THE WEST WING "BAD MOON RISING" TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN STORY BY: FELICIA WILLSON DIRECTED BY: BILL JOHNSON TEASER WOMAN [VO] Go home. MAN [VO] No. WOMAN [VO] You were up all night. FADE IN: INT. OFFICE OF THE WHITE HOUSE COUNSEL - DAY The new White House Counsel, OLIVER BABISH, puts a book back on the shelf and sits on his chair. Two of his staffers are nearby. OLIVER BABISH Do you know why? WOMAN Oliver... OFFICE OF THE WHITE HOUSE COUNSEL OLIVER Because my staff's work on the analysis of HR 437 ignored the Fourth Amendment implications and instead... MAN Yes. OLIVER ...became fascinated with the Third, Seventh and Eleventh. WOMAN Please. In the middle of his desk, Oliver has a large gavel. OLIVER Like you've got to be a prime number to get the attention of the U.S. Supreme Court. WOMAN You can really go home and get a few hours sleep before you go to the airport. OLIVER That's why I was up all night. Where am I going? WOMAN You're going on vacation. OLIVER Wait, it's coming back to me. WOMAN Oliver... OLIVER It's not a vacation. WOMAN You'll have a... OLIVER It's not a vacation. It's a forced vacation. MAN In Borneo. OLIVER It's an international law summit where I'm supposed to show my support for -- I'm not certain -- so I have that in my notes someplace? WOMAN Yes. OLIVER I need the amicus brief on Sovereign Immunity... WOMAN It's there. OLIVER [swinging his big gavel] Federal Land Use... MAN It's there. WOMAN Would you like us to pack your big hammer? OLIVER Okay, you know what? Don't make fun of the big hammer. The big hammer happens to be a gavel given to my father's father by Justice Louis Brandeis. I need a Dictaphone. WOMAN You've got one on your desk. OLIVER It doesn't work. WOMAN What's wrong with it? OLIVER Doesn't work. WOMAN He's asking... OLIVER It's stuck on record. It won't stop recording things; so it's just what you want lying around the White House Counsel's Office because there's never been a problem with that before. WOMAN I'm putting mine in your bag. We'll have that one fixed. OLIVER Okay, you know what else? WOMAN You're going to go home and sleep until your plane leaves. OLIVER I'm fine sleeping until well after, that but somebody call me when my car's on the way. He puts on his jacket and heads outside. A staffer just got off the phone. STAFFER Excuse me, Mr. Babish. OLIVER I'm going home. STAFFER That was Mr. McGarry's office. He's on his way down with the President. Oliver stops. He turns and goes back inside. WOMAN You should fix your tie. OLIVER Yeah. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet is talking to an advisor. BARTLET I couldn't disagree more, Cal. As long as these people are funding their public school districts with property taxes, neither the value of the schools nor the value of their property is going to go up. It's a vicious circle. It's terrible and it has to be stopped. CAL So we're going to do something about it. BARTLET I wouldn't go that far. Anything else? CAL No, sir. Thank you. BARTLET Thank you. Leo walks in as Cal leaves. LEO Mr. President. BARTLET It's a vicious circle, Leo. LEO Yeah. BARTLET It never stops. LEO Sir... BARTLET It just goes round and round... LEO Look... BARTLET ...and round and round. LEO Let's go see him. BARTLET Now? LEO He's waiting for us. BARTLET We really need to see him now? LEO What better time? BARTLET Well... later. LEO Let's go. They start to walk out to the HALLWAYS. BARTLET Five White House Counsels in two and a half years. Cochran, Gates, Solomon, Tribbey. Why can't I keep a head lawyer around here? LEO 'Cause they all show up thinking they're going to be a counselor to the President and you never let them in. BARTLET I don't like new people. LEO Oliver Babish isn't a new person. You know each other. Your kids know each other. You built hospitals together. He was Midwest Finance Chairman on the campaign. BARTLET Never played chess, though, have we? LEO No. BARTLET See? LEO You're scared of Babish. BARTLET Oh, like you're not. LEO No, because we are both men of Chicago. BARTLET What is it with people from Chicago that they're so happy to have been born there? I meet so many people who can't wait to tell me they're from Chicago, and when I meet them, they're living anywhere but Chicago. LEO You wouldn't understand. BARTLET He looks down his nose at me 'cause I'm not a lawyer. LEO Yes. BARTLET I didn't go to law school. I got a Ph.D. in economics instead. LEO Your parents were very proud. BARTLET Yeah, and all that happened was I won a Nobel Prize and got elected President so I guess that decision didn't really pay off. LEO Yeah. BARTLET Should I run back and get my Nobel Prize? LEO I think he knows you've got one. Leo and Bartlet enter THE OFFICE OF THE WHITE HOUSE COUNSEL, which has a huge waiting room. The room behind it is huge also, and there are bags in it, fully packed. BARTLET Guy's been here three months he's got a nicer office than I do. LEO He's got a nicer office than I do. BARTLET That matters less to me. Oliver Babish heads out to meet them. OLIVER Good morning, Mr. President. BARTLET Hey, Oliver. OLIVER Come on in. BARTLET What are the bags for? OLIVER I was just heading out on vacation. BARTLET Oh... oh, gosh. Oliver, this... LEO Sir... BARTLET ...this can keep... LEO Mr. President... BARTLET The man's bags are packed. Where are you going? OLIVER Sarawak. BARTLET Asia's best-kept secret. OLIVER Sir, is there something you'd like to, uh...? BARTLET It's really not even... I don't want you to worry that much about it. LEO Sir... BARTLET [to Leo] I'm easing in. LEO Okay. BARTLET Well, Oliver, it really boils down to this I'm going to tell you a story and then I need you to tell me whether or not I've engaged 16 people in a massive criminal conspiracy to defraud the public in order to win a Presidential election. He looks at the dictaphone on his desk with mistrust. Then he picks up his gavel and smashes it, as Bartlets jump away in fear. OLIVER Okay. