THE WEST WING “20 HOURS IN L.A.” WRITTEN BY: AARON SORKIN DIRECTED BY: ALAN TAYLOR TEASER FADE IN: EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT 2:38 A.M. EST CUT TO: INT. BARTLET’S LIMOUSINE - CONTINUOUS Bartlet and Leo are inside the limousine. It’s headed for the airport. BARTLET I don't like putting him in this position. LEO I know. BARTLET I just don't want you to think that I'm getting any pleasure in putting him in this position. LEO Well, he knew the vote was going to be tight. BARTLET It's ironic. LEO Yeah. BARTLET I mean it's ironic that it all comes down to a vote on the ethanol tax credit. LEO Yeah. BARTLET 50-50 tie. LEO I understand the irony. BARTLET Are you being brusque with me? LEO It's 3 o'clock in the morning. BARTLET I'm just saying you can't blame me. It's what you get from having an even number of senators. LEO Yeah, you should blame the constitution. BARTLET That's what I usually do. LEO Yep. BARTLET [to Ron in front] Ron, am I going to meet her on the plane? RON Yes, sir. BARTLET [to Leo] Zoey got a new agent on her detail. LEO I heard. BARTLET Have you seen these new agents? LEO I've seen them. BARTLET They've got the hair, the backpacks, the clothes. Walking around campus strapped to a 44 magnum. LEO They really blend in, huh? BARTLET Let me tell you something, when it's your kid, you don't want them blending in. You want them wearing a sign that says, "I'm carrying a loaded gun, and the safety's off." LEO [pause] Can I say this one last time? BARTLET No. LEO If you get tired-- BARTLET Leo. LEO Stay at the hotel for the night. BARTLET I won't get tired. LEO You're not going to sleep on the plane, you're going to be running around all day, and then you've got the fundraiser to do at night. BARTLET I want to come home after the fundraiser. LEO That's a full day and night. Round trip, D.C. to L.A. in 24 hours. It's really no good for you. BARTLET It'll be fine. LEO [beat] Be that way. BARTLET Your impersonation of my mother is getting sharper and sharper, you know that? LEO Thank you. CUT TO: INT. ANDREWS AIR FORCE BASE - NIGHT The limo pulls up to the Air Force One on the tarmac. Bartlet and Leo step out. LEO Have a good flight, Mr. President. BARTLET I'll see you tomorrow. He sees C.J. and Charlie, who are walking up to the limo. They join him in walking up the stairs to the plane. BARTLET C.J.! Charlie! My flying companions! C.J. Good morning, Mr. President. CHARLIE Good morning, sir. BARTLET Is everybody on board? C.J. Yes, sir. BARTLET Press in a good mood? C.J. No, Mr. President, I wouldn't say they were. BARTLET Why not? C.J. Well, they're not wild about taking off at 3 0'clock in the morning, sir. BARTLET Oh, it's going to be great. We're going to race the sun to the pacific horizon! C.J. I'll be sure to tell them that, sir. I'm sure it'll pick them right up. CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE - CONTINUOUS Bartlet, followed by C.J. and Charlie, enters Air Force One, walking down the aisle as he talks to people. BARTLET Morning, Everyone. Sam, it's going to be 50-50 on the ethanol tax credit. SAM I can still make a couple of calls. BARTLET Make all the calls you want, it's going to be 50-50. Josh and Toby join Bartlet as he walks down the aisle. TOBY Sir, Josh and I would at least like the opportunity to talk about the Al Kiefer meeting. BARTLET You two are so freaked out about this Al Kiefer meeting. JOSH Sir. Bartlet stops and picks up the intercom phone on the wall of the plane. BARTLET We'll listen to him, Josh. JOSH Yes, sir. BARTLET You two want to see the best part about having my job? [into the Intercom] Colonel, this is the president. I'm ready to go. The engines fire up as Bartlet hangs up the phone. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. AIR FORCE ONE - NIGHT 3:45 AM EST C.J. and Donna chat in their seats, camera slowly pans to see Josh, Toby and Sam sitting next and across from them, Josh and Sam hunkered in and eyes shut, but not necessarily asleep. DONNA It's fantastic. It's Clinique's city block oil for daily face protector. C.J. SPF-15? DONNA I brought the SPF-15 and the SPF-30. C.J. Have you tried the Lancome high-protection sunstick for face and lips? DONNA No, did you bring it? C.J. Plus the Elizabeth Arden modern skin care daily moisturizer. TOBY The two of you understand that we're going to be in California for one day? C.J. There's tanning time between 2 and 4. DONNA And I have sensitive alabaster skin. C.J. Me too. JOSH Cameron’s going to introduce a bill tomorrow. SAM [eyes still shut] Gays in the military? JOSH Yup. C.J. It's Cameron. Who cares? JOSH I have a feeling Ted Marcus might care. SAM He's not going to know. JOSH He might. TOBY You've been in the air all night, you don't know anything, you'll get back to him. JOSH Yeah. C.J. Plus, it's Cameron. So, who cares? JOSH Marcus is going to care. CHARLIE [walking up] C.J., you wanted me to let you know when it looked like he was heading for the cockpit? C.J. Thank you. [getting up] This man has got to be stopped! CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE - NIGHT Zoey is reading on a couch. Charlie sits down next to her. CHARLIE How you doing? ZOEY Hi. CHARLIE Listen, uh, I don't know if I'm going to be able to be as attentive on this trip as you would like. ZOEY That's okay. You’re working. CHARLIE Well, I've been trying to listen to some of the many lessons you've been giving me on how to be a better boyfriend and I know that attentiveness-- ZOEY No, this is one of the times when it's okay. CHARLIE Okay. It's hard to tell the difference between those times and the other times. ZOEY I know. Doesn't that suck for you? CHARLIE A little bit, yeah. CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE - NIGHT Ron Butterfield is escorting a woman to Bartlet's cabin. RON Don't be nervous. WOMAN Yeah. Ron knocks on the door. BARTLET [OS] Come on in. Inside THE PRESIDENT’S ROOM, Bartlet is sitting at his desk as Ron and the woman, Special Agent GINA TOSCANO, enter. RON Mr. President, this is special agent Gina Toscano. BARTLET [shaking her hand] How do you do? GINA TOSCANO How do you do, Mr. President? RON I'll step out, sir. BARTLET Thank you, Ron. Ron exits. BARTLET [to Gina] I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to meet before now. You've been with Zoey's detail, what? GINA Two weeks today, sir. BARTLET You were in the army? GINA Yes, sir. BARTLET How did you get there? GINA I was Army ROTC. BARTLET Where? GINA University of Virginia. BARTLET You were a Mountaineer. GINA That's West Virginia, Mr. President. I'm a Cavalier. BARTLET With a degree in? GINA Criminology, sir. BARTLET So, you were commissioned a second lieutenant? GINA Yes, sir, with military police. BARTLET How old are you? GINA I'm 27, sir. BARTLET How long have you trained for this assignment? GINA A year and a half, sir. BARTLET What, were you the first one to sign up? GINA Yes, sir. BARTLET All right. Gina sits down. BARTLET You know Zoey's dating my body man, Charlie Young, right? GINA Yes, sir. BARTLET You know about the letters? GINA Of course, sir. BARTLET Are they white supremacists? GINA I can't tell you for sure, Mr. President. We've been working fairly closely with the Southern Poverty Law Center and their database. BARTLET You don't have an artist's sketch, or psychological profiles, or anything? GINA Not much of either one, Mr. President, but I know what I'm looking for in a crowd if that's what you're asking me, sir. BARTLET It is. GINA Yes, sir. BARTLET Okay. Zoey's 19 and she wants to be a teenager. She wants a college experience, and I can't blame her. I loved college. So did my other daughters. I want Zoey to be comfortable with her protection, I don't want her to try and give you the slip. It's not your job to tell me she wants to cut English Lit, it's not your job to tell me if she's dying her hair blue, or going to a strip club, or whatever it is she's doing with her friends. You know what your job is. GINA Yes, sir. BARTLET Thank you. GINA [gets up and shakes his hand] Thank you, Mr. President. BARTLET Gina? GINA Yes, sir? BARTLET If she's cutting English Lit, I want to know about it. GINA No deal, Mr. President. BARTLET Okay. Bartlet smiles as Gina exits. CUT TO: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY We see a long view of the White House down 17th Street. WASHINGTON, D.C. 6:30 AM EST CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Larry and Ed are following Leo to his office. LEO [VO] We didn't say it enough. LARRY We agree. LEO Ethanol accounts for 20 percent of Iowa's corn crop. ED Which doesn't mean a lot outside of Iowa. LARRY But still. ED The Ethanol tax credit created... LARRY It created 16,000 new jobs. LEO That's what we never said enough. LARRY We agree. Is it over? LEO Sam's been calling senators from the plane for the past hour and a half. The next time my phone rings, it's going to be him telling me it's over. ED At least we're going to win. LEO Yeah. Margaret enters the LEO'S OFFICE as Larry and Ed exit. LEO Good morning. MARGARET Good morning, Leo. You need to sign this. LEO [signs] Okay. MARGARET And this. LEO [signs] Okay. MARGARET Where it says your name, Leo. You're not the Belgian Foreign Minister. LEO Look, I said I was sorry. MARGARET I'm not upset. LEO I had to stay behind for this. MARGARET Of course. LEO There will be other trips, Margaret. MARGARET I know. [Leo looks at her] There will be other trips. LEO Good. MARGARET Just not to California. LEO Yes, to California. MARGARET When? LEO They've got 54 electoral votes out there. Something tells me that we're not going to be strangers. The phone rings. Margaret answers. MARGARET Leo McGarry's office. [hands the phone to Leo] It's Sam. [heads for the door] LEO [to Margaret] Get the Vice President over here. [to Sam] Yeah. CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE 5:40 AM PST In the Press section of Air Force One the reporters are sleeping. C.J. walks up the aisle. C.J. You guys? Everyone? Sorry, but we're landing in a few minutes, and I just wanted to brief everyone on the President's schedule. The President will be greeted at the airport by Congressmen Hark and Jennsen, the Mayor and various City Council Members. It's photos only, no formal remarks. We will depart the airport at 6:20 and head for the hotel, at which point I predict that we will no longer be on schedule. CUT TO: EXT. AIRPORT - DAY The Air Force One is pulling up on the tarmac. C.J. [VO] At that time, the President will get his morning security briefing, followed by 2 hours of personal staff time. CUT TO: EXT. LOS ANGELES AREA - DAY The motorcade is making its way down Sepulveda Boulevard. C.J. [VO] At 10 am, we leave for Orange County, where the President has a meeting with civil leaders to hear discussion on the current proposal to amend the Constitution to prohibit burning the flag. At 3pm, we head out to a church in South Central for a town hall meeting on school vouchers. CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE SHERATON HOTEL - DAY The press vans are pulling up to the Sheraton Universal. C.J. [VO] That takes us to tonight and the event you've all been waiting for, the fundraiser at the home of Theodore Marcus. The press will wear coats and ties, and you will stay in the roped-off area outside, unless you've got $50,000 a couple to take a look at the good stuff. Welcome to Los Angeles, where the local time is 5:40 AM, and the temperature is... ooh, a balmy 73 degrees. CUT TO: INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - DAY Josh is trying to get his door open at the hotel. Donna walks up as he's struggling with his card key. DONNA Josh. JOSH Yeah. DONNA Need any help with your luggage, there? JOSH No, you're fine. Donna