smiles awkwardly around. CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT Camera shot of a TV monitor and pans up to Charlie walking toward his desk. JEFFREY (OS) You want one of my animal crackers? Jeffrey is sitting in Mrs. Landingham's chair. JEFFREY I have elephants and I have lions. ANDREW [enters] You bugging the man? CHARLIE No, we're okay. Is there a software problem again? ANDREW I think I got it. Just want to run a few programs and then I'll be out of here. (sits down) Pretty busy day around here, huh? CHARLIE Yeah. My name is Charlie Young, by the way. ANDREW You don't think I don't know who you are? Man who almost got the President killed? CHARLIE Yeah. That's going to look good on my resume. ANDREW I'll just be a minute. Lightning flashes outside. CHARLIE My mother used to work nights, too. ANDREW I'm sorry? CHARLIE My mother used to work nights, too. ANDREW Was she a nurse? CHARLIE A police officer. ANDREW Is she gone? CHARLIE She was shot and killed in the line a year ago, June. Ironically, she wasn't supposed to be on the shift. She switched shifts that day 'cause I asked her to. Long pause as they look at each other. ANDREW Hey, Charlie... um... you know what I think she'd say if she was here, right now? CHARLIE What? ANDREW Same thing my father would say, "if they're shooting at you, you know you're doing something right." CHARLIE Yeah. (beat) Yeah. (more lightening flashes and rumbles) ...yeah. CUT TO: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE PORTICO - NIGHT Zoey is sitting in a chair on a balcony, reading a book. Charlie approaches her. CHARLIE Excuse me, aren't you Zoey Bartlet? Zoey gives a small smile and gets up to kiss Charlie ZOEY It's too much to happen to someone your age. Your father and your mother and then this... I don't know, Charlie. I mean... what do you do? CHARLIE I was going to go vote. ZOEY I could come. CHARLIE Yeah. Leo walks by. LEO Hi. ZOEY Hi, Leo. LEO Charlie, I'm looking for the President. CHARLIE Is there anything wrong? LEO No, no... I... um.... I think he may have done a couple of numbers at the Talk Radio reception. CHARLIE Okay. Zoey and I are going out. I'll be on my pager. LEO You're going out? CHARLIE Yeah. LEO Charlie, you're taking extra protection, right? Charlie is a bit taken aback by that suggestion. CHARLIE Hey, Leo.... LEO Secret Service protection, Charlie. But thanks for loading me up with that image. CHARLIE Yeah, we'll have extra protection. LEO Okay. Something about a dead pig's skin. I need to find him. Leo walks away as Charlie and Zoey looks confusingly at each other. CUT TO: EXT. JOSH’S APARTMENT STOOP - NIGHT In a tree lined sidewalk, C.J., Josh and Donna are sitting on a stoop of one of the townhouses lining the sidewalk. Sam is nearby in a car talking on his cell phone. SAM (into phone) Okay. Toby comes out of Josh's apartment and hands C.J. a bottle of beer. JOSH Everybody should have to stay inside for three months so that they truly appreciate the outdoors. I appreciate the outdoors, now. I'm an outdoorsman. DONNA Josh? JOSH Yeah. DONNA I said I'd let you outside if you'd stop talking about being an outdoorsman and if you stopped talking about Theoretical Physics. JOSH (to C.J.) Aha! You'd thought I'd forget about it, didn't you? Banner headline, 5 days ago. Model for the Unified Theory solved. Banner headline in the New York Times. You said it wasn't going to be news. C.J. Hey! You're wearing my pajamas. JOSH Yes, I am. C.J. Take your coat off, let's see. Josh stands up and shrugs off his coat to reveal oversized light blue pajamas that are three sizes too big. C.J. Those are too big. JOSH Yes, they are. All this time I've been working with you, did you also think I was playing power forward for the Cleveland Cavaliers? C.J. I think they look good on you. (grabs Toby’s arms) TOBY I think you're all freaks. Sam gets off the phone and out of the car and approaches the stoop. TOBY What do you have? SAM You're not going to believe it. C.J. How'd they go? SAM Twelve races, in none of them did the incumbent win. In none of them, did the party that previously held the seat win. You know how it went? Seven to five. JOSH You're kidding. C.J. Seven republicans and five democrats? SAM Yeah. JOSH The house stayed the same? Everyone looks at each other. JOSH After four months and 400 million dollars, everything stayed the same. SAM Yup. JOSH Tell me democracy doesn't have a sense of humor. We sit here, we drink this beer out here on the stoop, in violation about 47 city ordinances. I don't know, Toby, it's election night. What do you say about a government that goes out of its way to protect even citizens that try to destroy it? TOBY God bless America. SAM (beat) God bless America. C.J. God bless America. DONNA God bless America. JOSH God bless America. They all clink their bottles before the camera pulls away from the stoop. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 2.3 -- “The Midterms” Original Airdate: October 18, 2000, 9:00 P.M. EST Transcript By: Suebaru