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY JOSH [VO] I'm on my way to the meeting right now. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Josh is talking on the phone. JOSH Finance, Foreign Relations, Senate Banking, I guess. Leo's in a meeting. Someone's going to call you every half-hour. Yeah. He hangs up. Donna enters. DONNA Mexico collapsed? JOSH Yeah, can you believe it? DONNA Mexico collapsed over the weekend? JOSH No, actually just this morning. DONNA How does a country collapse on a Monday morning? They walk through JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA. JOSH By noT slowly devaluing the peso the way I told them to. DONNA You told them to devalue the peso? JOSH The Treasury Secretary did, but I was in the room. DONNA Seriously... JOSH Seriously, they're in big trouble. Three weeks ago, they fell to 20 cents against the dollar. Two weeks ago, the Bolsa Index took its worst single day fall in history and this morning the Mexican market opened 20 percent off THE Friday close. They stop just outside the Roosevelt Room. DONNA What's that in U.S. terms? JOSH It'd be like a 2000 point drop in the Dow. The immediate problem... TOBY [walking by] You saw this? [gestures with newspaper] JOSH I saw it two hours ago, Toby. Where you been? TOBY I just got here. JOSH We could be screwed on vouchers. TOBY We are screwed on vouchers, but I want to know... JOSH Talk to C.J. TOBY Somebody's going to eat this quote! DONNA He's pretty pissed. JOSH Yeah, I can't worry about it right now. DONNA So what's the immediate problem? JOSH Mexico's got 30 billion dollars worth of foreign loans due this week, and they don't have 30 billion dollars. DONNA So what happens now? JOSH [singing] Oh-oh, the Wells Fargo wagon is a'coming down the street. He opens the door and enters THE ROOSEVELT ROOM. JOSH Buenos dias, señores y señoras. The people inside are staring at him funny. JOSH Let's find some money. CUT TO: INT. THE BRIEFING ROOM - DAY The camera pans across the reporters to C.J. on the podium. C.J. I've seen it, obviously. I just haven't spoken to the President about it. REPORTER STEVE C.J., can you give us any kind of sense on what may have turned the President around on school vouchers? C.J. The President hasn't turned around. REPORTER ARTHUR Is the House leadership.... REPORTER STEVE I'm sorry, I have to follow up. The quote from the senior White House official says the President would be willing to compromise... C.J. It sounds like the senior White House official would be willing to compromise, but I haven't spoken to the President yet this morning. If I could move off the quote for a moment. This is from the Coast Guard Marine Safety and Environmental Protection Division. About three hours ago a single-hull VLCC carrying four million gallons of crude oil ran up on a shoal three miles south of Rahobeth Beach, Delaware. The reporters clamor. C.J. Whoa, whoa, I don't have much. I'm going to give you everything I've got. The hull was punctured and the tanker is leaking oil. REPORTER 3 How many gallons do you think... C.J. 200,000 gallons so far. CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS C.J.'s briefing continues on T.V. Sam is at his desk. C.J. [on T.V.] The Coast Guard has set up a command center with EPA workers and the state emergency response team. The ship belongs to Kensington Oil. REPORTER 4 Does the ship have a name? C.J. [on T.V.] Yeah, it's the Indio. I-N-D-I-O. Sam looks up to the T.V. C.J. [on T.V.] The Kensington Indio. Operations are already underway... REPORTER 5 Containment booms? C.J. The Coast Guard has deployed containment booms around the vessel, and they're siphoning oil... Sam listens intensely, then exits into THE COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. SAM Bonnie, what happpened? BONNIE What do you mean? SAM The oil tanker. BONNIE I'm hearing it now. SAM Ginger, what do you know about the oil tanker? GINGER It hit Delaware. SAM I'm amazed it found Delaware. CUT TO: INT. BRIEFING ROOM - CONTINUOUS C.J. The Federal on-scene coordinator scheduled a press conference for 2:00 this afternoon from the Coast Guard Incident Command Post. We hope to have much more information by then. The reporters clamor. C.J. Thank you, everybody. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Toby is waiting for C.J. They walk. TOBY What the hell, C.J.? C.J. Anything good in the paper this morning? TOBY Who's the senior White House official? C.J. I don't know. TOBY Are you telling me you can't can't control... [raising his voice] A reporter can just pick up the phone and call anyone? C.J. Yeah. TOBY Why? C.J. 