arrives with a few small paper slips, while Josh struggles with the door handle. DONNA There were messages for you at the desk. JOSH I've spent half the nights in my life in hotel rooms, and I still cannot... DONNA Dave Levy. JOSH Later. You sure this isn't for your room? DONNA It's for your room. Mandy? JOSH Ugh, later. You sure? DONNA It's for your room. The deputy whip? JOSH Later. You know, there used to be keys... DONNA Hold on. [takes the card from him and sticks it in the door.] JOSH You stuck it in, you turned it, you... Donna opens the door easily. JOSH I loosened it for you. Inside the HOTEL ROOM, Josh gets settled in. DONNA Ron Dreyfuss from political affairs. JOSH Later. DONNA Joey Lucas. JOSH Really? DONNA Yeah. JOSH She called? DONNA Yes. JOSH She's here. DONNA In this hotel. JOSH She's here in this hotel. DONNA Yes. She's at the fundraiser tonight. JOSH Really. DONNA Yes. JOSH Why did she call? DONNA To tell you that she's here in this hotel and she's coming to the fundraiser tonight. JOSH Really. DONNA Yes. JOSH Huh. DONNA Josh, you've got a crush on Joey Lucas, and I really think you should do something about it, because you're starting to bother me. JOSH Well, that's something I really care about. DONNA Call her right now. JOSH I'll see her tonight. DONNA Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Josh. Do you know what that means? It means you should take this time to gather rosebuds, because later on you might not be able to. JOSH Interpreting the classics with Poet Laureate Donnatella Moss. DONNA I'm just saying, call her and stop bugging me. JOSH So, let's call her. DONNA Really? JOSH Yeah. Let's do it. Call her, and then we'll do everyone else. DONNA I have alabaster skin, you know. JOSH Dial the phone. DONNA I'm just saying. Also, Ted Marcus called. JOSH What? DONNA Ted Marcus called. JOSH Hang on. [beat] I'd better call him first. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: EXT. TED MARCUS' MANSION - DAY 8:05 AM, PST A taxi pulls up to a large mansion in Bel Air. Josh gets out the taxi as TED MARCUS walks down the long flight of stairs and exits the house to greet him. JOSH Good morning. You beat me to the door. Josh extends his hand. MARCUS ignores it, and turns to go back into the house. Josh follows him, looking around in wonder. TED MARCUS Cameron introduced his resolution on the floor this morning. JOSH I didn't know that. MARCUS House Resolution 973. JOSH This is a beautiful house. MARCUS Banning gays in the military. JOSH I've been on a plane all night. MARCUS He introduced it on the floor this morning. JOSH Seriously, Studio Chairman -- nice work if you can get it. MARCUS Josh, let's not talk about my house. JOSH What do you want to talk about? MARCUS What do I want to talk about? JOSH Ted, I checked into my hotel room 15 minutes ago, what did you haul my ass out here for? MARCUS I think you'd better watch your general tone with me, I'm sending you home tomorrow with two and a half million dollars. They reach the back of the house, where workers are preparing for the evening fundraiser. JOSH Cameron's bill is a joke. MARCUS Not to me. JOSH It's the House. It's procedure. Do you know how many bills get introduced every day that never get a hearing, let alone a vote? MARCUS That's it? JOSH Yeah. MARCUS You came to me with that? JOSH I came to you because you told me to, now I've got a cab waiting outside... MARCUS Yeah, you're right. JOSH Don't worry about it. MARCUS I'm being silly. JOSH You're worried about nothing. I'll see you later. The President's looking forward to the party this evening. MARCUS Excellent. Josh turns to leave. MARCUS [to workers] Fellas, you can pack it up, the party's off. JOSH Ted. Ted? MARCUS Everybody, Carmine, I'm afraid it's not going to happen. CARMINE The food, the flowers? MARCUS Give 'em out to the guys. JOSH You're a rotten bluffer, Ted. MARCUS You're right, that's why I never do it. JOSH You're not going to cancel the fundraiser. MARCUS In fact, I already did. JOSH This is the President. MARCUS The President is going to be eating room service tonight. JOSH Ted. MARCUS You've got a cab waiting. JOSH That was abrupt. I apologize. MARCUS Your apology is accepted. JOSH You can't cancel the fundraiser. MARCUS Yet, witness the loading of the trucks. JOSH This is ridiculous. You're going to be a joke to our people. MARCUS Disrespected by the Democratic Party? Whatever will I do? JOSH Ted. MARCUS Particularly with my 3 billion dollars. JOSH Ted, no one is going to pass a bill banning gays in the military. And if the House ever passed such a bill, if the Senate every passed such a bill, the President would never sign such a bill. MARCUS Fantastic. JOSH Okay? MARCUS Fantabulous. JOSH So, you're not going to flake on me. MARCUS We're fine. JOSH So, the party's still on? MARCUS You bet. JOSH Good. MARCUS As soon as I hear the President say what you just said to me. JOSH Look-- MARCUS Give me a call and let me know what time I should be tuned to my television to hear him say what you just said. JOSH That's not going to happen, and you know it. MARCUS Then we've got a problem. Don't screw around with me, Josh. I've been President a lot longer than he has. CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Leo is in his office, looking over papers. Margaret enters. MARGARET Leo. LEO Yeah. MARGARET The Vice President. HOYNES [enters] Morning, Leo. LEO Good morning, Mr. Vice President. HOYNES Still 50-50, huh? LEO That's the way it's going to stay. HOYNES Did you talk to Huntington? LEO We talked to Huntington. We talked to Gianelli. We talked to Kelly, and Martinson, and Rathburn. HOYNES Recently? LEO This morning. Nobody's moving. HOYNES Well, it kind of looked like it was going to turn out that way. LEO Not to me. I was surprised. HOYNES Well, I was in the Senate with 94 of these guys. LEO Anyway. HOYNES Yeah. LEO The President needs you to go down there and fulfill one of your two constitutional responsibilities and vote for the ethanol tax credit. We need you to break the tie. He also wanted me to tell you that he regrets putting you in this position. HOYNES You got to get me off the hook, Leo. You can't ask me to do this. LEO John, I know exactly how you feel. HOYNES No, Leo, I don't think you do. LEO I know... HOYNES I spent 8 years in the Senate voting against this exact tax credit. I was right, by the way, and I'm still right, but the point is... LEO 16,000 new jobs. 4 billion dollars invested in plants and equipment, because the tax credit made it economical. HOYNES Leo, the ethanol tax credit has accomplished exactly none of its goals. Production is close to nothing. It will never be large enough to reduce our dependence on foreign oil. And it requires substantial energy to produce, which totally washes out any overall conservation effect. LEO John? HOYNES But that's not the point. LEO What's the point? HOYNES The Republicans will make me eat it for dinner when my time comes. And you know that. So let's get serious. CUT TO: INT. A HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY In a conference room in Orange County, a gray-haired man speaks from the head of the table. They are having the discussion about the flag burning amendment. MAN 1 Mr. President, I rise today to say that the American flag is probably the most recognized symbol in the world. Wherever it stands, it represents freedom. Millions of American citizens, who have served our nation in war, have carried that flag into battle. They have been killed just for wearing it on their uniforms, because it represents the most feared deterrent to tyranny. And that is liberty. Bartlet and others clap. MAN 2 [stands] Mr. President, This is not a perfect nation, but to the world outside, it represents what is right. And to Americans, it represents what Chief Justice Charles Evans Hughes... [Josh, Toby and Sam walk out the door to a courtyard.] ...referred to as our national unity, our national endeavor. CUT TO: EXT. COURTYARD - CONTINUOUS Josh, Toby and Sam stand by the fence. JOSH I just came from Ted Marcus's. TOBY What did he want? JOSH He's threatening to cancel tonight unless the President comes out publicly against 973. SAM This is one of Cameron's... TOBY It's not going anywhere. JOSH I explained that. SAM And what did he say? JOSH He takes it seriously for obvious reasons, and he is distressed by the President's silence on the subject, and he feels that it's a betrayal of the gay community for him to be so publicly supportive of the President. TOBY All right. It is not in the interest of his cause for the President to make a public statement today. It'll give credibility and attention... JOSH Right. SAM And use all those words when you talk to him. Tell him that surely a man of his media savvy will understand that the President can't be quite so publicly blackmailed! TOBY And, should the President choose to stay in his hotel room tonight and not kowtow to the Hollywood blah, blah, blah, it will only serve to solidify his public reputation with the electorate as a man of character. SAM Frankly, that buys us more than 2 and a half million dollars worth of support, anyway. TOBY Use those words, and tell him if he goes ahead with the party, he gets 10 minutes alone in a room with the President. JOSH All right, I can sell that. SAM Let's go back. JOSH How's he doing in there? SAM Oh, he's got that look on his face like he's thinking about ways to kill himself. CUT TO: INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS Bartlet has that exact look on his face as a woman speaks. WOMAN It is disgraceful that some individuals would desecrate the flag that our nation's veterans fought so valiantly to protect. [More applause as she sits.] MAN 3 Mr. President, it is imperative that we enact legal protections... [Charlie walks over to Bartlet and whispers in his ear] ...for our flag, and I rise in strong support for the flag desecration constitutional amendment. BARTLET I'm sorry. I've actually been told that I have to go now. This is a debate that is obviously going to continue in town halls, city halls, state legislatures, and the U.S. House of Representatives. There is a population in this country that seems to focus so much time and energy into this conversation, so much so that I am forced to ask this question -- is there an epidemic of flag burning going on that I'm not aware of? CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE THE CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY Secret Service Agents open the doors as Bartlet and his staff walk outside to the limos. BARTLET I mean it, man, is there an emergency-level outbreak of flag desecration no one's kept me posted on? TOBY There is not, so let's blow off the Kiefer meeting. BARTLET Toby, there is no reason for you to feel threatened by Al Kiefer. TOBY I don't. BARTLET Excellent. Because we're doing it over lunch. JOSH I have to eat with Al Kiefer? BARTLET Back at the Hotel. JOSH Sir. BARTLET Better, yet, Charlie, where is Zoey having lunch? CHARLIE A place in Santa Monica called the Playa Cantina? BARTLET Why? CHARLIE She wanted an L.A. experience, Mr. President. BARTLET That supposed to be a good place, Sam? SAM Uh, they make guacamole right in front of you. BARTLET Is that an L.A. experience? CHARLIE I think she meant the people. BARTLET Well, there aren't going to be any people today. CHARLIE Will you be joining her, sir? BARTLET Sounds like fun, doesn't it? CHARLIE Sir, wouldn't it be easier back at the hotel? BARTLET Yeah, but the hotel wouldn't make the guacamole right in front of me. CHARLIE How much do you want to bet they would? JOSH Sir, I need a minute to talk about Ted Marcus. BARTLET We can do it in the car. Who's talking to Leo? SAM He's with the Vice