'Cause we don't live in Tripoli. TOBY The Republican leaders are already think... Shallick, Ann Stark, they already think they can get the votes on a compromised measure. C.J. Look... TOBY [rasing his voice again] All they were scared of was a veto. They're going to build it now. They're going to do it. And our phones, all day long, are going to be ringing with Democrats who want us dead. Seth Gillette's going to... Let me tell you something -- this time, he's going to be right! C.J. Toby, I'll talk to Leo and Josh. I'll talk to the President. I'll get a clarification. Beyond that, what do you want me to do? TOBY I want you to find out who the senior White House official was and [yelling] put his ass in my office by the end of the day! Toby exits, and Sam enters. Sam and C.J. enter C.J.'S OFFICE. SAM It wasn't me. C.J. I imagine if it was anyone within the sound of Toby's voice they'd be looking for a trapdoor right now. SAM Is there anything you can tell me about the tanker? C.J. Carol's going to give you the notes from the Coast Guard. SAM Do you know whether it had something to do with the navigation or the steering? C.J. Well, all that's being investigated, but I'm assuming that when a ship runs into the shore it has something to do with either the navigation or the steering. SAM Yeah. [turns to leave] C.J. Hey Sam... you don't know who it was, right? SAM No. CUT TO: INT. WHITE HOUSE COUNSEL'S OFFICE - DAY Bartlet, Leo, and Oliver are at the conference table. OLIVER What can you tell me about this disease that I don't already know? BARTLET Not as much as a doctor. You should talk to a doctor. OLIVER Well, I'm going to talk to quite a few of them. But let me ask you this. Is it possible for someone with relapsing-remitting MS to experience an attack that would include temporary loss of proper brain function but exclude any physical symptoms? Leo and Bartlet exchange glances. OLIVER Let me put it another way. Is it possible you could be sitting in this room, have an attack, and I don't know it? BARTLET I think what you're asking is, is it possible I could be sitting in the Situation Room, have an attack, and nobody knows it. OLIVER Yes. BARTLET Yes. My vision might get blurry. You wouldn't know that. My legs might get numb... OLIVER Okay sir, uh... before we go any further, there's something I want to make sure is absolutely clear. BARTLET What's that? OLIVER You and I don't enjoy attorney-client privilege. BARTLET [to Leo] What's he talking about? LEO He's a government lawyer. The privilege doesn't exist. OLIVER So you want to be very careful about what you say in this room right now, Mr. President, because if subpoenaed to give a deposition, I'm not going to lie under oath. BARTLET I don't want to be careful about what I say in this room. OLIVER Well, then we should end this meeting and you should retain private counsel. BARTLET I want you. I meant, I don't need to be careful. OLIVER Okay. I'd like to ask you some questions now. These are preliminary, and with no preparation and in no particular order. BARTLET Yeah. OLIVER Have you ever been party to a lawsuit? BARTLET Have I ever been party to a lawsuit? OLIVER Yes, sir. BARTLET I was governor of New Hampshire. Anybody who... OLIVER I mean a lawsuit in which you gave a deposition. BARTLET [heavy sigh] A meter reader slipped on a patch of black ice in my driveway and I got dragged into some pain-in-the-ass thing over my great-aunt's will. OLIVER And you gave a deposition in both those cases? BARTLET Yeah. OLIVER Do you recall any time in those depositions when you were asked about your health? BARTLET Oliver, why are we talking about my great-aunt's will and the meter reader? OLIVER Because if you were asked about your health and lied in a deposition, that's the ballgame. We're all going home. Pause. LEO He never lied. OLIVER Leo, I'd like to hear the President say that. BARTLET [beat] I never lied. OLIVER You never had to testify under oath about your health? BARTLET No. OLIVER You never answered any interrogatories or depositions about your health? BARTLET No. OLIVER Okay. The First Lady and your kids, that's four. The six original doctors and radiologists, that's ten; your brother, that's 11. Fitzwallace, the Vice President, and Leo, that's 14... LEO And the anesthesiologist at GW. OLIVER Who's the last one? BARTLET I'm sorry? OLIVER You said 16 people, who's the last one? LEO Toby Ziegler. OLIVER You told him? BARTLET Yeah. OLIVER When? LEO This past Friday night. OLIVER How's he taking it? LEO Not well. OLIVER [sighs deeply] I wouldn't think so. Mr. President, I have some more questions. Is there time now? BARTLET Well, the Mexican economy crashed, an oil tanker busted up about 120 miles from here and 13 percent of Americans are living in poverty. So yeah, I can hang out with you and answer insulting questions for awhile. OLIVER Good. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY Josh's meeting continues. JOSH Treasury's getting it into legislative language right now. The Assistant Secretary for Legislative Affairs... MAN 1 Carol Villenuevo? JOSH Yes. Says she'll have it for us in an hour to review it. That's when the President's going to call you and ask you to fast track it. He wants you to take it straight to mark-up and vote. MAN 2 Josh, my members are going to need at least a day to read the thing. JOSH We understand, but we don't have a day. LARRY What Josh means is the very next story in the news cycle has got to be that the U.S. is guaranteeing the loans. While he talks, Toby, outside the room, can be seen and heard, yelling at people. Everyone takes a moment to look at him. ED The Treasury Secretary's got to make that announcement when the markets open tomorrow morning. We need a vote tonight. JOSH Yeah, listen. Uh, the next story in the news cycle has got to be that the U.S. is guaranteeing the loans. MAN 2 These guys just said that. MAN 1 All right, you understand we may not have anything ready till 2:00, 3:00 in the morning. JOSH The President doesn't mind staying up late to sign his name. MAN 2 And you also understand no one here has said yes yet. JOSH I noticed that. MAN 2 All right. Uh... you mind if we use the room to talk? JOSH Not at all. You mind talking fast? MAN 2 I do it for a living. JOSH Shout to somebody if you need coffee. Josh walks out. He meets C.J. They walk. C.J. How's it going in there? JOSH The number of people whose permission I need before I can do whatever the hell I want... Let me tell you something. There's really a lot to be said for fascism. C.J. Funny you should mention that. JOSH Toby? C.J. He wants me to find the leak. JOSH You should. C.J. No problem. Was it you? JOSH No. C.J. Okay. Well, then, now I'm stumped. JOSH C.J.... C.J. Josh, when there's a leak, I do what I do. Finding the person is usually impossible under benign circumstances but with Toby blasting around the halls whoever it was has gone so far underground we could start our search in Beijing. JOSH What about asking Cashin? C.J. Cashin isn't going to roll over on a source. JOSH Then you've got to get a swinging light bulb in there and just do it. C.J. Yeah, this from the guy who had four kinds of aneurysms when he had to interrogate the staff on drug use. JOSH That was a lot different. C.J. 