President now, sir. BARTLET You come in the car, too. CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE THE BUILDING - CONTINUOUS BARTLET, his staff and his agents come out of the building. Outside are a few screaming, cheering people holding signs. TOBY Sir, this lunch with Al Kiefer? BARTLET [looks at a group across the street] Those people over there don't like me too much. JOSH Well, they just haven't taken the time to get to know you like we have, sir. BARTLET You would honestly think there was an epidemic of flag burning going on, endangering countless lives in this country. TOBY Don't put too much stock in what he has to say. BARTLET I'm having lunch with my daughter, Toby. You guys are going to sit with Kiefer, and let me know what's worth listening to. TOBY Yes, sir. BARTLET [to Toby] We'll see you there. TOBY What, I'm not coming in the car? BARTLET No, and you know why? Because you made fun of the guacamole. TOBY I didn't! BARTLET I could tell you were thinking it. TOBY Fair enough. BARTLET Good. Toby walks away as Bartlet and the others get into the limousine. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. THE PLAYA CANTINA - DAY 1:20 PM, PST The restaurant is empty except for the staff and Secret Service Agents. Sam, Toby, Josh and C.J. sit at one table with AL KIEFER. Bartlet and Zoey sit alone at a table nearby. ZOEY Dad, I can't believe you did this. BARTLET Surprised you for lunch, I know, I'm the best. ZOEY Dad, I wanted to have lunch in Los Angeles-- BARTLET You are. ZOEY With people, with L.A. people. I wanted the atmosphere. And they've cleared out the place. BARTLET Yeah, but on the other hand, the guy made guacamole right in front of us. ZOEY Dad! BARTLET This is father/daughter fun time. ZOEY I was having fun. And then you come within 100 meters of me, and my protection, like, quadruples. BARTLET Oh, you know, I hadn't thought about that. [looks around] Now that you mention it, yeah, I think you're right. ZOEY What, is someone after me in California? BARTLET All kinds of things in California, Zoey. You've got your smog, your freeway shootings, brush fires, mudslides. Plus, apparently, there's a mad rash of flag burning going on, and you don't want a piece of that. ZOEY See, you think you're funny. BARTLET Right there, right in front of me, they made the guacamole. Now, how about that? A MOVING SHOT to the table next to them. Al Kiefer speaks. AL KIEFER On the flag burning, the bottom line couldn't be clearer. If he says nothing, he takes a hit, but not a fatal one. If he stands in opposition to the amendment, you can all start updating your resumes. SAM I don't buy that. TOBY Me, neither. C.J. People respect a President who stands by the courage of his convictions. JOSH Al. AL You are looking at this exactly the wrong way. You don't have to play defense. You could lead the charge. TOBY You just said that we couldn't. AL No, I didn't. SAM You just said that if we were vocal in our opposition to flag burning, then we'd take a fatal hit. AL That's right. And I'm saying don't stay quiet, and don't oppose it. Lead the charge the other way. C.J. [laughing] What? BARTLET C.J., has Al said something that I should listen to, yet? C.J. We'll let you know, sir. AL Mr. President, do you want to sew up reelection right now? Do you want a lock on your second term right here, right now in this room? BARTLET What do you got? JOSH Why do you encourage him? BARTLET What do you got, Al? AL A truckload of voters, Mr. President, about 47%. Overwhelmingly white men, pool and patio types. Who voted against you by 20 plus points? [suddenly moves over to Bartlet's table.] They share an affinity towards authority, a President. And they see you as smart and having vision, so why didn't they vote for you? Because they also see you as a wimp. Two-thirds of them on a thermometer place you as some degree of weak. JOSH We've heard these numbers before. BARTLET Yeah, but I never get tired of hearing them, you know. Especially in front of my daughter. AL Look, I get that this is not the most popular idea in the room. But I got numbers, and I know numbers, and I trust numbers. And the reason you're all looking a little pale right now is so do you. This is not theoretical. The flag burning amendment made it through the House with 20 votes over the required two-thirds. It hasn't made it through the Senate yet, but that day will come, that day will come, that day will come soon. Laws against flag burning are favored overwhelmingly in the polls, and a constitutional amendment won't be subject to a Presidential veto, or overturning by the Supreme Court. TOBY Look... AL This all adds up to one thing, Mr. President. It's over! The game's been played and won. But because of guys like me, you get the results before anyone else does, so you get to pick which side you're on. And not only do we get to be on the winning team, we get to lead the winning team. Josh's phone rings. He walks away from the table. JOSH Excuse me. AL Toby, you're smiling. TOBY I just figured out who you were. AL He's going to say Satan. TOBY No. You're the guy that runs into 7-Eleven to get Satan a pack of cigarettes. CHARLIE Mr. President. BARTLET Yeah, Charlie. [to the others] We'll talk about this later. [tightens his tie and gets up] TOBY We will? BARTLET Yeah. CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE THE PLAYA CANTINA - CONTINUOUS Bartlet and his staff are leaving the restaurant, via more screaming, cheering crowds. JOSH Mr. President. BARTLET Men with pools and patios think I'm weak. JOSH I don't want to mention the 49 times we asked you not to take this meeting. BARTLET Was that Marcus on the phone? JOSH Speaking of natives, we sold him on 10 minutes in a room alone with you, tonight. BARTLET No way I can get out of it? JOSH Ten minutes. BARTLET I used to like parties, you know that? As Bartlet gets in his