'Cause it was you? JOSH No, because that was an investigation into personal behavior. This guy compromised a policy initiative. C.J. That's a fair point, and I'm not saying it's not bad I'm just saying I'm not going to find him. JOSH You're absolutely not going to find him. C.J. But I should spend the day doing it anyway. JOSH Yes. C.J. Because Toby's pissed. JOSH Hey, you know what? I've found that if you accept that as a good enough reason for doing something, life becomes easier. C.J. Thank you for the fortune cookie wisdom. JOSH You bet. Josh walks into his OFFICE, not expecting Donna waiting. DONNA Josh? JOSH You just lurk there in the shadows, like... DONNA Whatever. JOSH What are you doing? DONNA I'm doing things, things with paper. JOSH Can you do them later? DONNA Why? JOSH So you're not doing them now? DONNA Actually, I had a couple of questions, if you don't mind. JOSH About what? DONNA The Mexico bailout. JOSH Can you ask them later? DONNA Well, later it might be a done deal, and before you send $30 billion of my money to Mexico I'd like to ask a few questions. JOSH Okay, it's going to be one of these now, right? DONNA Yeah. JOSH You object to the bailout? DONNA I do. JOSH Because in the world of Donnatella Moss we should all love one another just as long as it doesn't cost you anything. DONNA Well, yes, I suppose that's one small-minded way of putting it. JOSH [picks up the phone] Close the door. She closes the door from the inside. JOSH Donna? DONNA With me on the other side? JOSH Thank you. CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY Sam comes up to Charlie. SAM Hey. CHARLIE How are you doing? SAM Is he back yet? CHARLIE No. SAM Hey, you decided yet? CHARLIE Theology 201 Intro to Biblical Literature. SAM Why? CHARLIE So the President will stop bugging me. And English 201 Texts and Contexts. SAM What happened to molecular biology? CHARLIE It's closed out for the summer session. SAM How many AP credits do you have from high school? CHARLIE I have six in English, six in math and calculus, three in European history, and three in French. SAM You're telling me you've never been to college and after taking two classes this summer you're going to be, like, a junior? CHARLIE [smiles wryly] With a pretty decent GPA. SAM Charlie, just how smart are you? CHARLIE I've got some game. Ginger approaches Sam. GINGER Sam? SAM She's here? GINGER Yeah. SAM Thanks. Sam heads out to meet LIEUTENANT EMILY LOWENBRAU, a young Oriental woman in Naval attire. They walk. SAM Lieutenant? EMILY LOWENBRAU Mr. Seaborn? SAM Sam. EMILY Emily. SAM You look exactly the way you sound on the phone. EMILY You look exactly the way you look on the news. SAM Thanks for coming by. EMILY It's no problem. SAM I'm surprised to see you in a dress uniform on a day like you must be having today. They both enter SAM'S OFFICE. EMILY We're required to wear the Class-As for any business on the Hill or in the White House. SAM I never knew that. EMILY You never noticed that every soldier, sailor and Marine who's walked in here has been in a dress uniform? SAM I'm less visually observant than others but I make up for it. EMILY How? SAM With cunning and guile. EMILY Okay. SAM What happened to the ship? EMILY It suffered some kind of malfunction causing a steering loss about ten miles offshore. The captain dropped anchor to avoid a run-in with other marine traffic. SAM If he dropped anchor ten miles out, what's he doing here? EMILY The anchor broke. SAM The anchor broke? EMILY Yeah. SAM Anchors break? EMILY I want you to try and guess something. A ship of a size and gross tonnage of the Indio steaming at 18 knots how long do you think it takes to come to a complete stop from the moment the bridge cuts the engines and throws the props into reverse? SAM I don't know. A couple football fields, probably. EMILY Six miles. SAM Six miles? EMILY There's no anchor that stops that boat at 18 knots. SAM Okay, so the thing's drifting out there... EMILY Which is when we got a "dead in the water" mayday and we sent out the Tallahassee to tow it in. SAM What happened to the Tallahassee? EMILY 25-foot seas wind out of the north-northeast at 40. SAM So it made for port. EMILY With every intention of going back out there. SAM But the wind from the northeast... EMILY Yeah, and the tidal pull... SAM ...pushed the Indio into shore. How bad is this going to end up being? EMILY Bad. Everyone's in it-Coast Guard, EPA, NTSB, state, local-- but there are only so many pairs of hands and, you know, getting oil out of water. You try it sometime. SAM Yeah. Listen, thanks again for coming by. EMILY You want me to keep you posted during the day? SAM I'd appreciate it. Good luck. EMILY Thanks. [leaves] CUT TO: INT. OFFICE OF THE WHITE HOUSE COUNSEL - DAY OLIVER Mr. President, do you have life insurance? BARTLET No. OLIVER You have a wife and three kids and no life insurance? BARTLET I have accidental death insurance as well as considerable personal worth. Were I to die, my family would not miss my government salary. OLIVER What about health insurance? BARTLET I don't have any anymore. OLIVER Why not? BARTLET I'm the husband of a doctor and as a Governor and President, the various governments I've led generously... OLIVER Yeah, let me cut to the end of the page, sir. Have you ever signed any document for health insurance or life insurance or any document, which falls under the pains, and penalty of perjury in which you are asked about your health and did not disclose you have MS? BARTLET No. Knocking on the door. OLIVER Yeah. A messenger comes in and gives Leo a note. LEO You should probably make the call. BARTLET Yeah. Excuse me. They all stand. Bartlet quietly exits. Leo turns to Oliver. LEO What do you think? OLIVER I am nowhere close to being able to answer that question. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY CAROL C.J., you wanted to see Jamie Hotchkiss? C.J. No, but yes. CAROL Jamie? JAMIE HOTCHKISS enters C.J.'s office. C.J. Hey, Jamie, how are you doing? JAMIE HOTCHKISS A little pissed about the quote this morning. C.J. I know how you feel. HOTCHKISS My team's been working on this for nine months. You can't get leverage with a rubber crowbar. They are going to jump on this. C.J. Yes, and I'd like to ask you some questions. HOTCHKISS Sure. C.J. There was a meeting about vouchers in the Roosevelt Room last Thursday. Were you part of it? HOTCHKISS I've been in on all those meetings from the beginning. C.J. Right, and have you talked to Terry Cashin of the Baltimore Sun in the last four days? HOTCHKISS What? C.J. I was wondering, if in the last four days... HOTCHKISS You're asking me if I'm the leak? C.J. I was going to be a little more circumspect. HOTCHKISS [stands quickly] I can tell. C.J. Jamie... HOTCHKISS I've been working on this for nine months. C.J. And frankly -- and I don't say this to you enough -- doing a very good job. HOTCHKISS Thank you. C.J. Do you happen to know who the leak is? HOTCHKISS Listen up. I'm not the leak. I don't know who the leak is. If I did, I wouldn't tell you. Any other questions? C.J. No, no, we wrapped that up tight. HOTCHKISS Thank you. [exits] C.J. Carol? CAROL Yeah? C.J. How many more of these do I have? CAROL 1,138. C.J. Okay, after five of them, I'm just going to confess. CAROL Ready for the next one? C.J. Sure. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY Josh walks by Donna at a desk. JOSH They're not done meeting yet? DONNA In the Roosevelt Room? JOSH Yeah. DONNA No. JOSH Okay. Donna gets up and starts after him. DONNA You got a phone message. JOSH From who? DONNA Frank Kelly. JOSH Who's he? DONNA He's a textiles worker in South Carolina making $12.17 an hour with no health insurance. His two kids go to public school. The school's fine, but they've had to cut art and music for budget reasons, and Frank's ten-year-old is just nuts about the trumpet, so the mom does telemarketing at night after the kids have gone to bed to pay for lessons and rent an instrument. Not that art and music are important or that any of us had any fun or met friends doing it. Frank obeys the law and pays his bills. He also pays his taxes, and he called to thank you for sending his money to Mexico. JOSH Does he want me to call back? DONNA Josh... JOSH No, why don't you call him back? Why don't you call him back and remind him that the Mexican consumers who buy his textiles can't afford to buy them anymore. Frank will be laid off. Which isn't a problem there are plenty of jobs out there for a 48-year-old textiles worker just as long as he's trained in high-tech computers and/or medical research. DONNA Oh, like the $30 billion is going to make it into the pocket of Mexican consumers. JOSH Eventually it does. And we're not giving them the money, we're giving them our credit card and paying the bill. It's a loan. We did the same thing six years ago -- the loan was paid back ahead of schedule. DONNA And we did the same thing four years before that, too, right? JOSH Yes. DONNA And five years before that? JOSH Yes. DONNA AA's definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. I'm not cheap, nor am I xenophobic. I just think it's time for some tough love. JOSH Well, not right here in front of everybody, Donna, but if you want to run home and get your equipment... DONNA Go away from me. JOSH The telemarketing was a nice detail but you should've said, "scrubbed floors." DONNA I thought it'd be too much. JOSH Yeah, probably. CUT TO: INT. AINSLEY'S OFFICE - DAY There is a Bach piece playing softly. Knock on the door. AINSLEY Come in. Sam enters. SAM Hey. AINSLEY Hello, Sam. SAM You did some decorating. AINSLEY Yeah. SAM A woman's touch. AINSLEY It was a guy named Kirk. SAM Hang on, I know this piece of music. I love it. AINSLEY Isn't it great? SAM No, but there's a reason I like it. AINSLEY Well, it's beautiful. SAM But there's another reason, hang on. AINSLEY It's called "Air on a G String." Could that be...? SAM Yes. Thank you. AINSLEY What do you need? SAM A lawyer. AINSLEY Well, you came to the wrong place. SAM Seriously. AINSLEY Are you in trouble? SAM No, I'm not. I just want to ask you some questions. You've been covering the Attorneys General for Maryland and Delaware this morning, right? AINSLEY On the oil spill. SAM Yeah. AINSLEY They'll hold a joint press conference this afternoon to announce that they're seeking damages. SAM How much? AINSLEY Who can say at this point, but if I had to guess I'd say in the area of $100 million for cleanup costs, probably another three or $400 million punitive. I know how you feel about these things, trust me. Kensington's going to pay it through the nose. SAM No, they're