car, Gina and Zoey are just leaving the restaurant. ZOEY I just wanted a regular lunch, you know? In a restaurant, with people? My father sees danger behind the curtains. Gina spots two skinhead boys watching them. GINA Hey, Zoey, do me a favor and walk on the other side of me, would you? ZOEY Gina... GINA Let's get in the car, okay? Gina, one hand on her gun, escorts Zoey into the car, and then knocks on the roof once she's in. CUT TO: EXT. TED MARCUS'S MANSION - NIGHT The fundraiser has started. Secret Service agents with dogs comb the lower lawn, while people party between light strings and flowers. CUT TO: INT. INSIDE THE MANSION - CONTINUOUS Violinists play at the top of the stairwell. C.J. and Toby are at the bottom. C.J. Look at this house! TOBY Yeah. C.J. I mean, look at this house! TOBY It's a nice house. C.J. You know, you haven't said anything about my dress. TOBY You look very nice. C.J. You're not even looking. TOBY I'm looking at the house. A Hollywood-type man, MARK MILLER, walks up to them. MARK MILLER Excuse me, I wanted to introduce myself. I'm Mark Miller. I'm head of new development at Paragon. C.J. C.J. Cregg. TOBY Toby Ziegler. MARK Oh, it's good to meet you both. C.J., I was wondering if my money buys me a few words alone with you. TOBY Throw in a box of chocolates and a pair of nylons, get you a lot more than that. C.J. Sure. C.J. and Mark start to walk off. TOBY I'll be over at the bar, drinking a lot, if anyone wants me. C.J. Nobody will. Toby holds up his glass as Mark and C.J. walk through the house. MARK I'll come right out and say it, C.J. I'm a big fan. C.J. Thank you. MARK Yeah. And I think that there's a place for you in our company. C.J. Doing what? MARK Development. C.J. Of what? MARK Development of projects. C.J. What's that mean? MARK You'd be developing feature projects. C.J. Movies. MARK Yeah. C.J. You know what? You want Toby or Sam. I'm not a writer. MARK Oh, no, we have writers. C.J. Well, I certainly can't direct or act. MARK No, you'd just be in development. C.J. And what's that? MARK Shepherding projects - developing them. C.J. I thought a guy writes a movie, and a guy directs a movie. MARK Sure. C.J. And in between there are designers and technicians and actors. MARK Yes. C.J. So, tell me what I do again? MARK Development. C.J. Okay. Well, at the moment I have a pretty good job and I understand what it is, so, uh, I sure appreciate... [spots Sam walking past] Sam! [to Mark] I appreciate it, Mark, I'm sorry, I've got to talk to Sam about a thing the President wants me to... [She walks away with Sam.] Pretend you're talking to me. SAM I am talking to you. C.J. Walk me outside. SAM Did he offer you a development...? C.J. Yes! SAM Me, too. Do you know what it is? C.J. No. SAM Me, neither. Sam and C.J. move out of camera range as they walk past DAVID HASSELHOFF, talking to Donna and Josh near the pool. DAVID HASSELHOFF "I think there's a basic bedrock principle behind the first amendment. That the government cannot prohibit the expression of an idea just because it's disagreeable." Justice William Brennan, writing for the majority. DONNA I'm a real big fan, David, not just a Johnny-come-lately. It's not just Baywatch and Knight Rider with me. DAVID Well, thank you very much. My point is... DONNA I mean, Nick Fury, Panic at Malibu Pier, the Cartier Affair. Pleasure Cove, for crying out loud. JOSH [dragging Donna away] Excuse us. DONNA [to Josh, about David] He's so into me. JOSH You're frightening the guests. DONNA David Hasselhoff, I'm just saying. JOSH He's married. DONNA This is California, Josh. A girl can dream. JOSH [taking her glass] Stop drinking now. DONNA Matt Perry, right there, goodbye. [wanders off.] CUT TO: INT. TED MARCUS'S MANSION - NIGHT Josh is waking along the pool, amidst the people, as a man calls him from behind. MAN Josh! JOSH I know that voice. Josh turns around to see Joey and her interpreter, Kenny. JOEY [KENNY] How long was it going to take for you to say hello to me? JOSH I got your phone message this morning, but I've been kind of running around. I didn't see you until now. JOEY [KENNY] I saw you. JOSH Well, then you should have said hello to me. JOEY [KENNY] You looked like you were absorbed in high-level conversations. JOSH I can assure you, I was not. JOEY [KENNY] Well, then. JOSH Well then, what? JOEY Hello? JOSH Hello! [chuckles] Look, uh, we're just here for the day... TOBY [walking past] Josh! JOSH Uh, yeah. [to Joey] Can you not, uh, not, uh, just don't leave the party, okay? JOEY [KENNY] Okay. Josh gives her a thumbs up, and follows Toby. CUT TO: EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT Leo escorts Hoynes to his car out front of a building. LEO John, I know we've had our ups and downs, but let me be your guy here for a second. You can't be thinking about being the first vice president in history to break a tie going the other way. HOYNES I'm not looking to make history. LEO Then what are you looking for, John? You're going to get ink either way. HOYNES Leo. LEO I know that it eats at you that there is friction between you and my staff. You think they don't respect you. And they do. They just don't trust you. And frankly, neither does the President. HOYNES Well... LEO I mean I know that's tough. But God, John, I'm the one that convinced him to put you on the ticket. And I'm going to be the one standing here when you make history, whether you're going to or not. HOYNES Leo, one of these days you're going to have to allow for the possibility that my motives might not always be sinister. You are your staff are remarkably smug, and frankly so is the President. And the fact that you think I give a damn that there is some friction between me and your staff is certainly proof enough of that. LEO John, you will not be able to set foot in the West Wing. You will not be on the ticket in three years. HOYNES Leo, I think you guys set me up. LEO You think the President of the United States can arrange for a 50-50 tie in the Senate? HOYNES I think the President of the United States can do pretty much whatever he wants. LEO You're wrong. HOYNES Well. Where's the President right now? LEO At Ted Marcus's fundraiser. HOYNES I think it's time for you to call him. [gets inside his limousine] FADE OUT END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. PRIVATE AREA IN THE MANSION - NIGHT 11:05PM EST Leo and Bartlet are talking on the phone. Leo is alone in his office in the White House, while Bartlet is in a private room at the party with Josh, Toby and Sam, who is holding the receiver so he can talk to Leo. BARTLET We're running out of reasons not to fire him, Leo. LEO Well, when you run out of reasons, the last reason is that you can't fire the Vice President. BARTLET I can ask for his resignation, and don't be a smart ass. LEO Mr. President, I got to tell you something and you won't like the sound of it. BARTLET What? LEO He's right, and we're wrong. BARTLET About what? LEO About the ethanol tax credit. SAM Mr. President, Leo's right. BARTLET Sam's weighing in. SAM Sir, I put Cambridge, Aiello and Dane in a headlock to vote our way, let's send them back. We'll lose 53-47 and we can take the Vice President off the hook. BARTLET All right, let's do what Sam said. LEO Yes, sir. BARTLET I'm not done with Hoynes, but dump it. LEO Sir, the thing about the Vice President in this situation... BARTLET I'll call him from the plane. [hangs up] Christ, will this damn day never end? CUT TO: INT. A PATIO IN THE MANSION - NIGHT VERONICA WEBB and JAY LENO are talking on the patio. VERONICA Jay, you can't drive all those cars you have! JAY Well, no, not all at once. VERONICA I know not all at once, baby, but you have - C.J. walks up to them. JAY Claudia Jean, this is Veronica Webb. C.J. C.J. Cregg. VERONICA Well, hi. Nice to meet you. C.J. Nice to meet you, too. Jay, can I talk to you for a second? JAY Uh, sure. VERONICA Sure. C.J. and Jay walk and talk. C.J. Uh, Jay, the President appreciates your laying off Leo McGarry the past few months. It hasn't gone unnoticed. JAY Hey, you guys give me monologue material every night, you know. C.J. Well, if there's anything I can do for you... JAY You know what would be great? If you could get the President to drive his bike into a tree again. See, that's my bread and butter. That's what I live on. C.J. [laughing] You're a very funny boy, Jay. [looks over at another woman] How does she look like that? JAY Uh, clean living. Prayer. WOMAN'S VOICE [OS] C.J.? C.J.! C.J. [to Jay] I got to go. A woman walks up to C.J. Sam is right in front of her. C.J. [to the woman] Sorry, there's thing I've got to talk to Sam about... [takes Sam's arm and leads him away] Just pretend that you're talking to me again. SAM Okay. This time, let's use code names. C.J. Where's Josh? SAM He's over there talking to that woman. C.J. Interesting. SAM Of course, it's just possible that they could just be pretending to be talking. C.J. Indeed. Josh is sitting with Joey and Kenny at a table on the other side of the pool. JOSH So, you want to know what we did for lunch today? JOEY [KENNY] What? JOSH We had a meeting with a democratic pollster who told us that we could sew up reelection if the President led the charge in favor a flag burning amendment. JOEY [KENNY] I heard. JOSH How'd you hear? JOEY [KENNY] I hear everything. [on Josh's quizzical look] It was a stupid joke. But I don't even get a sympathy laugh? JOSH [chuckling] Seriously... this guy had some pretty scary numbers. Sam, Toby and C.J. stop at their table. C.J. Josh, I think I just made a three-picture deal. JOSH Three-picture deal doing what? C.J. It doesn't seem to matter. JOSH This is Joey Lucas. This is her assistant Kenny. SAM You're running O'Dwyer's campaign in the 46th. JOEY Yes. SAM Sam Seaborn. JOEY Hi. TOBY Toby Ziegler. JOEY Hello. C.J. C.J. Cregg. JOEY Hi. I know who you all are. JOSH I was just telling her about Kiefer's numbers. JOEY [KENNY] I've seen those numbers. We shared the California polling data. TOBY And? JOEY [KENNY] Kiefer asked the wrong questions. His polls said that 80% of the people, when asked if they'd support an amendment prohibiting flag burning said yes, which is roughly the same amount of people that say they support sending litterbugs to prison. He never asked them how much they care. TOBY Please, please say that you did. JOEY [KENNY] How good am I looking to you right now? TOBY That depends on the California numbers. JOEY [KENNY] 37%, or less than half of those who said they'd favor the amendment, rated the issue fairly or very important. 12%, or less than a third of that group, said that the issue would swing their vote. The only place that this war is being fought is in Washington. TOBY You're looking very good to me right now. JOEY [KENNY] I thought so. TOBY Good to meet you. [gets up, and is followed by C.J. and Sam.] C.J. Nice meeting you. JOSH [to Joey] Do you have any idea how big you scored with Toby and Sam right now? JOEY [KENNY] Yes. Still. I think if you're going to have the President stand up and say something about flag burning, I think he should say that people shouldn't do it. I think he should say that it's a form of protest that a lot of people find terribly troubling. JOSH Your polls say that? JOEY [KENNY] I said that. So do a lot of people. "Vox populi, Vox dei." JOSH "The voice of the people is the voice of a dog"? JOEY The voice of God, Joshua! JOSH God! Yes. JOEY [KENNY] [beat] I came here with someone. JOSH I'm... I'm sorry? JOEY [KENNY] I came here with someone. JOSH Okay, um. I should go. I have to go. JOEY [KENNY] Wait, will you call me some time, next time you come out here? JOSH Absolutely. I will call in advance of my coming. JOEY It was really good to see you. JOSH You, too. CUT TO: INT. A