not. AINSLEY I think you're wrong. SAM Somebody's going to pay. It's not going to be them. AINSLEY You think their liability shield is that strong? SAM I do. AINSLEY How do you know? SAM 'Cause I'm the one who bought them the boat. I bought the Indio for them when I was at Gage Whitney. AINSLEY Wow. [beat] Talk about your chickens coming home to roost. SAM Yeah, but what I was thinking was this. I know this is going to sound crazy but I was thinking, if I could be deposed for the plaintiffs... AINSLEY Why? SAM Because... Look, I was very proud of myself for making such a great deal and it really sealed it for me with the partners and they were about to make me one. And it really didn't bother me that the boat was cheap for a reason. But then, at the 11th hour, I had a change of heart. For whatever reason, I had a change of heart and I told them the boat wasn't good enough, particularly with regards to the steering and navigation systems, which, of course, they already knew, and I suggested they spend more money, and they said... AINSLEY Stop talking right now! SAM $11 million extra dollars. AINSLEY Sam... SAM They laughed me out of the room. AINSLEY Stop talking, or I'm walking out. [beat] You know better. Neither you nor your clients abdicated attorney-client privilege when you left Gage. If you gave that deposition, you'd be disbarred. And even if you were willing to be disbarred, there's no judge in the country who'd allow privileged testimony. SAM Ainsley, unless a company like this is forced to fork over so much money they don't want to go on living -- unless they're compelled to pay $500 million -- there's no incentive for them to pay the extra 11 million to make the boat safer. AINSLEY Yes. SAM All right. It was just an idea. AINSLEY Hey, you never know. With the liability shield? Maybe you're not as good as you think. SAM Yeah, I am. Sam exits. CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY Mrs. Landingham walks in as Charlie works at another desk. MRS. LANDINGHAM You still filling out forms, Charlie? CHARLIE Well, I'm going to be filling out forms for quite some time. It's basically going to be my major. MRS. LANDINGHAM What is going to be your major? CHARLIE I really don't know. MRS. LANDINGHAM You going to join the glee club? CHARLIE I don't think so, Mrs. Landingham. MRS. LANDINGHAM Oh, glee club's important. CHARLIE I'm only going to have time for a couple of classes at night. I'm not going to be able to be that gleeful. MRS. LANDINGHAM How about fencing? CHARLIE Fencing? Margaret walks in and watches him go through the schedule. MARGARET You're taking fencing? CHARLIE I'm not taking fencing. MRS. LANDINGHAM He's not taking glee club, either. MARGARET Fencing's good, 'cause you learn the philosophy of self-defense. CHARLIE Well, I usually don't get a lot of people pulling an epee on me in my neighborhood, and my philosophy of self-defense has a lot to do with running as fast as I possibly can. These forms are really out of control, you know that? Look at this six forms for financial aid, three forms for housing, and I'm not using their housing, a form for roommate preference, and I'm not using their housing, emergency contacts, general activity information, transfer of credits, and a 14-page form... Charlie freezes. MARGARET What? MRS. LANDINGHAM Charlie, what? CHARLIE Hang on, please. [long pause] Margaret, I need to speak to Leo. MARGARET He's in a meeting with Oliver Babish. CHARLIE Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, I need to speak to him right now, please. [beat] Tell him it's an old friend from home. MARGARET You sure? CHARLIE Yeah. Margaret exits. CUT TO: INT. OFFICE OF THE WHITE HOUSE COUNSEL - DAY Oliver and Leo are alone. OLIVER He's acting a little pissy, wouldn't you say? LEO You're a little pissy too, there, my friend. OLIVER Yeah, well, I'm pissed. LEO No kidding. OLIVER You weren't when you found out? LEO I was, but then I remembered. OLIVER What? LEO That I'm a drunk, and he didn't give a damn. OLIVER You guys going to go public? LEO I don't know. What do you think? OLIVER Not up to me. Up to the policy advisors. LEO Well, I think you're about to be one of them. OLIVER I don't know if I'm staying yet. LEO You're staying. OLIVER Why? LEO 'Cause I'm running this show, and I picked you. I didn't bring you here for amicus briefs. OLIVER Leo... LEO I mean, in the two and a half hours we've been sitting here have you discovered one thing that he's done wrong? OLIVER No. LEO So, what's your problem? OLIVER That's my problem, Leo. Are you out of your mind? He did everything right. He did everything you do if your intent is to perpetrate a fraud. Knock on the door. OLIVER Come in. STAFFER Excuse me. Mr. McGarry, Margaret just called to say that Charlie Young needs to speak with you. LEO I can't right now. It'll have to wait. STAFFER She said to mention something about an old friend from home. LEO I'll be right back. Leo exits. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OUTER OFFICE - DAY Charlie is waiting next to Margaret's desk. Leo enters, then Leo and Charlie go into LEO'S OFFICE. Leo closes the door before they sit by the table. LEO What is it? [beat] Charlie, you can talk to me. What is it? [beat] Charlie... CHARLIE When Zoey and Ellie went to college... [beat] When they went to college they would've had to fill out a health form. LEO What are you...? CHARLIE On the form, they ask for a number of things, including a complete family medical history. LEO God. [beat] Charlie... [beat] How did you know he was sick? How did you know that the President was sick? [beat] Charlie... CHARLIE Leo... [beat] If you're under 18 when you start as a freshman... if you're under 18, you need a parent's signature. LEO [beat] Okay. [beat] Okay. CHARLIE I'm sorry, I know... LEO No, it's okay. CHARLIE I just thought it was... LEO You absolutely did the right thing. [beat] Okay. [beat] Okay. Go back to work. Charlie exits. LEO Margaret? Margaret enters. LEO I need to see all of Zoey Bartlet's Admissions paperwork for Georgetown. MARGARET I don't think they'll release that to me. LEO No, you call Pat Carr, the family lawyer and you tell him I want it. MARGARET Can I tell him why? LEO Margaret, just get it right now, would you? Margaret exits. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY C.J. is seated behind her desk. Donna is seated on the other side of the desk. C.J. And Josh was in the Roosevelt Room meeting last Thursday, right? DONNA Yes. C.J. And do you recall him talking to you about what went on? DONNA Um, I don't know. He might have. I don't know. C.J. It's important. DONNA I'll try to remember. C.J. 'Cause somebody might've overheard you talking to him. DONNA Yeah, there's so much to remember. [sighs] C.J. Are you okay? DONNA It's just... I'll be fine. C.J. And... and you yourself didn't talk to anybody, did you? Donna looks up guiltily at C.J. C.J. Donna? DONNA C.J., I can't... C.J. What? DONNA I can't lie like this anymore. C.J. Are you saying it was you? DONNA I feel horrible. I should've said something before, but I was afraid of what you'd... C.J. No, it's okay. DONNA No, let me get this off my chest. It was me. I called Terry Cashin. C.J. Why? DONNA I don't know. Why does anybody do anything? C.J. [in disbelief] What are you talking about? DONNA I'm a madwoman, C.J. And it doesn't stop with the leak. C.J. [horrified] What do you mean? DONNA Call the authorities. Send them to my parent's house in Madison. C.J. Why? DONNA They'll find the Lindbergh baby in the basement. C.J. [finally catching up] Okay... [slaps her hands on her desk] DONNA Also some post-its reminding me where I put Jimmy Hoffa. C.J. Get out! DONNA I framed Roger Rabbit. [makes funny face] C.J. Get out! Donna chuckles as she gets up. She stops in the doorway. DONNA I'm going to the place. You want a salad? C.J. Thanks. Donna leaves. C.J. Carol! CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - CONTINUOUS JOSH Did you confess? DONNA She didn't let me get to Whittaker Chambers and the secret pumpkin. JOSH You got a phone call while you were in there. DONNA From who? JOSH Europe in 1939. DONNA Yeah? JOSH Yeah, I jotted it down. Apparently they're at war, but we've taken a firm stand as an isolationist nation and refused to get involved. Our resources are our own and their problems are on the other side of the world. Though, they do have problems. It sounds to me from what they said on the phone that France, Austria, and England are getting absolutely pounded by the Germans, and with no end in sight. They say that by 1941 they're gonna desperately need our help if they have any chance of survival. But I think they're just being hysterical. This son of a customs agent with the Charlie Chaplin mustache ain't going anywhere. But there's no telling that to Franklin Roosevelt, who's trying to convince his country they need to get involved. That's why he came up with this. They are now in JOSH'S OFFICE. Josh hands her a book. DONNA An eighth-grade social studies textbook? JOSH Turn to the page I flagged. DONNA The Lend-Lease Act. JOSH Yeah. Simply put, a loan of arms to Russia and Britain, with the understanding that they'd pay us back when the war was over. And he said this, he said, "If your neighbor's house is on fire, you don't haggle over the price of your garden hose." Frank Kelly in South Carolina wouldn't... There are too many things in the world we can't do. Mexico's on fire. Why help them? Because we can. DONNA Did they agree to the money? JOSH Yeah. Donna hands Josh the book. They both smile at each other. DONNA Okay. [leaves] CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY C.J. is once again seated behind her desk. Zach is seated across from her. ZACH You shouldn't feel bad about this. C.J. Everyone hates me. ZACH Nah, they'll get over it. C.J. You think? ZACH Sure. You're just doing your job. C.J. That's exactly right. ZACH And this is really important. C.J. You're the first one who's understood that. ZACH You mind if I give you a suggestion that may make this go faster? C.J. Sure. ZACH [wryly] If you dunk the suspect in a deep well of water, and they drown, it means they're not a witch. C.J. All right, that's it! [slaps hands on desk, totally exasperated] C.J. stands up and marches toward the door. Zach throws his arms open as if in religious ecstasy. ZACH I saw Lizzie Proctor speaking with the devil! C.J. Shut up! [walks out into the hallway] CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY Sam is seated on the sofa reading a report. Toby is sitting on a chair. SAM 720,000 gallons covering close to 100 square miles. 10,000 blue and horseshoe crabs are dead, so that's a $25 million dollar industry that can start looking for jobs at the local Dairy Queen. 