DARK STUDY ROOM - NIGHT Bartlet and Ted Marcus are talking in a study room in the mansion. MARCUS Mr. President, I don't need to tell you that I've got a large microphone at my disposal, and I'm going to demand that you publicly announce that you're going to veto Cameron's bill if it passes. BARTLET It's not going to pass, Ted. It's not going to get voted on. MARCUS No, I'm saying as a gesture, as a symbol. BARTLET And I'm saying as a gesture, as a symbol, you make that public demand, Ted, and you're going to be Cameron's best friend. MARCUS The people in my house want this. And they're complaining to me that you take their money and run, without listening. BARTLET Oh, God, Ted! Give me the name of one person who's complaining to you, and I'll call them personally and tell them I will never sign a law like that. MARCUS Well, then why won't you... BARTLET Ted. MARCUS Why won't you say that publicly? BARTLET [yells] Because I know what I'm doing, Ted! Because I live in the world of professional politics, and you live in the world of adolescent tantrum! [beat] Don't you ever slap Josh Lyman around again. That guy is the White House Deputy Chief of Staff. He's not one of your associate producers. MARCUS You're right. BARTLET Don't screw around with me now, Ted. I'm really not in the mood. MARCUS I mean it. You're right. BARTLET Right now, right this second, the worst thing that could possibly happen to gay rights in this country is for me to put that thing on the debating table, which is happens the minute I open my mouth. Do you get that? I'm a human starting gun, Ted. You got to trust me! I know what I'm doing. MARCUS I trust you, Mr. President. BARTLET Do you? MARCUS Yes, I do. And I like you, too. BARTLET Thank you. MARCUS Have you enjoyed yourself tonight? BARTLET No. MARCUS Me, neither. If you don't mind my saying so, Mr. President, you look more tired than you did when I saw you a couple of months ago. BARTLET Imagine how tired I'm going to look when you see me a couple of months from now. [beat] I haven't slept well, lately. Kept everyone up on the plane as we flew out. You know, we left at 3 in the morning? I really want to try to sleep on the way back. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT The fundraiser is over. Josh is packing, while Donna is lying on the bed. DONNA That was it? JOSH Yeah. DONNA Just because she said she was with somebody? JOSH She said she was with somebody. DONNA Oh, Josh! JOSH Donna, she's with somebody! DONNA She could have just been saying that. JOSH Why would she just be saying that? DONNA For the allure. JOSH Oh. DONNA Go see her before we leave. JOSH It's one in the morning. DONNA Go knock on her door. JOSH I'm not going to knock on her door at one in the morning. DONNA Yes! Because you're whisking away to Washington, and you had to see her one more time before you left, because God knows what fate awaits you when once you get there. JOSH Are you okay? DONNA Gather ye rosebuds, Josh. JOSH Donna, I am not going to knock on her door Donna starts clucking like a chicken. JOSH Were you just clucking like a chicken, is that what that was? DONNA Yes. JOSH I couldn't knock on her door if I wanted to, I don't have her room number. DONNA [picks up phone message] Yes, you do. She waves the message, and in a sing-song voice-- DONNA Phone Message! Phone message! JOSH Okay, first of all, don't do that thing anymore with the phone message! Phone message! DONNA And? JOSH Tell them I'll be down in one minute. Wait, how's she going to know I'm knocking on the door? DONNA There's a button outside, a light flashes. JOSH [opening door] Tell them I'll be there in a minute. CUT TO: INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - OUTSIDE JOEY’S DOOR - NIGHT Josh arrives at the door and pushes the button repeatedly. The door is finally opened by... Al Kiefer, dressed in a white robe. AL Josh. JOSH Al! AL What can I do for you? JOSH You know I got the wrong room. AL I don't think so. You're looking for Joey? JOSH Yeah. AL She's right here. JOSH No! I'm not. I-I-I was just stopping to say a quick goodbye, don't bother. JOEY [OS] Who's out there? She comes out of the bathroom, also dressed in a white robe. She is clearly shocked to see Josh at the door. JOSH I wanted to say a quick goodbye. We’re taking off. And, uh, thank you for talking to us tonight. That was helpful. Joey signs something at him. AL She said goodbye. JOSH I know. Joeey gives him a really sweet smile. JOSH Goodbye. Josh walks away as Al closes the door. CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE - NIGHT Everyone in the plane is asleep, except Bartlet. He’s inside his office, talking on the phone to Vice President Hoynes. BARTLET [into phone] Anyway, Mr. Vice President, it's taken care of, we can put it to rest. HOYNES [VO] Thank you, sir. BARTLET You're welcome. Bye. HOYNES [VO] Good night. BARTLET Wait. John? HOYNES [VO] Yes, sir? BARTLET I want to tell you, a couple of years ago in Iowa, I really admired the way you hung in there on the ethanol tax credit. You went out to Iowa and said the same things you'd been saying in the Senate for eight years, event though you knew it wasn't going to play. My confession is, you and I agree on ethanol, but you were the only one to say it. You stood in there even though you knew you were going to lose Iowa and who knows what after that. Anyway, I just wanted to say you had a good day today, John. HOYNES [VO] Thank you, Mr. President. BARTLET I'm going to try to go to sleep now. HOYNES [VO] Good night, Mr. President. See you in the morning. BARTLET Yeah. Bartlet slowly hangs up phone and closes his eyes. As the camera closes in, his eyes slowly, and sadly, open again. DISSOLVE TO: END CREDITS. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 1.16 -- “20 Hours In L.A.” Original Airdate: February 23, 2000, 9:00 PM EST Transcript By: Camper