12,500 starfish, flounder and bass. $342 million estimated lost to the tourism economy based on beach communities. You ever wonder why you never hear anything about a boatload of Honda Civics spilling into the ocean? TOBY What? SAM Were you listening? TOBY Yeah... No. I'm sorry, no. C.J. strides through the door looking very determined. C.J. Excuse me, Sam, would you mind? SAM No. Sam gets up and leaves. C.J. slams the door behind him. C.J. It's me, okay? I am Spartacus. TOBY Look... C.J. It was a leak. Leaks happen. They've happened since the beginning of time. In this White House, in every White House. There's no malicious intent. Things get out. It's a company town. Everybody talks to everybody, and junior staffers try to impress reporters by showing they're in the know. There is no group of people this large in the world that can keep a secret. I find it comforting. It's how I know for sure the government isn't covering up aliens in New Mexico. [pause] Toby, I've issued a blanket email to 1,100 staffers about the incident. I've asked the President to let me make a clarification for tomorrow morning. I've seen to it it'll be on page one. We're not gonna lose an inch of ground in the negotiation. TOBY [wearily] No, we're not. C.J. No, we're not. And you knew that since this morning. TOBY Yes, I did. C.J. Yeah. So what's this about? A lengthy silence falls between them. Toby gets up and stands behind his desk. TOBY This is small potatoes. I want to know, when the big potatoes come, are we up for it? C.J. Big potatoes? Toby, we ran for election. We lived through Leo and booze, Sam and prostitutes, India and Pakistan, Colombia and a failed rescue mission. Are there bigger potatoes someplace? TOBY [quietly, not meeting her gaze] No. C.J. [sharply, looking very concerned] Toby? Toby looks up at her, and shifts his weight slightly from side to side. TOBY Yeah? C.J. Why are you lying to me? TOBY I'm not. [clears his throat] Thanks for doing that stuff today. [more shifting] It was... C.J. stares at him silently, looking extremely unconvinced. TOBY Thanks. C.J. turns and leaves without saying anything. Toby watches her go and sighs. CUT TO: EXT. WHITE HOUSE PORTICO - NIGHT Charlie is seated on a bench with his hands in his lap. Bartlet walks toward him, through pools of light, from the direction of the Residence. Charlie stands up. BARTLET Sit down. Don't be scared. They both sit down on the bench. Charlie stares straight ahead without looking at Bartlet. Bartlet turns toward Charlie. BARTLET My youngest daughter's got a big mouth. A lengthy silence falls between them. Bartlet looks uncomfortable. CHARLIE No, she doesn't, sir. She wanted me to be on the lookout for certain physical signs so I could tell the First Lady. Several moments pass while Bartlet absorbs this information. He sighs. BARTLET We won't discuss this any more for the time being. It'll be public soon enough. And the more conversations you have with me, the more lawyers you're gonna have to talk to, and they bill in an hour what you take home in a week, so we won't discuss it except to say this. You're gonna be subpoenaed. I'm confident in your loyalty to me. I'm confident in your love for me. If you lie to protect me, if you lie just once, if you lie just a little, if you lie 'cause you can't stand what's happening to me and the people making it happen, if you ever, ever lie... Charlie finally looks over at Bartlet. BARTLET ...you're finished with me, you understand? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET Say you understand. CHARLIE I understand, sir. BARTLET Go back to work. CHARLIE Yes, sir. They both stand up. Bartlet walks toward the Oval Office. CHARLIE Is there anything you need? BARTLET [turns around] I need you to go to law school and graduate as soon as humanly possible. CHARLIE Yes, sir. Charlie turns to go inside. Bartlet walks toward the entrance to the Oval Office. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Oliver stands in the middle of the room and turns as Bartlet enters. OLIVER Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET Well, I've got good news for you, Oliver. Turns out I didn't do everything right after all. Zoey had to fill out a family history form for Georgetown and because she was 17, a parent had to sign it. OLIVER And she left off the MS? BARTLET Yeah. OLIVER And you signed it? BARTLET I'd give anything if I had. It was Lady Macbeth. [pause] There's a bad moon rising, Oliver. We both know it. They're gonna take me out for a walk. Bartlet sits down on the sofa. Oliver remains standing. BARTLET This isn't what you signed up for. Leo begged you to take this job. This isn't what you signed up for. If you leave, I'd appreciate it if you did it now, so it doesn't look like my lawyer bailed on me when the rain starts. No one's gonna hold it against you. OLIVER Well, I appreciate that, Mr. President. [pause] If I stay, will you do exactly what I tell you to do? BARTLET I guess it depends. OLIVER No, I'm afraid it can't depend, sir. A lengthy silence falls between them. Bartlet stands up, his hands in his pockets, and walks slowly toward his desk. BARTLET What would my first step be? OLIVER First, tell your staff. BARTLET Yeah. OLIVER Then, decide how to make a public announcement. BARTLET Yeah. OLIVER Then order the Attorney General to appoint a Special Prosecutor. Not just any Special Prosecutor - the most blood-spitting, Bartlet-hating Republican in the Bar. Oliver walks slowly but purposefully toward Bartlet. OLIVER He's gonna have an unlimited budget and a staff like an army. The new slogan around here is gonna be "Bring it on." He's gonna have access to every piece of paper you ever touched. If you invoke executive privilege one time, I'm gone. An assistant DA in Ducksworth wants to take your deposition, you're on the next plane. A freshman Congressman wants your testimony, you'll sit in his kitchen. They wanna drag you to The Hague and charge you with war crimes, what do we say? Bartlet stares silently at Oliver for several moments. BARTLET [quietly] Bring it on. OLIVER [nods ever so slightly] I'll be in my office for a while if you need me. Oliver turns and leaves. Bartlet turns toward his desk, his hands in his pockets. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 2.19 -- “Bad Moon Rising” Original Airdate: April 25, 2001, 9:00 PM EST